Yesterday I did a post about my boyfriend & his ex, I didn't include in my post that they have 2 children. It always seems like his children are dropped off unannounced & he tells me at the last minute they are coming over when he has to work. So I am the one who ends up watching them. If I have plans&have to go somewhere & they have to go back home, his ex gets upset. For instance, one weekend, his children came over and my boyfriend had to go to work. He didn't let me know in advance that they were coming. I had already had made my plans for the weekend. So he took them back to their mother's house just until he got off work. His ex had a fit!! She got mad and called me. And started questioning me about what I was doing that day. She also made a statement to me that as a mother, I should understand the importance of a father spending time with his children. I told her that I did, however, she & my boyfriend needed to handle the situation with their children. It is unfair to the kids.
2007-03-28 03:57:21 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I would not let her question me about my weekend plans. Momma was right in that they need to spend time with their father, however, that is not you. Let her know what time Dad will be available on the weekend so arrangements can be made for him to pick them up. I'd tell her straight up and daddy too that they need to make arrangements and that the kids are not to be dropped off unannounced PERIOD. The ex sounds spiteful to me and if she can provide proof that you don't want to babysit the kids that maybe you won't be a good wife, step mom. I do see your dilemma and agree with you, however, do hope that if there is an emergency you will be available.
2007-03-28 04:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somebody --and I think it's your boyfriend-- better make that lady --the ex-- understand the importance of the mother's role too. Sure the father is extremely important too, but they are hers, not yours. You and your boyfriend and he and his ex need to come to a clear understanding of what's expected of each, or this is going to go on until it ends up in a crisis. You all need to establish some definitions, because it'ss unfair and abnormal to expect that ANYONE is just going to be static and available all the time. That's not real at all. Besides, what right does that chick have to ask what your plans are? You all better define what's what before going any further. If a Court of Law was involved, that's what they would do.
2007-03-28 11:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by forlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You handled it very well. Those children are not your responsibility. And besides, how are they supposed to spend time with their father if he's at work, anyway? It seems like neither of them really want the responsibility of those children. On the plus side, at least their mother feels comfortable enough with you that she trusts you to watch them.
2007-03-28 11:08:04 · answer #3 · answered by qtpie831 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing, but remember that those kids have feelings too. Try and think about what they may be thinking when you took them home. I know, bad grammar... But make sure that they know you couldn't go back on your plans, and taht you love them. They've already had to deal with a divorce, and now this? Make sure that they have fun in their life as will as what they've already got. Just remember that they need you to care as well.
2007-03-28 11:06:03 · answer #4 · answered by Crappy Haircut Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Handled quite very well. It is not your responsiblity as far as being his kids babysitter. In fact, I don't advise you to be alone with the kids EVER. The ex in terms needs to be questioned on what SHE is doing on that weekend when she knows he is working... Not to rely on you to do the work of being it his weekend under your care. If he works the weekends that he has the kids but off the other weekend he needs to talk to the mom about switching weekends. Good job on holding your guns! It isn't advisable to deal with people who force you to do anything that makes you yourself unhappy!
2007-03-28 11:04:09 · answer #5 · answered by Franchesca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you handled it fine. Most baby mama's just can't stand the fact that the father has a new woman. They do spitefull stuff like that mainly to be noticed and get attention.
2007-03-28 11:02:59 · answer #6 · answered by michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice work. You are not a babysitter. You have your own life. Visitation with your boyfriend is just that. If he is not present then that is not visitation. That is using the girlfriend.
2007-03-28 11:15:54 · answer #7 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
huh soz too long!
2007-03-28 11:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋