Help! My son is almost twenty and still lives at home. He works, pays his own bills and very responsible. The problem is with his love life. He has only dated three girls. The first one for 2 years, the second for year. I loved both the girls and became very close to them. I still keep in contact with both girls. They were like daughters to me.
He is an only child and since I have no daughters, I feel like I get too attached to them. He and the last girlfriend just broke it off a few weeks ago and he is seeing the third girl, whom I like also.
The problem is the second girl keeps calling me and says he is still talking to her and they may get back together. Because of this, I am torn between both girls and thinks he needs to make a decision on which one he wants to date. I don't feel that he should be playing either one of them which is what he is doing. I care for the girls and don't want to see them hurt. I have tried to butt out but with both girls calling me, its hard.
2007-03-28 03:51:21 · 9 answers · asked by RM 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Are you sure the second girl is telling you the truth? My mother had the same issue with one of my brother's girlfriends. She constantly told my mother how she and my brother were going out and how he would call her, etc. The fact is that it just wasn't true. She was using my mom to get back with my brother. My mom finally told her that if she wanted to be friends with her that was fine but not to talk about my brother anymore.
2007-03-28 03:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by Heather Mac 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your relationship with these girls is unhealthy, you may like them but they are your son's ex girlfriends. how would you feel if when you first met you're husband if his mother was still buddy's with all his exes and still talked to them - wouldnt that make you VERY uncomfortable? I think you slowly need to take a step back and distance yourself from these relationships. Maybe you could do some youth work, or go to your local church or something to get the friendships that you are seeking - otherwise just be happy with the son you have and stop trying to create daughters that don't exist. sorry that sounded harsh but i think it is true
2007-03-28 03:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by josietheninja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let both girls know that you really like them, almost like daughters, but that your son is a grown man and as such he needs to conduct his life the way he wants and you are his mother and support his choices, but don't always approve of the way he makes his decisions or conducts himself but love him and you all need to stop discussing him when you talk. Lay down the rule, NO discussing [son] whe we talk, no exceptions. Good luck and God Bless.
P.S. You really don't want to get into all this because if he makes a quick decision and it turns out wrong everyone will blame you anyway. STAY CLEAR.
2007-03-28 04:18:51 · answer #3 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your sons responsibility to deal with whom he wants to be involved with. When the other girl calls just say your hands are tied and your son will decide who he wants to be with. You can't lead the other girl on by telling her that maybe they will get back together. You don't know how your son truly feels. Your son is a adult "pur-say", so don't interfere with his relationships. Like you mentioned you've tried to butt out in the passed, so stick to your guns! You don't want to end up being the bad guy in the middle! Cocoa
2007-03-28 04:03:11 · answer #4 · answered by cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your problem alright, because you get attached to the girls, but it's his decission and his life and if I were your son, especially as responsible and mature as you say he is, I could appreciate a "friendly" talk with my mother where she could explain to me "her" problem and ask my feelings on it. Most likely, I would have a reasonable answer if I was approached that way.
Since you get so attached to the girls, it's no wonder that they keep calling you. Be careful that you don't allow yourself to be manipulated by them into a decission for your son. IT IS his life, and again, as you pointed out, he seems reasonably responsible.
2007-03-28 04:00:27 · answer #5 · answered by forlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're such good friends with the ex-girlfriend, just tell her that it's a very awkward time around your household and that you're trying very hard to keep yourself neutral so that life is livable.
It's good that you feel you need to respect your son's space. It's great that you form relationships with his long-term girlfriends. It's just not good if you let yourself be put in the middle. Hopefully the ex-girlfriend will get the subtle hint and keep your friendship free of mentions of your son.
2007-03-28 03:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by Jarien 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOu really should let him work his relationships with these girls out himself. I understand you want the best for him, but honestly I don't think this is any of your business. This girl is trying to make this your business by calling you and discussing details of his and her personal life, but if he called it quits with her than she has no business running to you at this point.
2007-03-28 03:56:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your loyalty lies with your son ~ not his girlfriends. I think you need to stop taking their calls and let him make his own decisions........
2007-03-28 04:16:10 · answer #8 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay out of it.
2007-03-28 03:55:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋