so, i have a friend that i have been knowing since grade school. we recently have started talking more. he has a baby and a fiance. he constantly wants to talk. he even told me that he can tell me things he would never tell his fiance. he told me that he had the hugest crush on me when we were younger. i love him (as a friend) and i want to remain his friend. would us talking this much upset his fiance if she found out? i think i would be rather upset if the man i had a baby for were reminiscing with someone he used to have feelings for. what do i tell him? do i keep on talking to him? or do i tell him it's not a good idea that we talk so much? give me some kind of comfort, please!
2007-03-28 03:36:29 · 7 answers · asked by ♥Victoria♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think your intuition is telling you something with this guy. Placing yourself in the girlfriends shoes shouts out a problem. Sounds to me like the topic of your conversations feel inappropriate to you. Stay off these topics and if not avoid the contact.
2007-03-28 04:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me put it to you this way: if he were a woman, would you have a problem the relationship and the things happening then? Outside the reminscing about his crush on you, I mean. It's only wrong if things start to cross the line. We all need someone to talk to and yes, is SHOULD be our life mate, but very often it isn't, because hey, life isn't perfect. My best friend is NOT my husband, he's a man in fact, and I could honestly tell you that I loved him. But not in a romantic sense. Reminiscing is just that...having a good laugh at how stupid we all were when we were younger, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
BUT...even after saying all of this, I'm a firm believer in gut instincts. Mine never leads me wrong. So I have to say that if something is making you wonder, then chances are good that you are subconsciously picking up something about him that makes you uneasy. I'd say wait it out and watch. If it happens a lot, that the conversations go into thing that make you uncomfortable, talk to him about it.
2007-03-28 10:49:47 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important that he and his fiance have a good trusting relationship. How can they have a good marriage if he can't be open with her? Maybe you should suggest that he talk to his fiance. Try opening up to her. Even if he does have feelings for you, you don't for him. He needs to work it out for himself. If you try to save the day for him, he will turn to you instead of his wife. That won't be smart. If he really can't be honest with her then why is he marrying her? And how can he love her when he has feelings for you? Don't get yourself mixed up with it all. You will be the one hurt in the end if you do. I suggest backing off, but not completely cutting him off. Maybe you should tell him how you feel. Hope that helps.
2007-03-28 10:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by Leah J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it will upset his fiance. What is it you talk about that he can,t tell anyone else? Try and spend less time with him. You don't need to tell him anything. Sometimes avoid him and he will get the message.
2007-03-28 11:12:13 · answer #4 · answered by ijepums 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well victoria, Maybe he wants to just talk cause he is your friend. you might think that she might get mad , but you have to think again she knows that he loves her very much and he wouldnt do anything to hurt her so she trust him to talk to other women without falling in love with them. he probably feels the same way about her. Like me a have a guy friend who has a girlfriend and we talk all the time and he can only tell me stuff that he cant tell his girlfriend. that just means that you are one of his buddies that he can talk to and that will understand him. just because he had a crush on you in the past doesnt mean that he will have one on u now.
2007-03-28 10:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by ashfry101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's telling you things that he's not telling his fiance, then he's showing signs that you're the love of his life. Tell him that he should be loyal to his fiance, because you're not feeling what he's feeling, probably.
2007-03-28 10:40:07 · answer #6 · answered by Kahera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question is why doesn't the fiance already know? if he's hiding that he's talking to you then he's looking for trouble and you need to let him know where y'all stand w/each other. tell him y'all are friends & if he can't respect that then y'all can't talk anymore.
2007-03-28 10:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by Clueless??? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋