Cleaning up an affair gone bad?

Question

I never told my ex. bf that he got me pregnant is now the father of my 5.5 yr old son because i wanted to avoid problems.He was really immature at the time .Anyway i graduated from college and got married to a nice guy .Everything was suburban paradise but we were trying to get pregnant for almost 2 yrs. This put a lot of strain on our relationship causing a lot of fights he wanted us to have a baby to complete our family.He started accusing me of trying to prevent pregnancy which was not the case.Results were alot of fights and seperation for a year. I had a fling by chance during the seperation with my ex.bf (son's bio-dad )who is married was going through what my hubby and i had with fertility problems stress his wife wanted a baby badly.I was lonley and wanted someone to talk too i ended it because i felt the affair was wrong.Damage was already done though i am now 7 months pregnant with his child again.

I think i pretty much put the nail in the coffin with my marriage .

Not a h o only had sex with 2 men in my entire life!

Answer 1

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Oh my goodness you really have a mess going on here don't you? I really think you need to stop lying and covering up your messes. Do you love your husband? If your husband is willing to take you back do you want to make this marriage work? That is the first thing you should do. Tell the truth because in reading your dilemma, hiding things only seems to get you deeper into trouble which we all know happens in the end. I don't even know what to tell you about your 5 1/2 year old son. I am assuming in all this you have not told your son's father that he is his son and does your husband know that your son's father is the man you had the affair with? As painful as all of this will be for you, my suggestion is you come clean on everything. I would assume that your husband is going to have a hard time ever believing you and probably will want out of this marriage especially because he wanted a child with you and now you are pregnant with another man's child. I still believe though that with all the skeletons out of your closet, you will be able to sleep at night because there will be no more secrets to haunt you. I wish you the best of luck for all of you in this unfortunate mess.

Answer 2

I don't really know what the question is, but it sounds like you have gotten yourself into quite a mess. Since I believe in honesty in a marriage *and because you are pregnant so there will be a child involved*, you need to fess up to your husband. Do not try to act like none of this ever happened and try to pass this child off as your husbands. Your husband and your baby should not have to suffer because of something that you have done. I am not trying to be mean, but you need to be honest and talk to your husband.

Answer 3

Opps! This pregnancy isn't going to help you and your husband resolve your issues. To begin with, you were only separated and not divorced. Next, your ex was married when you messed around with him. Now, you have some splaining to do Lucy. You are going to have some tough times to deal with along with this pregnancy. You don't say if your husband is willing to work through this problem. I would seek marriage counseling.

Answer 4

Beyondaffairsnetwork has remarkable counsel on what the two the betrayer and the betrayed can do to artwork by way of an infidelity (actual or emotional -- and everyone who doubts that an emotional affair is a betrayal is improper!). If I wisely examine your assertion, your husband has broken off all touch with the different lady (the 1st and needed step). that he's feeling experience sorry approximately and is prepared to circulate with you to counseling are steps interior the outstanding course. at the same time as he's one hundred% in charge for his habit and it grow to be completely his option to seek for interest from this different lady, it is important to remember that he "felt" that he wasn't getting sufficient interest from you. So, relatively than protecting lower back and waiting for him to "of course" exhibit the affection which he previously grow to be no longer able to tutor you (and which your counselor stated is a discovered habit), be (sweetly) particular in what you like. "Honey, i in my opinion want a hug," that form of ingredient. Ask him to place in writing you a love poem. (It would not must be begging!) tell him what makes you happy and enjoyed. do no longer anticipate him to be a suggestions reader, relatively for the reason that he grow to be already somebody who had a problematic time expressing himself. have self belief me, i be attentive to that this hurts and it takes a great form of time and artwork to rebuild have faith in a relationship. I even have self belief it particularly is feasible to do, once you're the two prepared to do the artwork. sturdy success!

Answer 5

You statement about putting the nail in the coffin sums up everything. I'm going to have to agree with you on this one and say it looks as though you've left yourself with no options.

Answer 6

You 2 are very fertile with each other. If you still love each other divorce your husband and marry your ex. Then you can have lots of babies.

Answer 7

Wow, sounds like a soap opera! Tell your hubby that you're pregnant with his baby. Or just give in and realize that you're really meant to be with your son's father.

Answer 8

Yup, it sounds you and the b/f should be together w/ this wantin to have kids/babies. That is happening w/ you and the b/f, not the husband.

Good luck!

Answer 9

i think you should go on gerry springer and then tell your husband the whole thing and then have the other guy and his wife come out.

Answer 10

sounds like ya'll need to be together.