worried about my husband?

Question

My husband is unhappy with his life. He says I didn't do anything wrong. He says I'm a great person but he just can't be happy. I wonder if he suffers from depression. Lots of people have said the same thing. I have thought about it and I feel like he is mostly unhappy with himself. He has a crappy job and can't seem to ever find something better even though he tries really hard to get a better job. He's going to Florida to take a motorcycle mechanics class to get a degree in it. He says that once he gets that he'll be able to take care of me and the kids better. I think that the fact that he can't provide for us like he wish he could and that he is in a dead end job is part of his unhappiness. He moved out a month ago because he was unhappy but I don't think he did it for the right reason. I want to help him realize that he's a great person. He thinks he's not good enough for anyone. I've tried to tell him his good points but nothing seems to work. Any suggestions on something to say?

One person has asked if he is happy now that he moved out and the answer to that is no. He said he is still not happy with his life. Which is why I believe he is suffering from depression. But I've confronted him about it because I know the symptoms. I suffer from it. He doesn't think depression is a serious thing. He thinks it's something you can just get over. And no he is not gay. I know that for a fact. How do I get him to realize he needs to get help because he's stubborn and hard headed.

Answer 1

He's depressed, plain and simple. Get him some help for it, and all the rest will take care of itself! Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Yes this could be depression and he also is feeling less then a man because he wants to provide better for you. A man likes to feel that he is a good provider and that he can take proper care of his family. He is a great guy and you need to let him know that. Love him where he is at and support him through this. Get him to a doctor and get him checked for stress and depression and maybe medical attention and medication may help him. He may also need counseling and therapy for how he is feeling. Keep on doing what you are doing as you are a good wife through this all. The best thing you can do for him is to keep on loving and supporting him no matter what! Be the best wife to him that you know how to be and you will be blessed for it.

Answer 3

Actions speak better than words. Hover over him like a hawk, continually supportive. Depression, Oh yeah. Its a man thing where we feel helpless if we can't provide the kind of life for a family. Seek marriage counseling so you both can work this out. You need to show him that your willing to do whatever it takes to make this work and just comfort him. This is hard for him...

Answer 4

From what i am hearing, i think depression is a big issue here, and the depression is causing him to be negative, to look on the bright side he needs to realize that even though he does not have the best job ever, he does have a job, some people are not blessed with the physical ability to work, some people are too lazy too work. Also he should be proud of himself, there are men who don't even try to take care of there families, they spend money on women, drugs, & beer. Even when things look bad, we have to know it could be worse..i hate my job but i thank God i am not unemployed, i don't like my old car, but thank God i have trasnportation, my husband does things i don't like, but thank God he does work and does not beat me. Your husband is suffering from depression and until he gets help he is not going to realize how blessed he is.

Answer 5

Yeah, tell him to come over one night, and have a candlelight dinner waiting on him. When you both sit down to eat, lavish him with compliments. Let him know that you are crazy about him, and him just being his self is enough for you and the kids. That the two of you will work through this together, and that you have faith in him or you wouldn't have married him, and that you believe in him and all he does and wants to do. Just let him know how you feel. Let him know that he is a man, a good man, and you and the kids want him more than anything. Good luck.

Answer 6

Honey in today's world your either rich or poor not to many middle class left all though allot of them think they are but they will soon be phased out to .

Tell him its not his fault its just the way the economy is going and there is going to be more and more feeling the way he feels until people get fed up but you 2 need to stick together to make it threw .

Its great that he is getting a degree that would improve your situation dramatically and you should stand behind him . But to abandoned his family is not good at all .Maybe you should try to fined a way to go to where he is . If he doesn't wont you there then maybe there's more to it then he is confessing to you.

Answer 7

It sure sounds like he's depressed. If he is stuck in a lousy dead end job I can understand how that would make him unhappy but he's taking steps to correct that so I'm thinking he might need medication to correct the chemical imbalance that causes depression.

Answer 8

he sounds very depressed, and the sad part is that he has to decide what he can do to get better, most men are very much against therapy in these situations, it tends to make them feel even more like a loser. the best thing you can do is let him know the ways that you need him, for the things that do not take money or greatness, you need him to be there with you to share your life. he is missing out on the best part of life, being with the people that love him and that he loves. the majority of us have horrid jobs, and we know that our life is not our job. i go to work every day and i know that when i get off work my life begins. help him to find humor and joy by telling him things that make you smile and don't forget to tell him how important he is in your life. he needs to feel needed and that he is providing his family the things that they need. {material things are not important} let him know that with him gone you have lost your best friend and the only one who makes your life good. if you reassure him that you are with him because you love and Cherish him, help him to see that he is needed and worthwhile. i know from experience things are not enough to give you happiness. we find joy and love in the people we have in our lives.

Answer 9

It sounds like he needs to see a counselor, to help get to the root of the problem, or quite possibly, he may need medication if he is depressed. It sounds like you have said all that you can say. Try to talk him into going to see a counselor and reassure him *over and over again* that you and your children love him very much, and that you just want him to get through this and that you are there for him.
Good luck

Answer 10

I am this way, truth be known. He needs help u cant give it .U can stand beside him.Just a suggestion to get him some help,sorta say u are feeling this way that u feel u r having some issues and u need him to come and help u get doc advise . There are lots of things to get to read and help understanding the problem. He needs to be able to feel worthy of his life and your love . Good Luck with everything.

Answer 11

Does he feel happy now? that he is not with you, ask him. He must be troubling about something, you would think if he loved you he would want to stay with you for support. Sorry to say this if he is depressed and not happy with you he could be gay. He should go and have councelling now. He can't cure himself on his own.