Normal to feel this way at 23?

Question

I'm 23 and a post-graduate from college. All of my high school and college friends are either still doing their bachelor's degree or have gone onto grad school. Of all my friends, I have been in the longest relationship and we are now engaged after 5 years. I am getting married later this year and have already found a home (closing date is soon).

With the advent of MySpace and Facebook, I have found myself keeping in contact with friends while I work my full-time job. Although I feel I have a lot accomplished at only 23, I see pictures of them traveling and going to parties and get somewhat jealous. I know I am blessed to have a wonderful fiance and have the money to afford a home right off the bat, but I feel like I might have matured too quickly. I'm not one for clubs and parties too much, but have had my share and have traveled a little.

Is it normal to feel this awkward transition at 23 or is it too soon to feel so out of place, even with all I have around me and going for me?

Answer 1

You better settle this before you go to the altar.

Answer 2

Considering I just had a 15 year old daughter of a friend tell me she's pregnant and start talking about "family plans", I don't consider you to be a late bloomer. It's hard sometimes to give up the "fun single life," but down the road, if not already, those friends are going to be jealous of your "family life" and the fact that you have a wife who is always there for you, and a house/home of your own, and you aren't facing life alone.

If you have no children, there isn't any reason why you and your wife shouldn't be able to travel. It just may not be a week off somewhere all the time. You can take weekend getaways, and you could go out and party together. You probably will start making new "married" friends who the two of you do stuff with as a couple.

Answer 3

WOW it was almost like i was reading a posting of my self!! i am only 21 I have a full time job and live with my future husband and we own a town house. I go to school at night to get my 4 year degree. I have always hung out with older people in high school i always felt out of place or to 'mature' for my friends. i look at the face book and my space profiles and get jealous as well! they are all drinking living the life of a 'college student'...but i look at that and just tell my self, that's all they have they will graduate with a few thousand other kids and be thrown into the rat race to find a job after they get there 4 year degree. I am working full time i make amazing money and love my job. This summer I plan on buying my first brand new sports car. about $45-$50k. I can pull up to my 5 year class reunion and know that I feel like i have made it. They drank away all of there money and have nothing at the age of 23... I have a house, car and a wedding.
yup it is normal trust me!! at times i want to leave my job work part time and go back to school and party just like my friends, but then I would not be able to live the life I do now. So i made that decision. Either drink party and go to college full time and drive a beater car or work earn my money and at the end of the day be able to go to the home I own. trust me in 5 years your friends will be jealous of you.

Answer 4

you just sounded like you were telling my story!!! Im 23 as well, own my home, have a great job, degree, truck, Great Guy! but at the same time i see so friends that are care free and think, damn, i wish i would have went to a big college instead of focusing on just getting done... but then, i think it could be a hell of a lot worse... and i should be thankful for what i have... i think that to some degree everyone feels this way... kinda a "what if" feeling.... the way i look at it is... at least we have ourself together and we might not be able to run off to this party and leave town for that one every weekend... but in the long run... we will have a lot more to show.... hang in there.... but i would let my Fiance know that you are feeling this way.....
Also, when you stop and think about it.... when i want to go out to a party... me and my guy go... but when it's all over, yeah we had a great time... but i dont miss the drunks flirting with us, and the same ol' bar flys... if you know what i mean...

Answer 5

You have accomplished more then most. Don't let your friends carefree lifestyles make you feel envious. Marriage isn't an end, but it is only a beginning. If you delay having kids for a few years, you can travel, but you will have someone to share these experiences. It is up to you and your fiance discover married life. Talk with your love and make plans for the next few years. Just remember, you are 2 steps ahead most of your friends.

Answer 6

You've accomplished more at 23 than most do by 33! I bet your parents are very proud of you and your fiance is glad he's made the choice to be with you. He will be lucky to have you in his corner through lifes trials and tribulations. Look at what you've accomplished rather than thinking you've missed out, there will be time for that when you've moved into your new home and meet new friends. When and if you decide to have children, they will be better prepared for life having someone like you that can give them the proper guidience that so many kids seem to be missing today. Hey good luck to ya!

Answer 7

maybe your wearing someone else shoes, that dont fit. or maybe your just still young, and you dont want to decide how to lead the rest of your life, just yet. you should party and stay with your frineds. maybe you moved a little bit too quikcly. but there are other people that are in the opposite position, and want to be in yours. the grass is greener on the other side. i hope you make up your mind what to do, have fun, and you sound like your already prepared for tomorrow. soo slow down a little, because you might regret it when you get older, beacuse you can never go back.

Answer 8

You will need to determine what is more important and go with it. Personally, I would advise marrying your fiance and your doing exciting things together. A good mate is hard to find. You may never find someone like your fiance again. There is a lot to be said for maturity over going to clubs and parties.

Answer 9

You can choose to have a life of partying that is enjoyable for a fleeting moment, or the joy and security of growing up with your husband. You will soon be the envy of all of your friends who will be e-mailing you to ask if your husband has a brother or if you know of any men that want to get married. Enjoy what you have! I think you know that the party life is pretty empty.

Answer 10

Please PLEASE take my advice as truth. Im 26 and Im going in college now. I have SO MANY friends who are going to college and go out every weekend. They are VERY LONELY people when they arent out partying. My girlfriend Tanya** for example, she goes out every weekend, but always calls me crying because SHE WISHES SHE HAD WHAT I HAVE with my husband. She desperatly wants SOMEONE to be with her, but has a really hard time finding someone. The grass might seem greener on the other side, but it isnt at all! If you found someone you love and can be with and trust, STAY WITH HER! TRUST ME.... there are a ton of girls out there who would LOVE to take advantage of a guy like you! If anything, why not go out one night with your fiance? Have fun, meet up with some friends. You have to have a middle ground! Good luck

Answer 11

I felt that way when I was married to my ex-husband. We were together since I was 17 and I was really jealous of my single friends. After we got divorced I was happy that I finally got to do the things they did. But it got old really fast and I missed being with someone. You are in a better place than them, trust me.