My husband is threatening divorce if I don’t make a choice .What do I do? Part 2?

Question

Part 1
http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsokL089VriwciwchHVx5eXg5gt.?qid=20070327082635AAixv20
Part 2
People here are blowing this WAY out of proportion. I have NEVER spend much time much less the night at James’ house since he moved back here. I certainly didn’t plan on falling asleep at his house. He had broken up with his girlfriend 3 days earlier and asked me to keep him company once I got there. I FELL ASLEEP! I’m an incredibly deep sleeper which is why I didn’t get up after a few hours. I woke up covered by a blanket on James’ sofa and when I saw the dozens of missed calls and voicemails I had I rushed home. I’ve never cheated on anyone and neither has James. My husband and him simply don’t get along because my husband is convinced James wants me back which is just crazy. My husband is a dentist and dated on of his assistants during an off period in those 3 years who he still works with today and I have no problem with that.

My husband agreed to compromise to let me spend time with James at our place which to me is just a sign that he doesn’t trust me. I want this marriage to work because I truly do love my husband but I don’t think I should have to stand for my husband telling who I can and cannot see. Where do we go from here?

Answer 1

I hate people like you. You know how to justify any action you want and your husband has to put up with it. I feel bad for Logan he deserves better. You are not loyal and I'm sure you would not stand for this behavior if he was the one acting this way. You seem to have little empathy for your own husband and it looks like this James guy has no respect for marriage. Why should he. James gets to date you without having to be responsible for anything else in your life. Not like your husband who is there at home day after day. You need to see a therapist and set up some more appropriate boundaries if you want to stay married. Personally I think Logan does not have a wife worth keeping. I hope you don't have kids because I'd hate them to have a mother who sleeps at other mens houses. Be merciful to your husband Logan and divorce him so he can go find a decent mate.

Answer 2

When you enter into a marriage the rules aren't quite so clear sometimes. When you say you don't want him to tell you who to see and not see I can understand your initial feelings and why you want to dig your heels in here, but is it worth the cost of your marriage to remain a "friend" to someone. Most people wouldn't put a friend above their spouse. And I understand that it is the principle of the thing that he should trust you, but obviously he has some issues with that. I think he is compromising a great deal by saying he has no problems with you and James visiting at your house. Give it some time, after awhile of visiting with James at your house and perhaps your husband getting to know James better maybe he will loosen the boundaries a little. No matter what you and your husband need to maintain good communications through all this and actually through your whole marriage in order for it to be successful. Good luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 3

You apparently want everything YOUR way. You are very selfish. Do your husband a favor and tell him you want out of the marriage. Get divorced so then you can do whatever you want with whoever you want for whatever reasons you want to justify it with. Because it is all about YOU. You seem to have the maturity of a spoiled 15 year old girl. You don't belong in a marriage, you have no idea how to be a good and loyal wife. You have NO BUSINESS spending anytime with your ex - UNLESS you are NOT married. Your husband deserves much better than what you are giving him. Good luck.

Answer 4

if he has agreed to you seeing James at your home what is the problem. Why aren't you trying to have this same sort of friendship with your hubby? It's not like he said you can never see him but sometimes when you are married you just compromise. Have James bring a date and come over for dinner with you and the hubby. I would be livid if my hubby slept over at someone elses house man or woman with me sitting at home worrying. It is inconsiderate of you to try to justify why it happened. you should be apologizing to him because to him you are having an emotional affair. If James had the time to cover you with a blanket, as a friend that knows how your hubby feels, he should have shaken you awake or called your hubby to tell him that you were asleep and he couldn't wake you so your hubby wasn't worried.

Answer 5

You sound extremely immature and unrealistic.To compare your husband working with an ex to you visiting alone and ending up spending the night at an ex's house is absurd!! When you grow up and get married there are certain things you have to give up.You don't have to be enemies with James,but you can't have private visits with him.It is just not appropriate,and your husband has every right to demand you make this choice.

Answer 6

your husband has every right to be furious. How would you feel if you were in his shoes? If your husband was spending a lot of time with a woman he used to be intimate with, and the only reason they split is because she moved away, and then got together with you as a consolation prize. then she moves back into town ,and spends a lot of time with her again, and he "falls asleep" on her couch. Cut me a break. He should dump you and leave you at the curb like the trash you are.

Stay completely with your husband, or let him dump your worthless as-s

Answer 7

I don't understand why you are continuing to post about this so many times..

What you did was wrong, very wrong.. You need to understand that, and own up to what you've done.. otherwise there is no hope in saving your marriage.

Answer 8

sounds like its to late and he still has a thing for his sec, and its called sex. so you better let go now

Answer 9

See my answer part one that I just wrote

http://au.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhvkmAUPdukxDfZ2hunb.U3pDxV.?qid=20070327082635AAixv20&r=w&pa=FZptHWf.BGRX3OFMhjFUVzB.uIgwouhpQzRdU0R9CdPWKwEqg7wagWwVAiH3zdHNb.zC2toCMGip8_.8yw--&paid=answered&cp=3&tp=3#all-answers