just got married 1 month ago. before wedding ..he was the best guy..on earth.. n after wedding ..u end up getting abused with words, beaten, chased out of home etc. but next day he calls and says sorry. and sorry been accepted for the 4th time. but eventually same drama starts. why ppl change?why ppl don't know how to live happy? its such a waste.. married only 1 month.. n going thru mental stress. but I will never leave him.. because I love him too much.
2007-03-28 02:52:07 · 22 answers · asked by DJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, anybody that lays his hands on you and scares you like that on a daily basis does NOT love you. My husband and I fight, sure. Who doesn't? But he would NEVER lay a hand on me, has never even raised a hand to me in anger. You have a right to want to live without getting beat every day. It does exist. No marriage isn't all rosy, but a good marriage isn't one where one spouse lives in fear of the other. That's called abuse, and you should get out. That's not love. That's fear. Please do yourself a favor and get out now. You are worthy of a man who will treat you like a queen, and I pray that someday you come to realize that, hopefully sooner than later.
Good luck and God bless.
2007-03-28 03:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is abusing you then you are stupid to stay in the marriage. People don't change that quickly. His true colors are coming out. He has to know that there are consequences to his actions. Since you keep taking him back then you are teaching him how to treat you. This is fast becoming a pattern. Marriage is very difficult and yet it can be the most rewarding relationship of anyone's life. It takes work , sacrifice , and forgiveness. However, when abuse ...getting "beaten" as you put it is a crime. That is not acceptable. If he doesn't get help with his anger one of these days you will not be alive to forgive. You need help to find out why you tolerate a man beating you and belittling you.
The first year of marriage is always the hardest but it shouldn't involve hitting. I suspect that you might be hitting back and that is why he abandons the house. I could be wrong. Get some couples counseling asap. You are both young in your marriage and probably just need some direction that you didn't receive prior to the wedding.
2007-03-28 03:30:42 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My marriage is going great. 2 years come August. I tell you it has it's hard time. The key is to work it out. In your case did he not ever show you who he was before you got married? You all need some therapy or something. He will continue to verbally and physically abuse you. You know how I know... because you already said you won't leave him... because you love him so much. Not sure why on earth you think that is acceptable. I believe all marriages can survive anything but also he has to be willing to get help and know that he has a problem. It is not enough that he says sorry after the fact. He needs to stop doing what he is doing. You cannot change a man you can only change yourself. My grnadma use to tell me a long time ago. "if you can't change the people around you. Change the people around you" meaning since you can't change how others act, change the people you surrround yourself with. I hope things get better but if not you need to get help and get out. Call a domestic violence hotline or visit a website. It would be an awful thing one day if he got so mad and killed you.
2007-03-28 03:02:36 · answer #3 · answered by Cutie Pie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all people change, but there is nothing that can be done for you, if you don't want to help yourself. If you are being beaten, and abused then why do you continue to let yourself stay? That may be the better question here. There is such a thing as unhealthy love, and it seems to be where you are right now. However, if you choose to stay, than what happens next, is what you let happen.
2007-03-28 02:56:34 · answer #4 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say that an abuser doesn't abuse overnight. They had to be signs here and there. Maybe some you just overlooked or ignored.....Physical abuse and Mental abuse is not love and if your not ready to seek help or leave the marriage after a month then things for you are only going to get worse.......You love him and how do you think he feels about you?????? If he loves you, he wouldn't hurt you and if he's sorry then he would not have done this to you in the first place.....Think about yourself.......Best of luck!!!!!!!!
2007-03-28 03:05:26 · answer #5 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you say you won't leave him because you "LOVE" him to much then you are full of crap! You can not "LOVE" him, if you do not "LOVE" yourself, and you obviously do not "LOVE" yourself or you would leave his sorry ars! You are a better person, then what you feel you are. You do not have to put up with being treated like that, NO physical abuse, NO mental abuse! You would be better off getting the marriage annulled now, then risk being married for several years and then be so messed up or end of worse off then that! You will be a better and happier person with out him, in the long run. BE STRONG AND LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO SAY GOODBYE!
2007-03-28 03:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by CC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the answer to "is married life really rosy" is no.
However, beaten and chased out of home? 4 times?
I say end this farce before it goes any further. One month? This is way too far gone after only one month. Get out of this and call it a lesson learned. Get on with your life and get away from this idiot.
2007-03-28 02:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
NO... NO marriage is always rosy. Everything is about compromising and if you rush into something and dont really know the person as well as you thought, there is alot of doubt cast on the relationship. He needs help. You need to threaten to leave if he doesnt get it. And you need to stick with it, even if you just go to a friends house over night. The thought of losing his wife will shake him and he will do something if he loves you. If he doesnt, then sweets, you need to leave. You dont want to end up pregnant and getting beaten in front of your kids and scarring their lifes as well as your own.
2007-03-28 03:18:23 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any relationship will have its ups & downs, but you have been married only 1 month and there is abuse,that is not a good marriage!! You should not stay with a guy who abuses you in any way!! sorry to this guy sounds like it is just a way for you to take him back so he can abuse you some more!!!!! GET OUT.... you deserve better. GOOD LUCK!!!!!
2007-03-28 03:03:02 · answer #9 · answered by ....~K.C.~.... 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't perfect all the time but it is a hell of a lot better than what you are talking about. If you won't leave him then you are only hurting yourself. If you will let him treat you this badly, I hope you don't decide to bring children into the world with this person. You need to believe that you deserve to be treated better, you need to know that you are a strong person, and that you are worth a lot more than that.
2007-03-28 02:58:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋