She crys if she is not held....she is a heavy baby and im very small and holding her all the time has already popped my hip outta place...but i cant stand to listen to her cry....any suggestions?
2007-03-28 02:44:07 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
The way you are feeling is natural. There is a very large group of us parents that feel the same way as you. It's called attachment parenting. Here's a couple of links describing it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_parenting
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130300.asp
I recommend a good sling or wrap. You'd be amazed how easy it is to carry your baby with it, and if you are wearing it right it doesn't hurt your back or shoulders. I don't recommend one of the backpack shaped carriers or a sling you could buy at Walmart or Target. They hurt. I can even carry my 3 year old on my hip with my sling, or I could make the same sling smaller and carry my newborn in it all in the same hour (my baby started in it at 6 days old).
2007-03-28 02:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by JordanB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old the baby is, but I can't disagree more with the answers saying that infants need to cry to learn to be independent. Human beings only learn to be independent when they feel security and trust in the world. When we're fearful and distrustful, and feel that we don't need anyone, that's not independent - that's cold and cynical - no way to live.
An infant can't do anything for themselves, and when they are alone, some babies feel very insecure. When my son was born prematurely, when he was finally able to come home from the hospital, I held him all the time - I used a carrier when I needed to be up and about, but mostly I just nested with him. We spent most of the days and nights cuddled together - not to mention that there's not much else with infants than feeding, sleeping, and changing diapers! The house was a mess, but was I happier spending the time with him than gazing at a well kept house!
Now, at 24, he's strong, independent, and well adjusted (and I do mean literally strong - he's a stunt man who's worked on films like Mission Impossible).
Hold your baby - sing to her, talk to her, cuddle her, take long naps together, and gaze lovingly into her eyes - the bond you'll create will be loving, trusting, and give her the security she needs when it is time to tackle the rest of the world. Right now, you're her world and she wants you - that's a good thing! Trust me, when you look back on your life and think about this time with your baby, you won't be wistfully wishing you had spent more time doing dishes or getting your nails done - you'll be wishing for more time holding your baby in your arms.
2007-03-28 03:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by nightngle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old is she? If she's younger than 3 months, you cannot let her "cry it out." Babies that young don't yet know self-soothing. Ignoring their crying at that age will only result in an even crabbier baby. (Not to mention make them feel like their parents don't care about them.) You cannot "spoil" a child younger than 3 months. If she's older than 3 months, though, she should be able to soothe herself when she's upset and shouldn't always need you to hold her. She'll cry at first, but after 3 months, she's old enough to be able to learn that Mommy loves her but can't always hold her.
2007-03-28 03:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will sounds crazy- but not only did I do the same thing, I did it till my son was 2. I hated to have him cry. I went to a psychologist (because I was soooooo tired!) and he said I needed to put him down so he could learn to self sooth- in other words- he needed to learn to handle his emotions and calm himself down.
I had to make him sleep in his own bed and he had to cry till he vomitted a few times(of corse I had to take him out of the crib, clean him and change his sheets) but after an hour and a half he fell asleep. I checked on him and he was ok. After a few nights of drama he was ok. I had to walk away when he stood at my feet and lifted his hands up and cried.
There is no easy way to do it. You just have to or you will start to feel more and more emotionally drained. Not too mention your hips cant take it!
2007-03-28 03:00:06 · answer #4 · answered by jeweledfruit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is good for the baby to cry. It helps build up her lungs. Also, a child will never learn independence if she is held everytime she cries.
2007-03-28 02:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by JORDAN 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depends on the age. If younger 6months and under, get a carrier/sling. If older, then try to make her more independent. But still to the carrier and sling, just less.
2007-03-28 02:47:39 · answer #6 · answered by lillilou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried putting her in a swing? A lot of babies are comforted by the swinging motion and are entertained with the toys/mobile.
2007-03-28 02:54:53 · answer #7 · answered by *Just Married* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she needs to cry and holding her all the time is going to hurt you again. she needs to know that you can't hold her all the time its hard to listen to them cry but what about if you can't walk cause your hip pops out again
2007-03-28 02:48:16 · answer #8 · answered by sunshiner26 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get the father 2 help you out, or if you're single hire a baby-sitter to help you. You could really use some rest!
2007-03-28 02:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by brookey cookie :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is crying because she knows you will pick her up .babies are not stupid. Leave to cry as long as there is nothing else wrong with her . She will soon learn
2007-03-28 02:50:51 · answer #10 · answered by Jan B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋