I have been invloved off and on, with a guy for the last 2 years. I have come to the conclusion after a long time that I for some reason have a fear of commitment. We get to a certain point and I put up a wall, but then I always want to be with him. Anyway, it took me 2 years to actually realize and admit this and I feel like a new person. However, he won't get back together with me right now because its just very hard for him, and I understand this. We are going to try to work through this though. My question is, has anyone experienced that? What happened?
2007-03-28 02:33:11 · 9 answers · asked by Kisses 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just wanted to add that I know I love him. Theres no question about that.....
2007-03-28 02:33:47 · update #1
Im not so much asking what to do but more looking for people who had the same issue and got through it
2007-03-28 02:40:48 · update #2
You are just getting scared of getting hurt.
You just have to put yourself out there or your going to end up losing your guy forever.
I know how hard it is, but you just have to open up.
I was scared of commitment after my first boyfriend but I finally opened up and now I have found the love of my life and we have been together for 2 years and plan on forever.
2007-03-28 02:37:37 · answer #1 · answered by chelseylauren2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a relationship with a commitment phobic man for almost three years now. There were more and more signs of it surfacing about a year and a half to two years into the relationship. I didn't know what was going on because I thought that things were going so well and then suddenly he was showing all kind of mixed feelings and actions - probably when he felt we were getting too close, too serious. I did a little research and found a book called "Men Who Can't Love" by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol. After reading this, I did have more of an understanding of things and surprised myself to find that I too and am a commitment phobic! This is why we are constantly pulling away and toward each other. To make things worse, we are both Gemini's - so it's like having four people in the relationship. ;) Anyway, you may want to read the book although it is geared toward commitment phobic men, it sure opened my eyes about my own actions and feelings.
2007-03-28 09:50:51 · answer #2 · answered by RebaB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way. I think maybe it has something to do with my dad leaving my mom and I when I was young. I have a fear that my bf will leave and so I put up a wall so I won't get hurt. I have no idea how to get over it. Things will be going great and then all of the sudden I back away. I hope things work out for you. Maybe if you set down and talk to your bf he will understand how you feel and be patient and help you through it. Good luck.
2007-03-28 09:39:59 · answer #3 · answered by noodles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always kept a wall up for my protection, it was only so close I would allow a guy to get but when I met my boyfriend I had to drop that wall in order for us to be together because he new I was holding back and I new I wanted to be with him and didn't want him to be with anyone else. So I dropped the wall. Which was the best thing I could have ever done. I new he was the one because I never allowed anyone to push me to that point.
2007-03-28 09:45:47 · answer #4 · answered by GoodGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fear is obviously just a feeling, but feelings are real. You have to try understand why u feel that way. Different ppl have had different experiences, so it's difficult to advice squarely.
Like I got my heart broken, and for three years havent dated yet. The other option I had was to go breaking girls hearts back, but I picked the first.
So find out why u're scared, search deep, and tell him. If it doesnt carry water, then like most ppl who're scared, do that one thing u're scared of, and see how it goes. U aint got nothin to fear, life's to be rocked... Alldabest.
2007-03-28 09:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by thecoookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i am going through that now as we speak. It is scary and difficult for me. Am up and down with my emotions. I am a bit intimidated by it all. So I know how you felt.
2007-03-28 09:42:33 · answer #6 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't get over your commitment issues it will never work. Maybe you should see a professional.
2007-03-28 09:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don know
simple. it's love that makes a marriage, not lust. also the worst thing is betrayal. wow....that was deep
2007-03-28 09:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may be all ruined like it never happen.
2007-03-28 09:37:24 · answer #9 · answered by Suchness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋