Sometimes we all feel down, and that we're not really appreciated. It is alright to tell your friend(s) that you're down, and were wondering if they could name a few things about you that they like and value. We all have down times, and it's not your fault or their fault. It's just a down time. Maybe you could do a few activities with your friends that require no one giving more than the other to help you see that your friends appreciate you more for who you are than what you can do for them. :) And if you do feel used, it is okay to start saying no when they ask you to do things. But watch how often you say no, or the tone you say it with, or they may start to think that you don't like them anymore. I wish you all the best! :)
2007-03-28 01:57:23
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answer #1
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answered by Kendra 5
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if you feel that you are being used or taken for granted, then you need to recheck your feelings about "expecting nothing in return".
sometimes, one person is the instigator and maintainer for a relationship. that role can become very tiresome if you feel that the relationship wouldn't continue if your efforts were to stop or be somehow diminished.
unequal friendships are part of life.
there will always be times in your life in which one person gives more than the other in any relationship, but if you are finding this to be a hard thing to take, then perhaps you need to back off and really look at how much you are doing for the other person in this equation.
you can have a feeling of love for someone even though you no longer wish to be "joined at the hip" with them.
as I have gotten older, I have come to realize that some people are simply not emotionally wired to be a reciprocal type. they will take all you are willing to give and then some but they just don't return the favor. that doesn't mean they don't care about you, it just means it isn't in them to SHOW how they feel by what they do for you.
and, there is every possibility that you have set yourself up as a doormat for them. you have made them so welcome in your life that there are no boundaries about just what you expect in a friend.
so, don't blame anyone.
just reassess and think about making some changes in the way you look for and support your friends.
Good luck!
2007-03-28 09:01:52
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answer #2
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answered by stonechic 6
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Have you ever heard the phrase 'No one can use you....unless YOU ALLOW them to'?
The thing is your friend may not realise how much she is taking you for granted because you never say no or you go out of your way all the time to do things for her.
Start being a little more assertive.....this doesn't mean being horrible, just have a phrase ready for when you're next expected to do something.
2007-03-28 08:56:10
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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I don't think it is anybody's fault. maybe your friend is taking things for granted as you are always the one doing things for them and expecting nothing return.
Personally I feel that you should not help them all out at certain times so that they will realised that they need to put in effort to do certain things and will not take things for granted
2007-03-28 10:16:45
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answer #4
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answered by Clown & Joker 5
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It's great that you don't expect anything in return when you do something nice for your friends. I think that attitude is to be admired.
The issue may be, that even if you feel like someone is taking advantage of you, you kind of let them, perhaps by not being able to say "sorry, I love you as a friend but I can't do xxxx for you".
You can be kind, you can do alot of things for your friend, but you don't have to lose yourself (your integrity, your moral compass) while you do so.
2007-03-28 09:07:57
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answer #5
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answered by Strawberry 2
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eki patta wesiyek wenna athi ban..uba owa ganan ganna epa..muta mewa threnneth na he he hee.... lol
2007-03-28 08:56:40
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answer #6
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answered by bonnyrox 2
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IF IT QUACKS LIKE A DUCK....... AND BY THE WAY, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS GO WITH YOUR GUT FEELING! GOOD LUCK.
2007-03-28 08:56:17
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answer #7
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answered by Anonymous
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i think its jus the way u c things!!
2007-03-28 08:55:23
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answer #8
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answered by Michigan hottay 1
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