What do you do when a friend steals your baby name?

Question

I told her my potential girl's name and now she is talking as though she is going to use it!!! My baby will be born first, so I can probably get away with still using it, but why would she do that?!??!?!

Answer 1

My best friend's wife stole our name. I think she convinced herself she thought of it. My brother's wife sister stole her sisters name she'd been waiting to use all her life.

It's an odd thing and pretty crappy.

By the way, I noticed your other question on the name Lucien. My name is Lucien and it's worked out very well. Yes I've been called Lucy in 3rd grade (not a big deal) and Lucifer as I was older....but it was always in jest and always and icebreaker with strangers. In fact, I love the name....I automatically have something to chat about with strangers as an adult. It's a tad harder (but not that much harder) as a kid to have a very unique name but around age 14 it begins to pay off in the sense that it makes you unique.

I don't know how many adults tell me they wish they had a cool name like mine.

Answer 2

Name your baby what you want to name your baby, and don't worry about whether she does or doesn't use the name also. All that matters is that *you* feel this is the name your baby should have.

If she's really a true friend, a heart-to-heart talk is a good idea. Tell her calmly and kindly that you will be naming your baby the name in question, regardless of whether she chooses that name or not, but that it's making you feel awkward about your friendship that she says she wants to use the name too. Tell her how important her friendship is to you, that you're looking forward so much to sharing your new motherhood with her, laughing and learning together, and would she consider that it would hurt your feelings for her to use that name. Chances are, after a heartfelt talk like that, a good friend is going to choose another name. ;)

If she uses it anyway, you know she's not your friend.

FWIW, I personally wouldn't be bothered much by this. I was actually in a similar situation and my friend named her daughter the same as mine. :shrug: No hurt feelings in our situation, though-- my daughter was already here, and friend got pregnant, always liked that name, and asked me if I'd think it was weird or copy-catting or whatever. I gave her my blessing, and now we both have two children actually with the same names (the other two were named before we ever met). Still, I can see why you would feel upset in your situation.

Answer 3

Well since your baby will be born first there shouldn't be much of a problem. She isn't much of a good friend if she wants to take the name that you chose first. She is likely to be a self-centered person and from now on don't tell her about something like that until you have done it. Maybe in a nice way you should just bring it up and find out why.
Congratulations.

Answer 4

First of all have you talked to her about your feelings, why dose she wnat her baby name same as yours, maybe she feels you two are this close and just thought that this would be something no one else had done before , or maybe she just really loves the name , but if you do not want her to use it , really talk to her about feelings and honesty best policy in friendship, so if you care for her as friend I would talk to het about it . If she is doing out spite then not true friend , if she had some other reason for thi syou to should talk it out, maybe help her find other ones , maybe she is haveing trouble finding one ? It can be any reason why she did this, so do not end friendship on this , but it would be kool to have best friend and we named kids same names , that would be unquie and something to talk about later down the road , and if the kids where close can you imgine how much fun they have with same name ?

Answer 5

My friend did this, too. She was pregnant first, and had a boy's name picked the whole time. So, I didn't have a problem sharing my 'someday' name too.

Imagine my surprise when we went to visit her after giving birth at the hospital, and she had named her boy Benjamin, MY NAME!

There was no misunderstanding, she knew just what she was doing.

I was shocked and surprise. I regret now, that I didn't address it with her. But, I guess, what was done, was done. At the time I guess I didn't see the point, and I might have appeared immature to make such a deal out of it.

It still boggles my mind to this day, and was a crappy thing for her to do. We were young, and I guess she was immature back then. We're not friends anymore (not because of that), and I have 3 children, and found wonderful names for them.

People just don't make sense sometimes!

Answer 6

Names are not zero-sum. People share names; in fact people are named after or with other people all the time.

So name your daughter the name you want and don't worry about your friend's daughter. If, 20 years down the road you two are still friends, you'll have a great story to share with your kids. If, on the other hand, you have gone separate ways, well, you won't have to live always wishing you had chosen a different name.

Answer 7

Believe it or not, one of my friends did this to another, and there were hurt feelings all around, then a third friend named her daughter the very same name! Now it's a group joke.

I have no idea why someone would do that. It seems creepy and mean-spirited to me. Don't let these people tell you not to be offended. I sure would be. I would not keep someone as a friend if they did that. If you point that out to her, she might come around.

Answer 8

One thing I have learned is that broads are jealous. The positive side is that it is a great compliment, my friend shows jealousy by scunching up her nose or holding it when I chose my kids name. Listen people are flawed and just be mature and poo poo it. I think she wants to scare you out of using the name she wants so that she will win. Because your baby will be born sooner, you win if you do not let her psyche you out of things. She will never copy the name believe me, she is a little more devious than that. Hug your challenging friend, she is keeping you from worrying about labor!!

Answer 9

I would just ask her if she's planning on using the name. Tell her that you wouldn't have told her your name if you knew that she was going to use it. That's so rude. When my mom was pregnant with my sister, she told a woman her name(Tatum). Not only did the woman use the first name, she used the middle too(Victoria)! I think it's tacky to use someones name, personally.I mean, unless you live nowhere near each other. No sense of originality. Let her have it if she wants it that bad, there are others.

Answer 10

Haven't you ever heard that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? Nobody "owns" any name. Seriously this idea that because someone thought of a name so nobody else can name their child that seems very childish and immature to me. Unless you made up the name yourself there's always a chance that someone out there has already used the name or will use the name in the future. If it really bothers you a lot find another name and don't tell anyone what it is before you give it. Best of luck.