My boyfriend of 9 years & i just broke up last month. the breakup was because of the distance, he claim that he can't feel me anymore. and recently i found out from a friend that he's already with a new girl... I'm so devastated... its so unfair... i barely live everyday because i'm depressed of the recent breakup and he can date again after just a month?? Why is it so easy for him?? We had a 9 years relationship, we almost got hitched... how come he can forget that 9 years of relationship in just barely over a month??
why love could hurt this much?? why love is never fair??
help me... i'm in a very sad state.
2007-03-28 01:09:27 · 42 answers · asked by fede 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
simply because he already had a new girlfriend before he dumped you!!get over him!!!he's not worth it!you can find a much better guy!
2007-04-01 16:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by shen tiao 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly honey. I've been there. It goes away after a while. Answers to your question about how he could do that. Only he could answer. But, You HAVE GOT TO MOVE ON. And trust me, if you keep sulking and feeling sorry for yourself, it will only prolong the pain. We cannot control what other ppl do think or feel. We pick a few we can connect with, when that connection is done, we move on. Were you looking for a lover when you found him? I doubt it.
Lose yourself in working out, and making yourself feel better. That will help you be attractive to others. And unload some of the frustrations you are feeling.
Good luck.. Keep smiling. You aren't the first one to be betrayed. And you will not be the last. Just be hopeful it is the last FOR you. GO GET LAID!!!! Take it ALL out on the next guy you do. Thats what helped me get along. Use protection.
2007-04-04 17:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by relintles1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that while your heart was with him although you physical was not, he was already heading out the door and had another gal lined up. (You didn't think he was going to leave you without making sure there was another warm bed waiting for you did you? That would have been the makings of a real man)
No one should be in a long distance relationship for so long. It just won't work and show signs that the relationship is playing second fiddle to something else) No one should have a relationship that last 9 years. If you over the age of 20, and the relationship has been on for 4 years it is time to decide to make it permanent or move on. (What are you going to do be "girlfriend" when you are 40?)
In your case time will heal you. In the meantime cry when you must (not in front of others please) crying releases endorphins that make you feel better. Remove all reminder of him and put them in a big box out of sight. Never ever communicate with him. Busy yourself with your true friends and pamper yourself.
Good Luck
2007-03-28 01:43:12 · answer #3 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For one thing you have to look at his side as well. He is probably feeling exactly the same way that you are. But if the two of you had a lot of distance between you and he was feeling shut out then you really can't blame him for moving on with his life. I feel that you should do the same. Their is know reason for you to feel depressed/devastated over this. Was the reason for the two of you being distant because of you.? Is that the reason why he had left? Because if it is then you should be use to being apart from him and you should be able to face life head on instead of feeling like you can't live through the day. If you had of shown him that you felt this way before instead of being distant with him I would say that you would still be with him today. A relationship is based on how both of you are feeling/wanting it is not only one-sided. You should have considered his feelings showed him your true love for him and tried to stay as close as possible instead of allowing whatever it was to distant the two of you.
Yes love hurts and loves unfair but a lot of the time we are the ones that will cause it to hurt & to be unfair.
Good Luck!
2007-04-04 03:00:36 · answer #4 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was able to move on also after 18 years of marriage. With me it was the fact that my marriage was over years before and I just never had the guts to walk out the door until I caught him sleeping with my cousin whom lived with us, (while I was sleeping in the other room). I'm not saying that is why it is easier for him, but my ex says he didn't have a clue that anything was wrong in our marriage. Part of the reason I left was because he didn't have a clue. Another reason could be that he really is hurting and doesn't know how to deal with it properly so he is taking in the first girl that paid attention to him. Maybe it is his inability to deal with the breakup and has nothing to do with being able to date right away.
2007-04-05 00:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by JUSTME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking from experience I was with a guy for 10 yrs. We broke up. Took me longer to get over then him. You will get through this it takes time. I know this is not the answer you want but you need some "me" time. Start doing stuff you like, go out, make new friends and keep your self occupied. Just so you know you will meet someone else. I am married and we were engaged after 1 yr and married a yr later. Don't stress.
2007-04-04 05:02:32 · answer #6 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love takes time to heal, dear... I know it doesn't seem fair, but that the way it is. I have an idea of what you are feeling right now, so, don't hold your feelings, cry as much that you want, scream, and take those feelings out of your system. You will feel better, I promise you. I cannot tell you why some people can be over soon and for some it takes more time, but you will see the sun shinning again. It only takes time. Meanwhile, try to remember what used to make you feel happy, the things that you enjoyed doing by yourself. Take courses, make exercise, work like crazy, keep busy. I hope you feel better soon, God bless u.
2007-03-28 01:44:28 · answer #7 · answered by marylapana 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
love gives us no guarantees, he already was seeing her way before the split, he had already moved on way before u knew it. he can forget it easily, because maybe he was never really in love in the first place. love isn't fair, and its always the one left that has to suffer the most, the one leaving doesn't suffer at all, because he is not the one hurting, he is happy for now. he has no character, or sense of right and wrong, u just didn't see it because he waited till he was sure of her before dumping u. you are better off although u don't know it yet. u will need friends to help u through this bad time, u won't be able to do it alone. life is never fair, and we may never understand why someone hurt us, we just have to accept it and look for a new life.
2007-03-28 01:43:27 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have been w/ my man for 4 years and It has been real easy And hard,
Every relationship has it's moments and I wish I could've got out sooner before I cheated.
Be lucky that didn't happened and. you will get over him
like he got over you?
Depression is normal but a man is a man.
some people are heartless and sounds like he is heartless
fool
"I got played in the past and married young" That is why ? I cheated/
Have fun being single and don't settle for less.
Settle for what is right!
LOVE is most important thing once you find that person to love and be LOVED back you will
forget about him.
Love isn't a choice you just feel it./
I wish you in the best state of mind.
2007-04-04 20:28:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. Love hurts. Love is never fair. Someone always loses in the end.
Take it from me, take each day one day at a time. You will have a range of emotions like a rollercoaster. Just go with the flow, talk to the people who you can depend on for support, and start going out with friends and family. You were not the one with the problem, he is. AND, do not blame yourself...that is the hardest thing for me, but I am working on it. Like the old saying goes...this too shall pass.
2007-03-28 05:10:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Therapy for starters. Especially if you are depressed. Secondly, there are other fish in the sea. I was in the same situation as you were many years ago. I had a boyfriend of 6 years. My high school sweetheart. Almost got hitched also, but I noticed how he was hanging around this one certain girl. He dumped me, and I was heartbroken. It took me several years to get over it, with therapy. It wasn't until I stopped looking for a guy to replace what I had lost, was when my current boyfriend of 8 1/2 years came into my life. 3 years it took. It was a long 3 years. But I had my family and my friends to help me through. Thing that hurt the most...is he ended up marrying the girl he was hanging all over.
Wish you the best of luck. But get therapy to atleast talk about your feelings. It helped me ..... big time.
2007-03-28 01:28:23 · answer #11 · answered by dolphins_fanatic 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋