Is it natural or just human nature to break the rules of monogamy?

Question

I know that if I had true feelings for someone I KNOW I would'nt cheat. Is it possible to find a partner with the same moral values? I believe Honesty, Loyalty and friendship are the key to a Lasting relationship. Does'nt seem like loyalty is an imprortant quality anymore...Are we just a pack of dogs in heat?

Answer 1

Yes,. society has gone to crap.... Mainstream media shoves sex in our faces and combine that with the breakdown of basic family morals etc, we continue to slide ever so further down....

(I must be the ultimate hypocrit though because....)

I am somewhat of a manwhore... although,... When in a serious relationship... Thats all she wrote... ther is no one else... for the reason that i wouldn't want them to cheat on me, so i would show the same respect to them by not cheating on them.

See,. theres nothig wrong with sex, in fact, its great,. as long as your responsible, and try to limit the crazy orgies to once a week.... But when you deal with someones feelings,. its a whole nother ball game

Most people (especially the younger ones) aren't mature enough (alhtough they think they are) to handle what a real relationship is, or to really believe and understand the values of a co dependancy...

some people grow up eventually, and thus are able to achieve the whole "true love" blah blah blah,.. while others never grow up or mature enough,. thus the whole 50% divorce rate, and all the sinlge parents out there, which then continues a vicous cycle of kids not getting raised wiht proper morales and down and down we go....

clear as mud?

Answer 2

The answer to human nature and the pack of dogs questions is no. The answer to the partner with same moral values is maybe. The possibility of you finding a preformatted person with the qualities you describe are not commonly packaged together. Contrary to your belief, the things you state are keys are attributes, while good in their own right are not sufficient to form the basis of the long term relationship. The only quality that will do that by itself is the committment shared in reaching the goals of life that takes two committed well diciplined people that are willing to support one another and help them through places of difficulty unconditionally and without expectation of return, in order to maintain the partnership to a successful conclusion. Honesty, loyalty and friendship will make the journey more pleasant and ease the burden of imbalance in the relationship should one arise. If the level of committment is not the same or changes in intensity, the adversity of mistake or the victim of those who would strive to take or queer your quest will prove to be more than the good things can prevent. The unfair and unequal circumstances that will present themselves to test the strength of your bond. Some may be out of your control and when the partner doesn't have the committment to weather the adversity one or the other will find the support of their partner, gone and alone will change their belief and erosion will give the honesty, loyalty and friendship brand new value and soon your belief will be after intense efforts with not notable progress, none of the qualities will be important and the goals that you had are still the same distance away. Adversity at that point will begin to decay your struggle by yourself and the belief that you will rise above them and out of nowhere you will be charged with energy renewed strength. That is the first sign that human nature is setting in. The rules of monogamy only apply to the members that believe in the concept and have given value to the practice of the belief. Monogamy just like any other quality or practice that is deemed to be valuable is only as good as the belief in the practice so long as the benefits outweigh the practice of anything else that would have a positive payback valuable enough to continue observing the guidelines or rules. Reality is in contrast to the perfect world scenario, you will never find a partner that is everything you want and that realization begins the process of decay and acceptance of the best you can find. When you dream, start big, and maybe by the time you finish accepting what you have it will be closer to the goals you have set. Keep all the special qualities you have but be careful how you use them and who you share them with as sharing witht he wrong person will change those qualities into empty belief that can be used for nothing and provides no value or support to anything you do. They are out in the real world and they look just like everyone else. They give the impression that they have the same qualities but truth is they will steal from you what you possess before you can stop them. Once gone you will ask the same question again but it will only be the last one, Are we just a pack of dogs in heat?

Answer 3

I think that it is possible to for two people to be honest and commited to only each other. To have a long lasting loving, sexual monogamous relationship. I am not saying you'll never be attracted to another person but you never have to act on that attraction. Love is a beautiful thing when shared with one special person.
I think tv and movies have to always show more dramatic effect so there is always someone cheating or divorcing. There can never be a loving relationship depicted on primetime. Scandals are always most popular on tabloids too. No one wants to hear about some being married for 10/20/30 years. They want to hear about someones miss fortunes.
Also I think its too easy to get out marriages. Its far to easy to get married or divorced. Not that there should be rules or regulations on either but people shouldn't quit on things so easy. Life now seem to be such an instant gratification society. Especially in the United States.

Answer 4

I truely believe that monogomy is not a natural state for humans. In animals that mte for life, they generally do not take another mate ever if something happens, while humans remarry. Also, for a species that takes so long to produce young, and generally only a single offspring at that, it would have taken a lot of pairings to get the human race going and able to sustain our spread across the planet.

That being said, I believe that for most humans, monagamy is the answer emotionally as well as in issues of safety and healthy. BUT it is important to know that even in a relationship of mutual adoration and commitment, it is perfectly normal to have "crushes" on other people. Just because a partner has a crush on another person does not mean he/she is cheating, will cheat, has cheated. It means his/her natural programming has kicked in. And just because you are madly in love with your husband but find yourself looking at the AC repair guy doesn't mean your marriage is in trouble. It means you're human.

Answer 5

I firmly believe in Freud's "iceberg" diagram.
Your "id" is your raw, animal instincts. You want to screw people, steal things, gratify yourself. The id is totally selfish.
Your "super-ego" is your sense of right and wrong. It is your conscious - your moral guide.
Your "ego" tries to keep the two happy and mediate between them.
EVERYONE has urges. I don't believe people when they say they never do. I think they say that because they think people will think poorly of them if they admit it. It's OK to have them.
(almost) everyone knows what's right and wrong, as well....
What seperates good people from bad people is how their ego mediates. If your ego is weak and ignores the super ego in favor of the id, you will lie, cheat, pig out on ice cream etc.
So yes, we are all dogs in heat. Some of us control it better than others.

Answer 6

I think it is a built in thing amongst men - they are programmed to sow their oats. Some people just find the idea of commiting to one person scary or boring so they cheat at every oppertunity they get. Fortunately there are men out there that share your values - just keep looking

Answer 7

values like that are quickly becoming rare in our world. sounds like youre much deeper then a lot of people, but rest assured that there are others out there that share the same morals and ideals. it just takes time to find one, trust me ive been looking for a while now.

Answer 8

Dogs in heat.

Answer 9

a dog will always be loyal... :)