I ended my relationship of 5 years due to him binge drinking. I am still there as a friend and love him dearly, but he has these binges on whisky, 4 litres in 3 days which have changed him so much. He is only 28 and such a talented artist, but he has knocked teeth out, has spider veins on his cheeks and has lost stones in weight despite me taking him food. It is breaking my heart. He is going to AA but says that he has lost two best friends, me and the alcohol and it is torturing him never to drink again. What can I do here to get him back to the man I loved??
2007-03-27 23:40:25 · 9 answers · asked by Abigail 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are enabling him. You have stayed as a friend and you bring him food. You need to let him know that you care about him but that you will not sit by and watch him do this to himself anymore and mean it. Move on and let him hit his own bottom. It is hard especially if you love him but sitting by and watching an alcoholic struggle through life is even harder.
2007-03-28 00:24:46 · answer #1 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alcholism is such a crap obsession to have... i fukken hate the stuff, and the sad truth is not many pull out of it... AA is not gonna help him unless he wants to stop,which from what you told me he obviously doesnt... hes going to affect your future relationships with his problems,trust me i know exactly what im talking about i come from a long line of alcholics i decided to draw the line cause it messed my life up even though i wasnt the one drinking. If he really wants you back as a friend he must put the drink down. which he will agree to at first but in during that time he drinks again.. just leave him and dont feel guilty,cause what he is doing to you is very unfair and shows he doesnt give a **** about you,sorry reality is harsh but its the truth. I wish you the best of luck and i really hope that you take my advice
2007-03-28 06:50:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a recovering alcoholic myself. I can say that bottle was the best friend for many years and one marriage ago.The best and only thing to do is to give him some tough love. Make him choose between the bottle and you. If he is still choosing the bottle then get out of his life and have no further contact until he is sober for a year. If you don't like my answer go to an AA meting yourself and ask them what to do. I think you will be surprised.
2007-03-28 06:58:15 · answer #3 · answered by Atheist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AA has support for you too ask them about it they will give you advice on what to do
sorry to hear about this & he needs to
know that it takes time to get over the
addiction
2007-03-28 06:54:17 · answer #4 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact the nearest chapter of Al-Anon. You can't force him to go to AA. But you can get help and support for yourself.
2007-03-28 06:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to get back together, tell him he has to prove himself before you will even consider going back to him. Every choice he makes concerning himself and his life are entirely up to him.
2007-03-28 07:28:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
till he says he has a problem and means it, you can do nothing but support him, even AA wont help till he says he has a problem, he can go to meeting but nothing will happen and he will still drink, he has to want to help himeself
2007-03-28 06:47:37 · answer #7 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't unless HE decides he wants to help himself...and it sure doesn't sound like he does. I would distance myself from this man...he can only bring you down, and you can only do so much for someone.
2007-03-28 07:21:32 · answer #8 · answered by Cinna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time and support
2007-03-28 06:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋