he needs time?

Question

My boyfriend told me 2 days ago that he is not happy in our relationship and he said he does not feel so motivated and enthusiastic anymore.. he has been really down about his job these days, looking for a new one.. almost all interviewers told him he is not accepted.. I pushed him I guess by my neediness as he has become distant with me..

he told me that he needs time to think and he will call me later this week to talk about this. please tell me what should I do? Why does he need time to think?

Answer 1

Time? He needs a smack!
No, have some patience and let him think. It sounds like he's being honest, and could do with a little support, not pressure.

Answer 2

He either really needs time (and I suspect this is the case) to work things out in his head during this difficult time, or he's looking for a way out of the relationship.

Either way, the answer is to give him time and space. Let him come back to you (or not). Don't smother him right now, it's very common that when men have a really difficult crisis they like to be alone. Women on the other hend like to talk things out... that works great for women but terrible for men. He needs his 'alone time' to get through this.

As far as the possibility he is stalling and wants out of the relationship, I don't really believe that's the case at all. It's a very distant possibility, so don't let it worry you overmuch.

Answer 3

He is vulnerable....He has a lot of pressure on him to find a new job and to get his life in order, the pressures a woman puts on you on top of all this at a difficult time in his life isnt easy and would push him away. It does seem odd though that he needs "time to think"....To me that sounds like a cop out from him to you- youre already dating and it sounds like he might just be looking to end the relationship. I suggest you take the initiative and call him and sort it out one way or the other....At least that way you know where you stand and you wont be so worried waiting for his call.

Answer 4

I am going through the same situation as you, my very recent ex boyfriend said that he was not happy with our rel, he felt that there was something missing
He said to me that he needed to take time out to think about this and find whats missing,
Well i said no to that because he was going on his holiday with his mates 3 days later,
we finished it,
but everyday since he has text me daily and he has even said that he has found what is missing but he still wont tell me what it is
I am hoping that we are going to sort things out when he gets back from holiday

I would just give him the time that he has asked for and wait for him to come back to you when he is ready
He must want to as he has not finished it with you

I wish you luck as i feel that i need luck as well
i will be keeping my fingers crossed for you

Answer 5

Boyfriend is being honest, something every paper-lace heart girl dreams of getting: he doesn't want to allow you to sink into his depressive problem. One can hope he's not giving up the challenge of finding better work; something that makes him happy doing.

Neediness??? Clingly and/or bitchy women can drive any man away faster than the hottest NASCAR racer: need more be said?

I say give the guy his space to chill, find his focus on getting a better job. Maybe quietly, you can go on the hunt--helping him find promising work in the meantime? He'll call ya when he's better.

Answer 6

It sounds like he is really stressed out. Best thing to do is keep calm and give him the space he wants. If its meant to be he will come back. Just have faith, you have been together for two years so he must love you. You just need to be supportive of what he is going through, and put yourself in his shoes.

I wouldn't worry to much to be honest, at least he is thinking things through which is a good sign and no decisions have been made.

Let us know how you get on, good luck but don't think you will need it xxx

Answer 7

Your b/friend is feeling like a failiure at the moment and although he should not be taking out on you sometimes its just the way it is.
I would give him the time out that he asked for, if he really loves you he will come back when he is god and ready.....the longer you dont speak to him or call him the better for you, trust me.

Good luck,you will be fine.

Answer 8

if he says that he wants time then give him time. take some time off and try to do something for yourself. maybe he needs to rethink the relasionship. tell him that he can think all he wants. in the meangwile go out with your friends and have some fun.if he doesnot want you in your life, you cannot force him to be. you cannot force anyone to love you. just lay low for sometime and let him come to you. violet, life is like a movie, you never know what will happen if you dont see the ending. lay low for sometime and see what happens.be patient my love, we have all been there.

Answer 9

i've just been through this exact thing with my ex girlfriend, job and all... i'l tell you from my point of view i used to date her and we got back together some months later. when we were i realized i didn't want to be there(relationship) anymore. i distanced myself so the break up didn't come as to much of a shock and then told her, she became very needy during this period which irritated me more, if he wants space give it to him... but it dont look to good-hope it works out though.

Answer 10

violet why is it your fault?your neediness?, he is the one with the problems huni and not you. .. sometimes its hard not to let our jobs etc get in the way of relationships but it happens, however just because he's pissed of with his job and job prospects, he shouldnt be be taking it out on you or your relationship, give him his space, if he comes back to you then he cant turn around later and say you forced him too, if he tells you its over then its gunna hurt, i dont mean to sound harsh coz i've been there with the 'i need space line' and then been hurt..but you will get over him x

Answer 11

honestly you are obsessed.. every day there is a new question from you about the same thing.. you have scared him off probably...little children ask the same thing over and over expecting a different answer if they ask it enough times. this relationship is bad for you..why do you want ot be in it, never mind why doesnt he..wheres your self respect..if he wants you he will come running..my advise is dump him he is not interested in you and to be honest im not suprised.