Im 22 years old,married,i have a 9 month old daughter,and right now im 3 months pregnant.My husband cheated on me less than two months after i gave birth to my first child.at those times we thought about getting a divorce.I hated him so much when i found out that he cheated on me,i wanted to forgive him,and just let it go,but there's way too much things that had been said and done.that makes me hate him more and more everyday.
Im not a U.S citizen,i still done have my green card..So everytime were arguing about something his always threatening me..that he would send me back to the phillippines with out my daughter..there are times that his even trying to hit me..
All i wanna do is to get out of this marriage,as soon as i can,im so not happy,i can't even remember the day that i was happy since i got married.I'm not a perfect person.
Im still depressed,about the things that had happened...pls anyone tell me want can i do to forgive him,and deal with my depression
thank you,
alex
2007-03-27 21:38:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is a disconnect between your question and your comments. You ask how can I forgive him ... and then talk mostly about divorce. What do you really want?? Answer that ... and you'll probably take care of the depression.
Then act on your decision ... now, everything is up to you. Get some support as soon as possible.
2007-03-27 22:56:03 · answer #1 · answered by Sultan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are you gonna forgive him? You don't need to forgive him right away he says sorry to you. Yes, you can accept the apology. Forgiveness is a different matter to begin with because it is a process. Even if you don't have that green card yet that doesn't give him the right to trample on you.
There's always an easy way out dear to every problematic situation. Its what you choose that matters. Its either you work it out with him by getting a professional help or file a divorce and be brave for whatever repercussions that may come after it. About your depression, you can always talk to your friends or relatives about it. It is always good that we get to vent out any kind of feelings that we have inside. Tell them that they don't need or obligated to say anything but just listen to you. If they are still out of reach its time that you also get a professional help for yourself. Remember, there are 2 more lives that depends on you. You have your 9 month old daughter and the one that is still waiting to be born. Take care of yourself and be safe. God Bless!
2007-03-27 21:54:42 · answer #2 · answered by aznchubgirl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling is the way to go. You have many different issues going on here. Concern over your marriage, trust, Green Card issues, child and pregnancy. You need professional help, and he does too.
You probably don't even realize that you may be treating him differently. You have serious trust issues with him. A professional marriage counselor may help you sift through some of these issues and help you to decide what is best.
I truly feel so sorry for you and your situation. My wife cheated on me too. After thirteen years of marriage, she was not the same person I married. After two children, her loosing her job, her purchasing a business that led to bankruptcy, she decided she didn't love me anymore and began an affair.
I didn't want a divorce but our marriage ended that way. I too was clinically depressed and in the end I'm so glad she ended the marriage. You need to speak with someone about your depression too. Tell your doctor about your situation so he/she can refer you to a professional. I was helped with medication and strongly recommend it with your doctor's approval.
Being mentally sick as a result of depression can be fixed. Taking medication for this illness is just like taking medication for any other illness. Your pregnancy might make things trickier, however, consult a professional.
I hope and pray that God will give you the stregnth during this time in your life. Be strong for your children and remember they are a gift from God. They deserve you!
2007-03-27 22:03:49 · answer #3 · answered by Steven A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find out your rights, go to legal aid some towns have this. I couldn't stay with someone who threatenend me like that no wonder you are depressed. The way to deal with depression is to get rid of the creep. He shouldn't threaten you. I don't know if you believe in prayer but I do. and if I were you I would be praying alot. Sorry you are so unhappy.I hope something changes for you soon. If you really want to forgive him God will help you. But you say you want out of the marriage. So take steps and get out. If he is a citizen and you are married to him he can't have you deported that doesn't sound right. Talk to a lawyer.
2007-03-27 21:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by beatch38 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! What a complete bastard your husband is.
I don't know what the laws are in America but you should seek legal advice (although your bastard husband no doubt holds your to ransom financially as well as threatening to have you deported).
If he EVER hits you, go STRAIGHT TO THE POLICE and the HOSPITAL and PRESS CHARGES. Then you have proof that he abused you and that's grounds for divorce. Maybe then you may be able to stay in the US?
You really need to speak to a lawyer.
And he does NOT deserve your forgiveness. That man is a bastard, pure and simple. I know it's hard when you have babies to think of, but if he's willing to do this to you, he will more than likely abuse your children as well. Be strong for them.
If you ever get through this, put his photo on www.dontdatehimgirl.com --> he deserves it.
You're in my prayers, God bless. (If you ever feel lonely, talk to God, He will hear you).
2007-03-27 21:45:44 · answer #5 · answered by Rachella 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Forgive him. Yeah right. file for a separation, go back to to the Philippines with your daughter and stay with your parents. Sound like you married not for love but to come to the US and we don't appreciate that to much. Leave and you won't be depressed. Simple as that.
2007-03-28 01:48:31 · answer #6 · answered by steinerrw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to:
1. Change Your language
2. Focus on a better future
3. Stop blaming yourself
4. Stop telling yourself you are a failure
5. Have a safe moment every day
6. Have a fun moment every day
7. Get reading
I recomend you to read the complete article I had found at:
http://easyunderstand.com/depression/34603.php
2007-03-28 09:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by Jason C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello,i am very sorry to hear about what happend to you.
well,about your husband i don't think he's gonna change and i don't think this marrige is ever gonna work.maybe your husband think that you marry hem just for green card and maybe that is why he,when you arguing he is telling you about that.or olso he is just takeing advantege of the thing that you dont have the green card and he is useing you how he want and he think that you will never leave him.
i think is the best to talk with one lowyer and to see what are your rights.i don't know the american low.good luck and be careful with yourself and your child
2007-03-27 23:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by iulia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go for legal aid.. Since your daughter is born in USA, you have a right to stay there.. Your husband need to be kicked out.
Plan everything.. Get a job, be independant and move on with your life..
2007-03-27 21:44:04 · answer #9 · answered by AdultMale 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old is your husband? Face him upfront and ask him why he is cheating on you. Get an answer from him. If he feels bad and apologetic, forgive him, but remind him not to do it again.
Mark
2007-03-27 22:08:31 · answer #10 · answered by Mark 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋