We have had problems thru our years of marriage with his not being honest with me and his infidelity.We have been to marriage counseling and couples counseling.I thought things were getting better.I feel like he is hiding things from me.
2007-03-27 20:33:20 · 20 answers · asked by nativewoman006 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I doubt this opening of a savings account is a major problem for you. It sounds like its a bunch of other issues in your marriage and this opening of an account is just another one on the list. Instead of focusing on this one isolated problem, you may want to take a look at your marriage as a whole.
In a perfect world, a husband and wife would share everything with one another. But we live in a imperfect world, so thats rarely the case. It doesn't necessarily imply one is being deceitful but, you have to ask yourself if this is an isolated incident or just one of many. Sounds like the latter.
2007-03-27 20:48:29 · answer #1 · answered by Willy Wonka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ordinarily I'd say it would be weird to be upset over a savings account being opened, but if there are infidelities in his history then I don't it's unfair that you would be untrusting.
Still, going with your description that things were 'getting better', I wouldn't recommend getting upset (actually I never recommend anger; it never helps and often hurts).
Are you afraid he's trying to hide money from you? Don't see how that would be possible with a savings account unless you're not aware of the finances...
He may just be trying to be financially responsible. Opening a savings account isn't necessarily a bad thing - in fact it can be a wise decision. If it's only in his name and you can't touch it, then maybe you'd have some cause for concern.
If he is hiding this from you, how did you find out about it? If it's something he told you about, then he's not hiding anything and it is really weird to get mad at him about it unless you're just looking for a reason to vent some of your anger at him for his previous infidelities.
On the other hand, if he actively hid this from you, then you definitely have something to be concerned about.
2007-03-28 04:30:42 · answer #2 · answered by Jon S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually he's done the smart thing and you should open up an account of your own. The rule of security is when you marry or are in a committed relationship and you agree to share financial responsibility have the joint account but also have your own with just your name and if a person has a problem with that then you should rethink getting involved in that way. There is a control issue involved and also no one should EVER be dependent on anyone like that. If you don't want to tell then don't tell. That person has nothing to do with the other account anyway.
2007-03-28 03:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have so many female friends who have a "secret" account. It's used to buy things for themselves that their husbands do not need to know about. I believe that EVERYONE should have a plan B, so, ask yourself if your marriage is happy. If you guys have a great marriage and no signs of betrayel then let it go. Get your own account. If you have a marriage that is rocky and unhappy, then prepare yourself. Bottom line.....secret accounts arent heard of.
2007-03-28 03:46:12 · answer #4 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had done this but my reason was to save for another diamond ring for an anniversary. It sounds to me like he may have a plan to leave you and is trying to save money for a divorce lawyer? Or he is just putting money aside to take you on a vacation either way confront him about it and hopefully you get a honest response from him.
God Bless and Good Luck.
2007-03-28 03:55:35 · answer #5 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bit off the topic, but....you should keep some money of your own ...separate from the combined funds. The marriage sounds as if it's taking on water. He might be stockpiling in order to make his escape. You need to cover yourself just in case.
2007-03-28 04:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by slipstreamer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know you have the right it was deceitful but, it isn't illegal or even immoral i believe. Are you eating? are you comfortable? I met a woman once who had to give her husband all of her pay! a lovely young wife, and he wouldn't even put her name on their own house. She still kept her trust in Jesus, not man. So let him have his little bank account--
if it makes him feel so secure and manly--just be nice, rise above it, i think he wants to feel as if he is in charge of something, like there is something no-one else can take power of --just him.
be glad its only $ and not another wife-eh? no, it does not mean the end of your marraige, be wise, but just tell him 'ok so you have your own acct. feel better now?'
seriously, play along with it, focus on other things. I would be ticked off at my husband too [of over 21 yrs.] but if he did it--I wouldn't have a stroke over it, life is too short.
2007-03-28 03:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forget about the other things in your marriage. He has the right to open a savings account not known to you maybe because he feels insecure about you as you feel about him. The savings account might be for himself or even might be as a backup account for both of you which he wants to remain untouched unless emergency
2007-03-28 03:36:47 · answer #8 · answered by TheFinalMiracle 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Sounds to me like he is setting himself up to leave u!
Be careful girlfriend hubbys can be sneaky!
And with what u have said, their could be a sugar momma
behind this guy, pushing him to do things! U are right to be
questioning something that doesn't feel just right!
2007-03-28 03:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by Nanniekc 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If I was you i would get ready for a divorce because if he isnt going to file your going to need to. It sounds like you should have filed long ago.
2007-03-28 03:40:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋