Well, I meet this girl some time ago... I was very attracted to her. She is gorgeous!!! But for some reason she couldn't stand me. I didn't know why I'm a nice guy. Anyway, we ended up sharing a condo together. So even though I didn't like her and she me, we deiced to stay on our side of the condo and if not necessary talk to each other. It's been about six months and we hardly ever get along. She acts very much like a *****! Getting mad over stupid little things. Long story short, I woke up last night cause I thought I heard something. It was coming from in her room. I knew it wasn’t a guy; she doesn’t have a boyfriend for some insane reason. I knocked on the door. There was no answer. I went in. She was curled up in bed having a nightmare, sobbing, and pushing at the sheets as if it were something or someone trying to harm her. I tried to wake her up, but this only made things worse. She began clawing at me and sobbing really badly, over and over, “ No, don-’t, don’t…Ple-ase I’m so so-rry, don’t ple-ase!” I gathered her up in my arms and tried to calm her down. She was burning up with fever! Her heart was pounding hard against my chest. Her eyes were huge, confused, and very frightened. It was very weird seeing her like this. She put me through hell and I should have walked away. But I couldn’t. She cried for over an hour as I held her, stroking her back and hair. When she finally stopped, she called my name as if confused, and said, “ Don’t leave me. I didn’t want him to hurt me again, I just didn’t want him to…”She buried her face in the side of my neck and started to cry again until she fell asleep. I don’t know how to ask her who hurt her, how, and when, without making her cry. How should I go abut it??? Should I even ask her???
2007-03-27 20:07:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I would say just go to her and ask her.. Most women are very straight forward and won't answer a question if they really don't want to. It was great of you to be with her and try to console her during this ordeal. I would tell her when I asked her what she was so scared about, that sometimes it helps to talk about these things. If it was just a dream then getting it out in the open can help her move past the dream. And, if it was an actual event that she is re-living through a dream then off to help her with whatever you feel comfortable helping her with.. But most of all be her shoulder of strength.. Women really love that.
2007-03-27 20:15:14 · answer #1 · answered by Mandy R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were in the situation that you find yourself facing I would not ask her. Even though you all have not been getting along you were able to be there for her during a very vulnerable part of her life. I would just continue to be there for her, and who knows she may just open up and tell you. From this moment on you all my grow close and she may feel just that comfortable opening up to you. But at this time it is probably a very sensitive issue and subject for her. I would just keep on doing what you are doing and continuing to be there for her. You seem like a nice guy and that was a really nice thing that you did for her. Just continue to be you and see what happens from here.
2007-03-27 20:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by Nesha L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i individually consider that women must commonly ask boys out, simply reason i'm a man and dont have the center to invite them out myself. But i consider why some of the men are fearful approximately asking is approximately what unusual rumours might be round as quickly as he asks. Sometimes it is helping if the woman asks, it'll supply the boy a bit of vanity.
2016-09-05 18:37:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask.
When you see her again, just ask if she is doing okay now, but dont ask for details. If she wants to share them she will when she is ready. She may be keeping you at a distance for exactly the same reason as her nightmare!
If you want to be able to help her, don't ask. Just be ready for her when she wants to talk. You can always say "you ever need an ear, I am impartial" and leave it at that.
Sounds like she is in a bad way. You were good to be a shoulder for her. But don't bring it up, she is already going to be uncomfortable and embarrassed at what happened. If you leave it alone, she will be more likely to open up to you when she is ready. And more likely to turn to you because you did not push the issue.
2007-03-27 20:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by Chali 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you guys ever talk normally. Make up some bull ....t story about when you were a teen or younger, 3 punks were beating you.
And how you were begging them to stop and fighting back, defending yourself. and say I still to this day have dreams once in a blue moon about it and freak out. Bait her, 1st start by talking about how some teens can be mean. Or remember when??.........
don't just pop the question out of the Blue. And may she will say something about how she got beat once or more. Or say did you ever have any screwed up teen, young kid experience that you can't forget?
I hope this helps, good luck. who knows you guys might become friends or more.
2007-03-27 20:24:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be a friend. Sounds like she been through a lot. Dont be pushy, She has been thru abuse. Maybe has tramatic stress disorder. You were wonderful to care like that Tell her when you get ready to talk about what hurts you so bad iwill be here for you and take things very slow and easy.
2007-04-02 15:55:03 · answer #6 · answered by tennessee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to have her more as a friend and try to get her confidence perhaps was something to do with her childhood or even an ex-boyfriend but unless she feels safe with you she wont tell you I think if you care about her you should give her some more friends attention. You never know....
2007-03-27 20:21:51 · answer #7 · answered by Aniux 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously something in her past has her having nightmares. If she remembers you were there for her, ask her, but if she refuses, that's ok. Just let her know if she ever wants to talk about it, you will be there to listen. Be her friend not a psychiatrist.
2007-04-04 19:55:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's supressing something. Ask her straight out. If she doesn't want to tell you, just be supportive and try to talk to her about seeing someone to talk to. Best thing is to be there for her as she sounds like she's going to need her friends. Good luck - Cheers.
2007-03-27 20:18:06 · answer #9 · answered by Bella-El 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let it go. Obviously it' sver traumatic for her. If she wants to talk about it with you, she will when she's ready.
Asking could bring back the trauma all over again.
2007-04-04 10:59:18 · answer #10 · answered by Mia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋