or else he would leave you, would it be wrong to lose all that weight and divorce him instead and never look back? I mean, if he was horrible and cruel to you. And constantly criticized you everytime you ate anything. But then after you lost all that weight, started being nice and romantic again.
2007-03-27 19:58:36 · 17 answers · asked by The Devil 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He sounds like a dic k. No it would not be wrong.
2007-03-27 20:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How good can you feel about yourself if you're not taking care of your body?
I'd say lose the weight for yourself. Not for revenge against your husband.
I see women on here all the time who feel betrayed because their husband promised them one thing when they got married and then did something else. In a way, getting married and then letting yourself go (not saying that's what you did here, just commenting in general) is very much a similar betrayal. The woman changes her whole personality and becomes someone other than the woman the husband married.
Now if he's horrible and cruel to you, that's a different matter. That speaks of a failing marriage. Either he's not a nice person at all but a bit of a bastard, or unspoken in your question is that you are also cruel and horrible to him, and the two of you go back and forth.
If he's truly a bastard, then yeah you should get rid of him (unless there are kids, in which case their interests should be of ultimate importance and you should judge whether to divorce or not based on them). If it really is a back and forth thing between both of you, then try and work it out.
Either way, lose the weight for yourself. You owe yourself more out of life than to jeaprodize your health and your self esteem by not taking care of your body.
2007-03-28 04:58:09 · answer #2 · answered by Jon S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of indignant ****. Is that to say!!! He apparently never loved you. And is very shallow. And very selfish. Tell him to kick rocks! He married you. For better or worse. He is abusive to you. In a verbal sense. Eventually he will start to exude. Other signs of abusiveness. If he hasn't already. Most of all think about your child. He or she shouldn't be subjected to that. I experienced this. With an ex fiancee' of mine. I pretty much lost the weight. Yet it wasn't for him. And he was a few months out of the picture. When I was lookin all delectible. Re-evaluate the situation. If you want to leave him. Then do just that. And don't look back. You have to look out for you.
2007-03-28 03:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by andelagdn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband and he can be frank. If he was your boyfriend, he would have put it delicately.
What are you going to do after you are divorced? If your husband who knows all about you wants you to just lose a little weight by pressurising you, then what about any other man who you would want to come into your life? They will stop just at your weight and never look back.
Come on. No one would want to marry a very overweight person. Plus it is good for your health to lose weight else you will end up with a lot of health problems.
Just be a good sport and reduce a little. After all it is your husband who needs to keep looking at you and not you.
I have the same problem but it is my attitude that doesnt make me take it seriously. Because my husband is telling me the fact that i am overweight and i need to change. But he doesnt pick on me, and he is the one who gets me all the good food because he loves me.
Sometimes after years of saying politely, only rudeness will work for people like us. Else we will never get around to doing it. You can eat well if you exercise vigorously every day.
2007-03-28 04:30:01 · answer #4 · answered by Star of the Sea 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he is that insecure with himself, then he needs some major counseling.
Do you still love him and does he love you like when you first got married and were enjoying each other then?
If he has so many problems with your weight then he should learn to be encouraging instead of discouraging. He sounds like he has problems of insecurity of his own. Just because you have gained some weight during pregnancy he should not be expecting you to lose it right away. Does he do all-- ALL -- the chores around the house, caring for your baby, doing laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, etc. If he is not picking up his weight around the house then he needs to smarten up and stop being such a hypocrite.
Have you become morbidly obese that you can not walk or get out of bed? If so maybe you need to get on a good diet and exercise program. But I highly doubt that is what is going on here. Like I mentioned, it sounds like he has a lot of hangups and insecurities. If you truly love him and want to be with him for the rest of your life then you should get him to some counseling. RIGHT AWAY!!
Good Luck!
2007-03-28 03:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by Leafs Rule! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He communicated it badly, but it sounds like your weight and appearance are very important to him at some level and are important to his feeling comfortable being romantic with you.
You should look at this two ways (ignoring for a moment his ineptitude at communicating):
First, if you can maintain the initial weight and general appearance, things will likely go well and you don't really risk him leaving.
Second, weight/appearance are deal-breakers in your relationship and if you can't or won't maintain you are probably better served in biding your time until you can set yourself up employment-wise and financially, divorcing, and finding someone who tolerates what your appearance will be when you are "comfortable".
That's about it.
At least he was clear about it...
2007-03-28 03:13:55 · answer #6 · answered by Deathbunny 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would make me feel like he didn't love me for me. It would make me wonder "if I were in a car accident and had some kind of handicap would he still be with me"? LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL.
Men are dumb: He may actually think being hard on you is/was helping you. Without even being aware that he was hurting you.
Either way, you need to do some soul searching and figure out if he's worth it.
2007-03-28 03:25:02 · answer #7 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am confused why you would leave. He's a jerk, yes, but by doing what the jerk demands, you are not any better than him...You deserve each other. Funny he's a jerk for making you loose the weight, but now you see WHY he wanted you to, you like it too, NOW you want to take it to the streets - wow. You 2 finally agree on something, things look better for everyone, and you want revenge - something tells me you were never the sweet innocent angel face you want us to believe.
2007-03-28 03:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will never understand this one.. I hear it alot. If he did not marry you because he was in love with you the person fat or thin he needs to go!!! I gained a total of 40 pounds between all three of my pregnancies. If y hubby would have acted like that I would have showed him the door.
2007-03-28 07:13:38 · answer #9 · answered by pat1268 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is ok to tell you to lose the weight but not in the way he does...it's not nice and it's look like he don't really love you.
LOVE is not just when everything is perfect.we have sometimes bad days or we dont fell that we look beautiful or we are sick,well in this kind of moments we can see if our husbands (partners in life)they really love us.
maybe in his mind is not to hurt you,maybe he think that, that is the best way to tell you ,to convince you that is better if you lose that weight.some people dont know how to express themselfs
2007-03-28 08:02:29 · answer #10 · answered by iulia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you found an abusive man. get out fast.
dont play games with him- just leave.
he is an A$$ and you'll never change him. Stop letting him control you and mess with your self esteem.
2007-03-28 04:46:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋