I'm 29. we share a house because she was in a desperate situation, and it was financially convenient for me at the time. Now the lease is ending in July, and I don't want to live with her anymore. How can I tell her without upsetting her? I know she is not financially able to live by herself, but I am tired of having to help her out by living with her. I want my own life. I have dropped hints that my friend wants to move in, but she sulks alot and changes the subject or refuses to talk about it. I want to stay in the house I am in, and I want her to move out. We are on the lease together, but I paid all the bond money, and I want things to stay civil and nice.
2007-03-27 19:53:37 · 5 answers · asked by Puss in Boots 4 in Business & Finance ➔ Renting & Real Estate
Mum is 50. She has a stable job, but it does not pay enough for her to live the way she wants to live. She is single. She lived with my only brother for 2 years before me. I have given her over $20,000 in the last year and a half and I can't afford to keep paying for her - I can't afford a car or to buy a house because she is always borrowing money off me so she can go out. She may have given birth to me, but I don't owe her anything. She owes me alot more. I rea;;y want to stay in the house I am in and I want her to move out. Not me.
2007-03-28 13:14:49 · update #1
Tell her and remember to help her afterwards.
2007-03-27 20:05:21 · answer #1 · answered by j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not tell us how old is she, is she able to make a living on her own, did she raise you, and help to get on your feet or not??
If she was good to you, and now she cannot support herself, you - and your siblings, if there are any -owe to her with the support she needs and deserves. Remember, you got your life from her!
The least that you can do in this case, to find her another place, and pay for it if she cannot afford it.
If it is the other way around - well it is a different thing. Then just be open and honest with her.
* Knowing the details it seems you did your best, and she could support herself. Tell her how you long for independence and privacy in your life. She may get upset first, but rest assured, you have the right to live your own life. Time will heal her and you can give her your attention and compassion to make it happen
2007-03-28 04:42:49 · answer #2 · answered by Gabriella V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this but, there is no way you can accomplish what you ask. There is no nice way because she is MOM.
Your best bet is to find your self a small flat near work or your favorite pub or your girlfriends or whatever and maintain a "hidey hole".
The extra expense is worth every penny. Remember how much she spent helping you to get to where you are now
Tell mum about your place but dont tell her where it is. Just remember to go and see her as often as you can and spend the night at home once in a while.
The situation will not last as long as you fea nor as long as you hope.She will be gone someday and you will miss her.
Explain that you need a private spot because it sounds like you feel like a kid still. Grow up and take care of mom now.
If you have siblings, get them to help with time and money so mom is not alone too long
2007-03-28 06:54:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you can say, "Mum, I just can't afford to live in this house anymore if I'm the only one paying the rent. I need you to move out or get a job and help me. You have until July, so let's look in the want ads." I don't think there's any way to do it that will make your mom happy. You'll have to keep badgering her about it until she feels it is better to move out.
Do you have any relatives she can stay with?
It sounds like a tough situation. It would be nice to say, "You're my mother, I love you and you can stay as long as you like." But sometimes it's impossible.
2007-03-28 03:06:02 · answer #4 · answered by Madame M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't move and sulks when it's mentioned either bite the bullet and move out or find her a house or room to rent. If she just rents a room it is more affordable then living somewhere by yourself. Could she get a bond loan? Is she old enough to go to one of those old people villages they have?
2007-03-28 03:04:20 · answer #5 · answered by biancajh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋