theyhave 3 kids. we had an afair years ago. He tallks freely toher and I dont like it. He talks rearly in the morning, on the truck
2007-03-27 18:54:53 · 14 answers · asked by lisa o 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You got what you wanted. A man that can't be trusted by his wife.
If they have 3 kids they will always have to talk. Maybe you shouldn't talk about her. That would solve the problem.
Except for the fact that you did marry a man who cheated on his wife before. No wonder you are nervous.
2007-03-27 18:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by Chloe 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
i will address this on 2 fronts: first of all, my ex had an affair all of a sudden and it grew to become into crushing. 2nd i'm verbal substitute prof. From the divorcee attitude: there is not something harder i've got ever confronted and the scars will continuously be there. We did not have young ones which makes a clean harm much less annoying. yet then returned, they share a prior and function 3 reminders of their time jointly. From a comm prof attitude: i think of its substantial to speak to him in a advantageous and heartfelt way. first of all tell him tht you like him and remind him of each and all of the excuses you fell for him in the 1st place. clarify to him which you recognize how his ex harm him and how that discomfort would desire to by no skill pass away. next, enable him understand the way it makes you sense everytime he brings up his thoughts approximately her. What impression does it have on your marriage, your self-concept, etc. ultimately, re-convey your thoughts of affection for him and your life jointly and attempt to make certain a basic floor for what you're able to do as a pair to medical care the placement. it would desire to sound too step-via-step, besides the shown fact that it is the terrific risk at attending to a win win answer. purely confirm to stay calm and shop the verbal substitute concentrated on thoughts and the placement, not on what he's doing.
2016-11-23 20:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't being explained too well. Are you saying that you had an affair to get your husband from his ex, and now you have issues regarding his not wanting you to discuss her. If this is the case, then he should be upset because he's realized what he's given up and you don't seem to appreciate it with talking about what's gone.
2007-03-27 19:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should see a professional counsellor. It appears that you have trust issues. Your husband will always have to talk to his ex wife, and, as his current wife you should be supportive of his apparently amiable relationship with his ex, as it is positive for his children who are your step children. Have you ever tried inviting her and the kids for family outings. You might find that you get along well with her and it would help to dispel any doubts you have about your husband playing up.
Nevertheless you should see a counsellor to help you resolve your trust issues, perhaps you still fill guilty for being involved in the affair?
2007-03-27 19:05:42 · answer #4 · answered by LouLou 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let's see...you had an affair with a married man who had kids and you're upset that he still talks to his ex-wife who is the mother of his children? Good Lord.
If he gets defensive when you bring her up...stop bringing her up!
2007-03-27 19:19:51 · answer #5 · answered by kp 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
After a while, you will get used to her existence and you will have to. The kids are important to him and their mother is an important part of their life. So you will have to be the bigger person here and just get over it.
You obviously have some issues, and if you find it affecting your relationship, you might want to consider counseling.
2007-03-27 19:09:30 · answer #6 · answered by Mauisnj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you knew he had 3 kids when you had a so called affair with him. Neither of you are moral. But he's probably talking to his ex to support her ideas of child upbringing.
He must have loved you more than her and his family to divorce and marry you. So enjoy it, and stop pestering him about his ex. or you'll turn him off you.
2007-03-27 19:01:54 · answer #7 · answered by Tinribs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't feel bad...my ex-hubby gets defensive when his gf of 12 yrs. talks trash about me..and him and her have 1 child together. are they using the children as an excuse to talk to one another? i think you are fighting a battle here you are not going to win....sounds like maybe he regrets the affair you and him had.
2007-03-27 19:02:11 · answer #8 · answered by myninny54 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they have 3 kids together and he will always have contact with her . so i would say you will have to except this or leave he will always be close to her for the kids sake . he sounds like a good father checking on his kids and having a friendship with his ex
2007-03-27 19:05:30 · answer #9 · answered by dan m 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what can you do about it..... they share children together so learn to accept that and the fact that she will always be a part of his life.......... you should have thought about this before having an affair with a married man and children to start with. so therefore you cant do anything yourcomplaints will be as good as empty to him and will only push him away...... get over yourself
2007-03-27 19:02:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋