My mom doesnt like me.?

Question

Our realationship has been strained lately.. Shes extremely stressed, and it just keeps getting worse.. I admit I can be a little tough sometime but I'm not your average bratty teenager, I'm actually okay.

Im so different from her, we share almost no personality traits, and no apearances... But today she said " I love you, but I really don't like you " I dont even remeber what we were talking about, But my heart broke. I thought I would be okay but I still feel the same, broken.
I just started to cry a bit about it now... How can I make her like me ? Were just so different..


What makes it worse is that her and my twin sister get along pretty well... I'm so different from the rest of my family, I always have dreams that I got switched at the hospitail.

im not actually that differrent... preppy sorta, ya know ?

im a girl.. just to make things clear :]

Answer 1

It isn't that uncommon to a degree, but she definitely was dead wrong for saying that. It is natural for a parent to really connect to one child in particular, but for her to not like you should have really gotten to her. Instead of looking inwards to find out what is wrong with you(what you can change) you should ask her why she thinks this way.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry she said that to you. You did not deserve it. I am a mother and I cannot imagine saying that to my child. I don't know how old you are, but I can tell you that family dynamics change all the time. When I was a teen, my mother and I did not get along at all either. Like you, we were completely different. She didn't understand me and she made no effort to try. I couldn't wait to turn 18 and get away from her. I never got into trouble, but she criticized me constantly. My brother, OTOH, seemed to be her favorite. She even admitted that to me once and said she felt that all mothers had a special bond with their sons. He got into lots of trouble and my mother cried over him, but it seemed that despite it all, in my house the word "son" was spelled S-U-N. Now that we are all older and parents ourselves, the dynamic has definitely shifted. I am by far the favorite child and my brother has slipped drastically in his ratings. My mother and I speak on the phone several times a week and she and I are very close. The person you are now is not the person you're going to be in 5 years or 10 years or 15 years ... and the same goes for your mom and your sister. Let time do its work. Do you have another female family member you can cultivate a close relationship with, like an aunt or grandmother for now? Once again, I feel awful that you heard that tonight. Hugs to you!

Answer 3

I think everyone at some point feels that their parents don't like them. I'm sure most parents don't agree with what their kids do even if they are doing the right thing. The crappy thing about stressed out parents is the Kids usually end up the punching bags, one way or another. You say that you and your mom have nothing in common, I bet when you get older things will change. My Mom and I are like Black and White, My younger sister seems to hold the medal (Daughter of the Century) Its pretty hurtful when a parent says they don't like you, But you know we all say things we don't mean. Especially when we are stressed to the MAX!. I am a 32 yr old mom, I have a 12 year old son, I can honestly say if a parents says hurtful things its usually a tough love situation. Some parents really suck at communication. If you are happy with the way you are then your mother should thank her lucky stars that you care enough about your relationship to talk about it. Your sister may have a good relationship with your mom for many reasons, especially the fact they are both females. I hope your mom snaps out of it, You should really try talk to her about it ...You seem very sincere. Black sheep of the family syndrome. I know what you mean. Don't change for anyone but yourself! You seem quite content with the person you are ....That's whats important....Well Good Luck...Remember Communication is #1

Answer 4

Being a mom is a tough job, and even tougher with teenagers. It's o.k. to be different, it just makes it hard for moms to identify with you. Tell her it made you feel bad and you would like to have a better relationship. Ask her what it is she doesn't like. Do little things like help with making dinner or ride to the store with her so you can talk and connect a little bit. She does love you just as much as her other kids. Believe that, I know, I'm a mom of a teenager too. Tell her about your day or friends, anything your interested in. She will like that.

Answer 5

Your mother is not telling you that she doesn't love you. I've said that same line to my father many times. I love my father, but I don't like him. the difference is. My dad most of the time treats me like crap, without meaning to.

My mom and I had the same problems when I was in my teens. I didn't think I was a "rebellious" teenager, or a bad kid for that matter ... however, I DID do things the way I wanted to do them and rarely listened to my mom (not trying to be mean about it) ... I have always been the "black sheep" of the family, my mom never seemed to like me, and my dad surely didn't like me. But now that I'm 21, my mom and I have a lot more respect for each other because we went through a lot together ... She kicked me out when I was 17 years old because I had started dating a 24 year old and she didn't approve. After all that, My relationship with my mom is so much better, she loved me but never really liked me. and NOW we're closer than I ever thought we could be. Stick it out. Sometimes mom's just take a while to realize you're not as bad as you could be!

Answer 6

You sound like a very sweet person.
I honestly believe she(your mom) probably got that saying from a talk show. I heard it the other day. What I believe she meant to say is..... I love you, But I dont always like the things you do or say.

I am sorry she hurt your feelings. My best advice is to talk to her about what she said and tell her how it made you feel. Or write her a letter if you cant say it face to face.

Always remember that you are very special you are here for a reason.
Hugs

Answer 7

hun i am 54 going on 55 and my mother still doesn't like me....i never got into trouble growing up. my brother did..he did all the running away all the drugs and all the smart alec stuff, the talking back, telling my mother where he was going and so on..never asking permission to do anything, just doing it. and this started at the age of 11...she also really cares about my younger sister. she is happy now she has her 4 boys living by her if they are not in jail..my sister and i live in another state and don't see her as much as we think we would like too....lol

Answer 8

I think you should talk to your mom, you know mother to daughter with out your twin involved.Just be open and honest and tell her how you feel inside. I think when she said that that she didn't mean any harm in that.Sometimes we take things to serious, what I mean is You look in to it more than what it is. I really do this myself I should know.Like I said talk to her and ask her how is she doing and that good stuff, be positive and honest. It took me years before I really understood my mom and the things she said. She tells me stuff like that too, now, but I try and not take it to heart. My mom is just a very odd but cool person.Get to know her and the things she likes.

Answer 9

of course your mother likes you, she pro bally just said it wrong, like i love you, but i don't like how you act?it wasn't very nice and sorry it hurt so bad, but sometimes just like kids grown-ups dint think before they open there mouths, I'm sure she didn't mean it or maybe you took it wrong,my daughter was a horrible teenager,she was a sweet baby, i swear alien's came down the end of her 6 grade year and took my sweet daughter, they finally brought her back a few years ago, shes 26 now, she was so bad, i would tell everyone at work that she wasn't mine, that she was switched at birth, i even said not to her, but that she looked so sweet sleeping, i should just put the pillow over her face and put her out of her misery, i would never do that,its just how i felt towards her in her teenage years, but we got through it and i love her so so much, i really think you just miss understood, go give mom a hug tell her you love her

Answer 10

I feel a de juvu comming on, my mother had said this too me aswell..but im also quite a tough child to bring up and when she said it it broke me heart so badly...you should try and talk to her about it, because the worst thing is to have your own mother dislike you...talk to her and try and work things out, mothers should never say things like that to their kids, it's so hurtful..