what should i do about him leavin bruses on my mother?

Question

today i went to see my mom and we talked for a min then she showed me the bruses he left on her arm! i looked her and i felt that in my eyes i felt like i wanted to hurt him! my mother has all my life been wit men that beat her and use her. i have a brother he is only 15 and he is now goin thru what i had to go thru except he has not been beat! what would you do and how can i stop this lifelong pain. my mom should know better she needs to worry about my brother and not let him life thru the sufferin i had to o why could she not see this and i am tried of his bs i am about to the poin that i go to him and snap, he lays his hands on me and he will hit the ground. what should or could i do? i dont want to go to the state they will take my brother and i aint havin that either? PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!

he wont rape me he aint that brave but my mom would kill me if i brought the police in to this, and she wont get help she is in denial!

Answer 1

Kat, not all foster folks are a problem. Right now your Mom can't help herself, but you can help her your brother & yourself. Go to an adult you can trust , a teacher, a friends mom.etc. Ask them to call social services, (who will involve the police, but no one will know it was you) Abuse is a crime, and this will affect you all your life if you kids don't get help. They could also find help for your mom if she would accept it.You can't imagine how many people could be saved if just ONE person would speak up. "telling" is NOT a crime !would you take the keys away from someone you love who was drunk and wanted to drive ? Think of you being hit by a drunk. You would possibly save lives , you must "tell " and save your family from "HIM"

Answer 2

She probably has no where else to go. This is often the case when there is abuse in the family, the one who being abused has no where else to turn, and feels they can't escape. After years of abuse, your mother probably has the spirit of a rock from so much demeaning.
It's difficult what to say, because if you threaten to go to the police, he could beat her extra hard, or even kill her. Do you have any cousins or uncles? Someone to go around there and show him he isn't the only one who can throw fists around?
A friend of mine had a mother who was abused by her boyfriend for years, eventually by the time her son (my friend) was 16, he had the confidence to stand up to him. One day when he got home from school he saw his mother being hit and snapped. He went and clubbed him a few times with his cricket bat. He swore that if he ever layed a finger on his mother again he would kill him. Probably isn't the BEST solution, but it worked.
Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

Answer 3

I think you should sit your mom down and have a talk, is she happy living this way. Explain to her that your brother seeing this kind of thing will make him thinks its ok to treat his girlfriends like that..ask her how she would feel if a guy was abusing you like that.. There are plenty of places everywhere that will help her get away and start a great new life for herself. But if she doesnt want the help, there's really nothing anyone can do.
I wish you luck!

Answer 4

Kat, my heart goes out to you! your mom has to find it within herself her own selfworth. then she will see your brothers needs aswell. telling her that she's not being a good mother or that she should know better wont help cause she does know what the problem is but she dont have what she needs to fix things. well, she does have it but she dont feel it.. its called selfesteam. he has most likely drained her of any good
feelings shes had of herself. basicly he broke her down!!
she needs to feel worthy again, try to help her see that she is a good mother and deserves not to be beat and tell her how sad you n your bro are cause she wont let things get better for her own sake. cause if you say do it for us mom, she may think your being selfish. your not however. but its just an excuse she could use against ya. i was in a relationship like your moms i also have two children. untill i felt good about myself i didnt realy care about me and its hard to care about others when you dont care for even yourself.
change the way you react when she shows you her wounds, dont focus on him being the s.o.b. tell her how wonderful she is it might help her to love herself. you alone cant fix your mom but its a start. reguardless! your brother still deserves to not be a victim of your mothers choices, if all else fails tell her that if she wont fix things you have no choice but to involve outsiders. hopefully it wont go there. just make sure that your baby bro is not a victim much longer. you know in your heart that what he is going through is so unfair. his future may depend on you, you wouldnt be wrong in getting someone to step up for him.
i wish you guys all the best!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

First he needs help to find out as to why he is doing this.Your mother is going through a very bad time and he should respect her and you.Your brother needs the help ASAP.When he gets older he just might end up killing someone for no reason.Check with you local doctor and Mental Health.For your sake and your mothers get him help not for you, but for him.Find out what kind of people he hangs with, because that is the biggest influence on him and drugs.

Answer 6

Are you living in your own place? Is there a way your brother could live with you? As for your mom, she needs counseling, and to go to a battered women's support group in your area. She needs to get to the root of why she has accepted this behavior from men in her life. And how to stop it. Please sit down privately with your mom, and share your concerns aobut your brother with her. And encourage her to get some counseling ASAP. She could also call the cops, get this guy arrested for abusing her, get a restraining order in court on him to keep him away from them. It would be a temp. 2 week one, with a court hearing two weeks later, for a one yr. order of protection, and can be renewed, or even requested to be made longer than one yr. I wish you, your brother, and your mom the best. Take care.

Answer 7

I can kinda relate. My mom used to beat me. Are these guys your mother is dating hurting you and your bro? You're best bet is probably going to the cops about this. It's battery as long as there are marks. If your mother is in this really deep, maybe she should check into a women's shelter. I used to work at a shelter like that and it's a really great program. I'm really glad that you're watching out for your mother like this...and your brother. Hang in there, it'll get better.

Best Wishes

Answer 8

You can call the police and make the report .
Most PDs now take it seriously and the woman does NOT have to make the call to get them to act.
They will not take your brother away unless she is abusing him .
They will just arrest the man for assault & battery.
But do it NOW while the evidence is still there.
Sometimes the beaten woman's brain is too fuzzy to make a good decision.
Make the call , try to save your mom & brother .

Answer 9

Well, don't take my friends way that he handled a situation like this. He shot the guy. What you need to do is sit down with your mother, and explain how you feel about the situation and if she doesn't do something about it, you will get the state involved and you'll fight to have custody over your brother.

Answer 10

You need to tell your Mom that either she straighten her act out or you are going to turn her in. Your brother could be in real danger. If you are out on your own, why don't you let him live with you. Please do something before your brother gets hurt. If your mom wants to let men beat her, that's her life, but it isn't fair to your brother. If possible, you need to get your mother to understand that she doesn't have to let men do that to her. Good luck.