My wife recently checked my phone and found some msgs from my ex, i have only been married for a year. now she's sending warning sms to my ex and all sorts of measures just to check on me, i feel restricted.is it fair? i did meet up to consul my ex and we only hugged!
2007-03-27 17:00:39 · 20 answers · asked by Bored 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you aren't doing anything wrong, then it shouldn't bother you that she checks.
2007-03-27 17:08:34 · answer #1 · answered by Pom♥Mom Spay and Neuter 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
My ex is SMSing me from time to time to check on DD, but I show all SMS to my hubby anyway. She's not to restricting on you, why you don't just show her the SMS of your ex to your wife? Than she wouldn't have a reason to look in your phone.
Somehow I have the feeling, that your ex is a longer ongoing issue between you and your wife, and that she's mistrusting you with your ex. Why you have so much contact with your ex, anyway? Do you have children together?
If not, it would be a good idea to cut ties with your ex or at least to go on distance to her - she's your ex for some reason, and you don't want to risk your current marriage for this. I mean, you're hugging your ex, my hubby would be pissed, if I'd hug my ex and rightfully so!
You need to get your priorities straight and think about, who's the most important person in your life: Your ex or your new wife?
2007-03-27 21:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by Chevrolet*Blazer*Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have kids whith your ex?? If not, there is no reason to consult with your ex for any reason. To tell you the truth I think Its a little weird that you are. Obvisouly your wife is feeling very intimidated and insecure. Maybe you should be consulting your wife instead. Why do you feel you can console in your ex and not your wife? Your wife should not be looking through your phone, but you should not be giving her any reason to do so either.
2007-03-27 17:14:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are totally out of line. You are going to make your wife feel insecure if she doesn't already. Have your ex call the house phone and for goodness sakes, include your wife in any conversations you need to have with your ex. And unless there are children involved there should be no reason why you need to communicate with her anyway. In that case you should still include your wife. You are giving your ex a ticket to ruin your marriage. I wouldn't put up with it and I hope you give your wife more respect than to keep in touch with your ex who obviously doesn't have respect for your marriage. Good luck and take a second look at what you are doing. It isn't nice.
2007-03-27 17:12:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
There is both right and wrong here and as feelings and emotions are involved there is no rational answer.
Your wife feels threatened, ex's nearly always bring out jealousy and negative feelings.
I suggest that you involve your wife in any discussions, consultations and meetings you have with your ex. Let her know you consider her feelings and thoughts are important.
Likewise let your ex know that she can't expect you to act as an individual, because frankly you aren't one anymore.
Marriage is a team activity and spouses hate being sidelined.
2007-03-27 17:15:17 · answer #5 · answered by Ratsoo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly alright. If it makes her feel safe in your marriage, then she should be able to do it. It would also make her TRUST you more, considering you are still in touch with your ex.
If you have nothing to hide it wouldn't be an issue, correct?
You'd check her stuff if she had an ex consulting her for stuff. I'm sure you'd say "no", but put yourself in her shoes for a minute.
Sit down and talk to your wife. I'm really sure you'd feel the same way.
2007-03-27 17:49:46 · answer #6 · answered by val girl_38 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you have children with the ex and the discussions with your ex are strictly about the children, you shouldn't be in communication with her. You haven't completely made the break with her and are married to someone else - that's just wrong. You need to break things with the ex - show your wife and do whatever you possibly can to regain her trust.
2007-03-27 17:17:41 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex shouldn't be causing issues with your wife unless she's trying to get you in trouble. There shouldn't be any messages from her for your wife to find. If the situation was on the other foot with your wife having an ex, how would you react? Always think about this scenario before you get into things that can cost you your marriage which won't be worth it in the end.
2007-03-27 17:11:35 · answer #8 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You are not married to your ex, you shouldn't have anything to do with her. Your wife should be the #1 person in your life. Respect her.
2007-03-27 17:13:27 · answer #9 · answered by Izzy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you tell your wife when your communicating with you ex or meeting with her? If you discussed it she wouldn't feel insecure and need to snoop
Your priority is to your new wife,don't make her feel bad by secretly seeing your ex.
Talk to her,reassure her that you love her and explain the need to talk to your ex.tell your ex to call the house phone and not your cell so your wife knows whats going on
2007-03-27 17:07:30 · answer #10 · answered by tuppenybitz 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You should not have any contact with an ex when you are married. Your wife is no fool, she is protecting herself. Get a clue!!!
2007-03-27 17:32:41 · answer #11 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋