Okay...I am suppose to get married next year, and lately I have been talking to my high school sweetheart. The one I was with for like 4 years before I got with my future husband. I am so confused. I still have feeling for my high school sweetheart. But yet I want to be with my future husband, I mean we have a family together. BUt there are times when I dont even want to be around my future husband. I am so confused I dont know what to do. Can you help me if you understood my question. It might have been as confusing as me!
2007-03-27 16:56:11 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your doubts should answer your own question. If you are confused and have feelings for your high school love, please don't go through with the wedding. It wouldn't be fair the the man you're currently with.
When someone decides to be married, they need to make sure that, that's the person they really want to be with. Would you want your fiancee to marry you if he had feelings for someone else?
2007-03-27 17:06:18 · answer #1 · answered by Pom♥Mom Spay and Neuter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you are on the verge of getting married, you should be mature enough to make decisions that will effect your life in a state that will make sense. If you have a family with the future husband, why would you even consider going backward with an ex who you had a good reason for going forward after the four years you had spent with him. That was more than enough time to find out if he was the one, and it's obvious he wasn't. If you mess up your future behind the ex, then you may not have your happiness that you are entitled too. Lust is not Love, and going backward only bring about regrets, which you won't find out until too late.
2007-03-28 00:30:26 · answer #2 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your high school sweetheart is tugging at your heartstrings because when you are young you get those cool feelings in your stomach and I think that's what you are experiencing when you see him. So you are just remembering those feelings you had back when you were in high school. In other words its just a neat feeling remembering what the crush felt like in the past. Do not...do not let that feeling fool you from the feeling of love that is far closer to being genuine with your current fiancee. After all you must love him....you said it yourself...you started a family with him. Plus...you can't go off with this other guy when what you are about to do is marry the father of your children....wow that sounds so backwards...oh that's right because it is backwards...your suppose to marry first then have the family but hey you decided to have the family first for some reason. So now you are thinking clearly and deciding to marry their father......that's what you should be doing, so please for the kids sake...keep going that direction...they deserve their mom to be married to their dad....Good Luck!
2007-03-28 00:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by chcman74 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can look at this either one of two ways.
It could mean that you still have strong feelings for your high school boyfriend and you're not ready to walk down the aisle.
And it could also mean that you're allowing yourself to have feelings for your high school boyfriend because the prospect of marriage (and all that forever stuff) is a scarier than hell proposition. If you have doubts...normal, completely understandable and rational doubts that we all have before tying the knott...the old relationship could just be an excuse.
You could also be remembering the more pure, innocent relationship you had with the high school boyfriend. I mean, come on--think about this. You're older now, more mature..so is the relationship with your fiance.
Unfortunately, maturity brings with it more responsibility and that sometimes gets messy and complicated. It's understandable to want to run back to a simpler, more innocent time.
BUT...you already have an investment with your fiance...a family. (see what I mean about complicated and a bit messy? That's not an indictment...just a reality in your case)
Allow the old boyfriend to be just what he really is---a nice memory of a time gone by. A diversion.
You've got a life ahead of you...the one you had with this ex-boyfriend all those years ago, actually helped you get to this point in your life. whether you realize it or not, he lead you here..
Look forward, not backwards.
2007-03-28 00:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by I am Laurie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOVE is a CHOICE, you chose to love your future husband, you need to make that decision on who you want to continuing loving, but you need to consider everyone involved, including your children, you as a parent need to make sacrifices and pining over a high school sweetheart, that's probably not such a good thing, it ended somewhere in the past or it wouldn't be in the past, maybe you should really think of how the relationship was and why it did end, maybe you are focusing on the good things and just fooling yourself....
2007-03-28 00:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I really wouldn't get married until I'm absolutely sure that you're marrying the right person.
Maybe it isn't that your high school sweetheart is the reason for your confusion. Maybe it's that you're confused, and you're needing someone else to talk to (and your high school sweetheart is available to talk to).
Either way...you're really not doing the right thing for yourself and for your fiance if you get married without being sure.
Good luck.
2007-03-28 00:47:25 · answer #6 · answered by Strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like u are not ready to settle down. If you still have unresolved issues with your ex., that should be a red flag. Do not get married because you have a family together. I am assuming you have children. If kids are involved.. How are you suppose to make your kids happy if you are not happy? Or maybe even you are just having cold feet and trying to find a reason not to get married. Weigh out your pro and cons. Who do you love? Who do you want to spend you life with? Who makes you so happy? Who do you see yourself growing old with? remember someone is an ex for a reason.
2007-03-28 00:14:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
having feelings for your high school sweet heart is normal and you may have those feelings for a very long time. as far as your future husband, you guys are going to have ups and downs, it's part of life and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
2007-03-28 00:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by Star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you are not ready for the marriage honey. You still have your past love to settle and you have not settle it yet. What I can suggest to you is that you must make up your mind who you gonna love for the rest of your life and who do you want to be in your life forever. Think about that and take your time until you come to a decision.
2007-03-28 00:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is difficult enough when you think you are ready for it and sure it is with the one you know you love. Do not get married as long as you are confused.
2007-03-28 00:05:19 · answer #10 · answered by RY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋