My boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage, and he is set on having separate accounts and splitting the cost of everything. His mom and stepdad have a joint account and always argue about money, and that is where he thinks that this might be the solution. My parents have a joint account and have no problems at all. I really don't think that it will work out in the long run once we have kids and travel. (Who's paying for dinner? Plane tickets? Gas?) It just seems like it would be too much fighting just over that? Am I wrong?
2007-03-27 16:37:42 · 17 answers · asked by Abi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been married for 9 years and we have separate bank accounts. We are very open and honest with each other and our finances. I have certain bills and payments that are my responsibility and my wife has ones that are her responsibility. We always discuss the major expenses and purchases and we both know that if we ever need some help that we are there for each other. We have no issues with things and sometimes we both try to pay for meals and things like that. The joint account may work better if one of you is kind of irresponsible with your spending, but my wife does not need to clue me in on every 20 bucks she spends and I don't have to tell her about everything that I spend money on... we come together on the big things... She packs a lunch, I eat out... her shampoo costs $17 a bottle, mine costs $2.50... it works for us. Good Luck to you. I think that separate is better.
2007-03-27 17:25:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think youre right. My husband and I now married for almost 2 years have had separate accounts now for 5 years. We have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and just this year we started combining our money. It is easier to work with once you start a family. I think its ok to have a separate accounts. I still have my own checking account. I think the smartest thing couples can do is have their own individual account then have a joint account. As for splitting bills...that should be joint. You are both using the utilities and food and other things, then you should both pay into it (from a joint account) how much you each put into the joint is another story. Having your own account not only keeps you feeling independent...but whos' to say that you will be with this man for life? Realisticly we need to think of these things. Better safe then sorry as they say!
2007-03-27 16:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a marriage, both partners are equal. Don't you think it would cause even more problems if you are arguing over who pays what, and who paid last time, etc, etc? You are right when you think that a joint bank account would be easier. Because you are equal, it doesn't matter who makes what or who pays what. You both pay for everything that you need and/or want.
My husband and I got married almost 9 months ago and we immediately got a joint account. We pay for everything that we owe and everything we buy out of it, regardless of anything. We are married and we are equals and it only makes sense to have one bank account.
A split bank account will most likely cause problems. One question: does he trust you? My husband is in the military and a lot of the guys he works with have split bank accounts because they don't completely trust their wives. Talk with him about this and really stress the idea that you two are equals and that you should be paying for things as a whole, not as two seperate parts.
2007-03-27 17:12:40 · answer #3 · answered by His Angel 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Finances are a HUGE issue in marriages. If you split everything but one of you makes 20k more per year, is that fair? If one comes home when the kids are sick and looses money and you still split everything, is that fair?
Those are all things that need to be considered. The way we worked it before we got into our "groove" was that at the end of every paycheck, after bills, groceries, etc.. we both had the same amount in our pockets.. like an allowance.. that way the one who made more contributed more and everything was equal.
If he brought home 500 that week and I brought home 1000.. after paying bills we would both end up with the same amount... you can even budget for vacation money, etc.. keeps things fair.
Once you get into a groove, you can just handle it yourselves without dishing out allowances.. but until then come to some sort of agreement.. or you will be arguing!
2007-03-27 16:44:20 · answer #4 · answered by Steffi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it is your first marriage you could either have a split or joint account, but if its your second or third marriage consider listening to your boyfriend. There is just some conflicts couples have with money when its their second or their marriage. Remember money is a big problem in relationships, so always try to be as clear as you can be with your partner, so in the future you don't have to face any dilemmas that you boyfriend's family is experiencing. He was smart to suggest that to you.
2007-03-27 16:45:52 · answer #5 · answered by jumba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I once had a joint account with someone, years ago, and when we broke up, I lost all my money because the bank wouldnt let me take out what was mine without the other person there to sign for it.
2007-03-27 17:02:47 · answer #6 · answered by rzblossom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong but if he doesn't feel comfortable with money being joint that i don't think he is husband material and you can have some money in a account that holds both of your money to have for the future and separated accounts with money just for your self that he cant touch and you cant touch his separated account i think this will work best because u do have to plane for the future
2007-03-27 16:51:10 · answer #7 · answered by sexysyi 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are not married I say separate accounts and keep all of your receipts because these things have a way of ending in court. If you are married I say two joint account, one savings and one checking and a separate checking account for each of you so you can get personal things.
2007-03-27 16:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm how do you decide that stuff now with seperate bank accounts?
You crack me up. I'd think it home mortgage would be the one that would spring to an honest, thoughtful mind.
I also noted a certain sterility in your consideration of your relationship, as if money might be the most important thing. Hmmm?
2007-03-27 17:05:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are totally right honey and I've been married for 18 years. When you get married, the idea is to join as one force. It eliminates all the headaches you mentioned. If your soon to be husband thinks his solution is best, then he might consider getting a room mate instead of a wife, because that's what room mates do...split everything. Married couples on the other hand SHARE everything.
"For richer or for poorer...till death do we part".
Just food for thought.
2007-03-27 16:49:01 · answer #10 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋