After a very rough visit with my fiancee's family this weekend, I have decided that along with all the other problems in our relationship, it isn't worth the effort anymore. We don't fight that much, we just don't talk anymore. We carry on basic conversations that you would have with any friend. Our sex life has been non existant for a long time, he isn't cheating because when he is home, he is with the children. I have 2 children from a previous relationship, we have a 10 month old together. When I told him tonight that I think we need to go our seperate ways, he showed no emotion, and asked if I wanted him to sleep in the living room? Obviously it doesn't matter what room he sleeps in because nothing happens anyways. His mother yelled at me in with her finger swinging in my face with our baby in my arms and my 4 year old watching. He wasn't there at the time, but that happened Sun. and he has said nothing to her about the matter, that was the last straw.
2007-03-27 16:30:49 · 12 answers · asked by chefck26 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The fight with his mother started out because he and I had been bickering before we got there and when he stepped out, she told me "I don't know how you 2 live under the same roof, your always fighting." I answered her honestly, we haven't faught in a long time, but when we go away to visit her, he treats me differently (talks to me even less than he does at home, and actually has to make a real effort to include me, ex asking me if I would like coffee, knowing I don't drink it at all just to be polite) and we fight. So while she was yelling in my face she told me maybe I shouldn't go there anymore.
2007-03-27 16:34:56 · update #1
Have you considered family counseling?
I believe that it's better to be alone than to feel alone with the wrong person.
I'm sorry you're going through this, but if he isn't willing to do his part to make things better in this relationship, then perhaps going your separate ways would be best.
2007-03-27 17:53:02 · answer #1 · answered by Strawberry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not would be my answer. Or he just thinks you are lying.
Sometimes with two people who are mature and good people, they are both on the same page relationship wise. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it is a blessing I would suppose.
If he had suggested it to you, what would you have done?
I mean maybe you both care for each other, but both realize that it is not a good match for you two to be together anymore and rather than argue, why not get out with dignity and friendship in tact. Which would be much better for the kids anyways.
If you both continue to handle things this well, you will have some lucky kids, that do not get dragged into things and see total dysfunction in relationships. That is wonderful!
2007-03-27 23:35:37 · answer #2 · answered by Steffi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right about the fact that he should address his mother about what she did...a couple should always stand as one...however I would strongly recommend counseling first. There have been many times in the past when I wanted to give up on my marriage too, but I am so glad we went to counseling first. I am happily married and I know now my children and I won't be a statistic. Give it a shot, what have you got to lose?
2007-03-27 23:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by Crystal D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm why did she yell at you?
This question is telling me you have a problem (and I am guessing he has one too if he's with you). Instead of saying intimacy is missing, you say "we carry on basic conversation". Then you tell me--a total stranger--you have no sex life. Like that matters. Sex without intimacy isn't mature and healthy.
You have two children, yet you have problems describing character and attitude qualities within your relationship, but you are eager to point out the sexual component... like a 15 year-old boy would.
You sound remakably immature for a mother of two.
2007-03-27 23:38:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your bf isn't even defending you what is that? If he loved you he would always have your back ALWAYS! And as for his mother swinging her finger in your face with your baby in your hand that would have been the last straw for me i would find somewhere else to live if i were you. You don't deserve to be treated like that.
2007-03-27 23:49:47 · answer #5 · answered by Momof1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry...it sounds like he gave up a long time ago. Maybe he was waiting for this all along because he didn't have th balls to end it himself. I am a single mother of 4 and it's not easy but can be very rewarding. Be strong ~ for yourself and your children.
2007-03-27 23:34:48 · answer #6 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there really isn't a relationship anymore.
You both should try to remain friendly for the sake of the children.
2007-03-27 23:38:16 · answer #7 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked him if he still loves you or is there any problems he would like to talk about , its best you ask him how he feels about your relationship by the sounds of things its time to go your seperate ways , good luck
2007-03-27 23:47:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry on your relationship. My advice is, it's better to end the relationship rather than you suffer later on.
2007-03-27 23:44:56 · answer #9 · answered by mrsm72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would maybe try counseling first if you want to try and make it work!But if your not happy,your not happy!!You have children to worry about,and if moms not happy,usually no ones happy!!You have one life make the most of it!!
2007-03-27 23:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by molliehollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋