I am 17 years old and male and i live with my fiancee and my 3 year old daughter (her mother left as year ago). People always talk about me for being only 13 when I got my 12 year old girlfriend pregnant. I really cannot stand judgemental people. Why do they care? Is it that unusual to be a 17 yr. old man, living with my fiancee and have a 3 year old daughter.
2007-03-27 16:27:40 · 26 answers · asked by Martin A Neville 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I posted in adolence (ignore misspelling) becasue I am 17.
2007-03-27 16:28:09 · update #1
People are like that, and they always have been. I don't judge people from what they have or what they look like. Everybody makes mistakes and nobody understands that anymore. Now if you make that same mistake more than three times, then there is a problem. My friend is 14 and has two kids, but I don't judge her by that. That is HER business and HER business only. It isn't for me to dig into. If she wants to share it with me, then I don't mind. I don't see why people can't understand that some people make mistakes.
2007-03-28 07:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know, you're right, in a way. It's too late to be judgmental. You did a really stupid thing when you were a 13, but judging you now isn't going to teach you a lesson. It sounds like having the kid did, because you only have the one. It's time for the people around you to forgive and forget, and start helping you through this. Being responsible and taking care of your child is a step in the right direction. Now you need to take some online courses while working a full time job so that you are giving your child the best father she could have. Getting an education is vital. She is going to get more and more expensive to care for, and your career is going to need a booster. Use protection with your current fiancee-two kids right now can make things even harder. This is all just friendly advice, you can take it or leave it, but you should know that your daughter's future depends on the decisions you make right now. Good luck!
2007-03-27 16:48:10 · answer #2 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I for one dont know many 17 year old who have a 3 yr old duaghter and a fiancee that they live with. But then again, that is no reason to judge anyone. What they should be judging is that you were 13 and facing fatherhood. In a time when most boys would have become scared and ran off you were there raising your daughter and showing her love. I say to hel! with all those people who judge you in a disrespecting manner and I commend you for what you did!! Its nice to know that there are still men out there who will take repsonsibilty for there children. Congradulations and I hope you dont let what people say get you down!! Just remembr your the best parent you can be under the circumstances and thats all anyone can ask for because at least you are there.
2007-03-28 00:51:59 · answer #3 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is unusual to be a father at 13 and a mother at 12 and most 17 year old's are in HS/college and many are still living at home and pretty much all 16 year olds are in HS. People care because they know the odds are against you and that you have chosen a very difficult path.
2007-03-28 00:36:31 · answer #4 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In life there will always be people who judge and turn up their noses at others. And no it is not right at all. Every family is different and if your happy with your family then that is all that matters. I am 23 and just had a baby (which is a pretty average age) however I look 16 or less according to most people so all the time I hear people tell me how younge I am to have a baby blah blah blah. Most of the time I just let them think what they want and dont even telll them my real age. There is nothing harder in the world than being a good parent. Since you are able to do it a decade before most people, everyone should be patting you on the back commending you rather than placing judgement. Good luck to you and your family and everytime some1 says something sly think of your beautiful daughters face and tell you how happy you are to have her, how she is your love, your world, and your heart.
2007-03-27 16:51:52 · answer #5 · answered by angela 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
They should note how good a dad you are, not how you got to be there. I think you are doing a great job hanging in there, wish there were more dads like you instead of the ones that run off. I wouldn't even call geting your girlfriend pregnant at 13 'stupid', you were both just children; it sure would be stupid if you did it again now, but back then, it was just uninformed and unlucky. But hey! You have a beautiful child, rejoice and enjoy fatherhood.
2007-03-27 19:48:19 · answer #6 · answered by Jeremy W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is trying to be judgmental, but trying to actually understand the situation. But people get a little too nosy or a bit too rude when displaying their opinion.
No young teen should be having sex, let alone having children when they are still dependant children themselves; however, what is done is done. People are just amazed at the age of parenthood you both went into and she left at age 15...16.
Kudos for standing up to be a dad, still moving on with life raising her and meeting another person, who hopefully you two will make it well into old age.
2007-03-27 16:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
People are being nosy & judgemental. I feel for you! I can't imagine how stressful life must get at times. I'm sure you're doing an amazing job w/ you lil girl. I wouldn't worry about the losers in this world who can't get past their own stereotypes.
Good for you for being a wonderful Dad @ such a young age.
2007-03-27 17:58:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not unusual. There are many guys that are with their wives that have children at a young age. This is a nice thing to hear because many guys would have left their girl and move on. Actually people should be astound at this. I am glad to hear that you are living it up with your child and your wife. Exactly people are no one to be judging because its not their business. Take care and good work!
=D
2007-03-28 06:36:20 · answer #9 · answered by Yasmin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing a great job. Ignore what anyone says about you. I don't know you, but I say that you are better than most of the guys that I know. I would say that people don't have anything else to say about you so they think they need to bring up the past. Tell them that you know you made a mistake when you were younger but at least you stood up to be a man to be there for your child and didn't give them up for adoption for someone else to raise. Tell them to stay out of your life and worry about their own.
2007-03-28 04:49:18 · answer #10 · answered by mommy_05_06 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋