I re cently went on vacation with my friend, her bf and a few other people. The entire time he constantly called her stupid, retarted, idiot, a**hole, etc. over the smallest little things she would say or do. She would never defend herself and the whole time would only go or do what he wanted. It was like he was controlling her. I wanted to say something but I dont know how to approach the situation.
2007-03-27 16:20:08 · 10 answers · asked by Jersey Girl 25 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Make sure whenever you're around her that you are always positive and supportive. Hopefully she'll soon see the difference and make the right choice.
2007-03-27 16:25:20 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation you find yourself in, as you risk your friendship if you tell her how you feel. If I were in your situation, I would take my friend on a girls day out (just the two of you). Have a fun day, shopping etc, get a make over, something nice for your friend to tell her how much you really care for her, then I would bring up the subject of her b/f, casually asking how things are going etc and tell her that you are concerned at his recent behaviour and as a friend you are looking out for her as you are worried. Tell her that if you were in the same situation as she, you would expect her to look out for you if your b/f was putting you down and acting like an idiot. Just be honest and open. Tell your friend that no matter what you will always be good friends and there for each other, after all, that's what friends are for.
2007-03-27 23:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pull ur friend 2 the side and tell her that u r not trying 2 tell her what 2 do but u think she needs 2 hear what u have 2 say and if she gets mad she is not a real friend.
2007-03-27 23:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by edh1414 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be very careful when you approach this situation. I would make sure the two of you are alone and tell her how you feel. However be prepared for her to call you jealous or say that you just want him for yourself. It is hard for someone to recognize that they are in an abusive situation.
2007-03-27 23:24:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is so sad.... someone needs to talk to her and let her know that she deserves more from a boyfriend. She probably will not listen though... so you have to be supportive and try your best not to say you hate him or too many negatives, cause if he is as controlling as he sounds she will not be able to hang with you very often... she will tell him what ever you tell her so be careful, loving and dont tell her what she needs to do but accept what ever she decides and tell her that you are there for her. good luck
2007-03-27 23:29:45 · answer #5 · answered by sweetsal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are that this guy feels intimidated by women. Generally, guys who feel this way feel they have to take control. You need to talk to your friend, thats for sure. When you do though, just remind her that you care for her, and dont want to see her hurt. She may just need to see that someone cares enough to say something. Once you say something, that may be a big enough boost to her to do something about this guy. Hope this helps, good luck.
2007-03-27 23:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by mr.margarita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it happens again, just look at her and say " you gone let him talk to you like that? He's soooooo disrespectful and you deserve better." Maybe, she just needs for someone to point this out and validate her feelings. She's probably embarrassed by him behavior. That may be why she wont say anything to him. Good Luck to you!
2007-03-27 23:33:46 · answer #7 · answered by FemFatale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It amazes me how much a woman will put up wit, iv been in this situation b4, chicks take it personally when u tell em their man is a bastard and she will make YOU her enemy NOT her man! but listen jus cos ur frend hypothetical 'jack' likes to sleep doesnt mean u wont save him from a fire when he is a sleep right?! yes u might loose the friendship or at least things myt be a bit hostile but u hav to save her..sit her down tell her u love her and u cant believe she put up with insults from him like that, empower her, but dont say leav the bastard! say thing like ' you need to say dont call me that' or 'tell him how painful it is when you are isulted by the man u love in public' her defence is gonna be 'he was jokin' or the like..then tell her, well he may be joking but ppl around are talking bout how badly he treats and tell her that YOU as her friend dont like to see a wonderful person like her be called things she is not. also tell her that a person who claims to love her wont humiliate her like that...
And no she wont leave him...but evry time he calls her stupid she will remember your words... and eventually she will see how wrong it is...
meanwhile you can take a stand! dont hsng out with the 2 of them make it clear to her that u dont want to see her being put down, show her u dont want to b in the same room as this guy! get ur friends involved... but make sure ur loving to her.... dont whisper when they are around, be loving to her and mind you,be civil to him.. u can nod in his direction but hug her!
giv it a try, on fine day she might let the bastrad go!
but if she doesnt you know u tried!
BTW- it awesome that ur so concerned about this girl...good on you!
2007-03-27 23:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by Nadz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say I do not like the way he treats you that's what I would say if she was my friend.and that she could find some better lot better then him. You should tell in front of her that you do not like the way talks to your friend.
2007-03-28 08:46:35 · answer #9 · answered by Carebear22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you dont kno wen to bring it up, the next time you hear him talkin like that to her when he leaves thenbring it up... tell her that he is verbally abusing her and she needs to get out of that relationship... it can only get worse if she stays!
2007-03-27 23:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by FunnyBunny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋