I've been married for almost 14 years and I'm currently pregnant, my husband told me that it was over between us few weeks before I found out I was pregnant. Since, we always have our ups and downs I realize he will change his mind after I told him about the baby , but he got worst. he started going out more often w his pals and I do have a feeling that this is it for our relationship. He keep telling me that we are two different people and that he loves me , but he is not in love with me i tell him all the time that people change w the years . I love him with all my heart, and one part of me tell me to let him go since I love, but my other part tell me to fight for my relationship , since we've been thru a lot, but it takes two to tango and I can't keep trying if he is not willing to meet me half way. What should I do? Should I fight for the love of my life? or Should i let him go since I rather him to be happy if that's what he wants. Please help!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-27 16:07:05 · 8 answers · asked by Adorable 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go with the part that says let him go honey. He is being straight forward and honest with u...at least he is giving u that much. As the saying goes "if u love someone let them go and if they come back then that is how u know" Unfortunately there is a child involved and it will not be as easily done as said but u have to give it a whole effort to let him go. Holding on will only make him resent you more and u dont want that. Sometimes women tend to think that having a mans child will soften something in that mans heart and make him change his mind and want to stay. For some men that does happen for most it doesnt. So make it easy on yourself and let that man free and focus on you and your unborn child. Its best to try and stay happy during your pregnancy for the overall health of your child. If u become too stressed it could lead to complications. Please take care of yourself during this time and look to supportive happy people who can keep your spirits up and when your husband sees that u will still be alive and ok once he's gone then he's gonna realize what a sad mistake he has made and that's all u need is to see him suffer like he is making you do now. Eventually it will come. Good luck sweetie
2007-03-27 16:18:01 · answer #1 · answered by JAY 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is really a ruff decision ether way you look at this question!
Mainly because there is a child in the works.
First and far most is you need to take care of number one,
in your case you and the unborn child.
One can say get abortion but that's not going to solve anything and quite frankly speaking will always be brought back up into each others faces.
If terminate pregnancy then what about next time pregnant or some other reason or this, he still keeps up what he's doing or much worse?
Through all efforts at any cost to keep your marriage and it still doesn't work!
He has already told you, He loves you but not in love with you, So there you have it!
My dear with all said and done, you need to quickly reassess your marriage with this man or move on?
My only answer I can offer you is two ways to look at this....
A.) Give it time, I hopes he changes.
B.) One or the other move out and do it alone.
Making sure he helps with the support of you and child.
Getting rid of a child, won't guarantee life will go back to normal, there are no guarantees just trust and love. Without that you have a problem!
(Lots have done this, yes hard times, no easy quick fix but they have managed. Some feel far better off, feel good about their self. With and without children and even some expecting mothers!)
By law he does have to care for BOTH of you and seriously maybe you should be talking to a lawyer about yours and unborn child's rights.
Whatever you chose just make sure you make that decion on your own.
Good luck dear and congratulation of your pregnancy.
2007-03-27 23:42:08 · answer #2 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are Christian, then you know that God does not like divorce. The only time it is acceptable (and that by NO means means that He likes it) is when there is ABUSE. As Christians, we are supposed to overcome, solve the problem. How do we overcome it, we get on our knees and seek God's face;and PRAY PRAY PRAY without ceasing. There's a book by Stormie Omartin called "The Power of a Praying Wife", I suggest you go to any bookstore and buy it. Also, we seek CHRISTIAN COUNSELING by a Pastor or a Psychologist. Or, you can choose to go to a Marriage Encounter or some other married couple weekend to go to and reignite that flame again. Both of you need to change, but only YOU can take care of yourself. You can't change someone else. So, if you love him, than try one of the weekends. Most couples come out renewed and refreshed and ready to make the changes necessary to keep their marriage and actually fall in love again. A marriage is WORK...HARD WORK!!! God Bless!!
2007-03-27 23:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
My heart breaks for you.
Love changes over time - he may be missing that "new" feeling, you know? You cannot talk him into feeling that - just be strong. Let him find out for himself what 14 years means. Be patient and let him figure things out, I hope with all my heart he realizes that his life is with you. Fight quietly.
Congratulations on the baby!
2007-03-27 23:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by pepper 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is his pals that he's hanging out with. If he's not supportive now that you're pregnant., he's not going to be. Go see a GOOD attorney as soon as possible to protect your baby's and your best interests.
2007-03-27 23:13:36 · answer #5 · answered by Elizabeth G 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
to be honest if, if your really love him then let him go. but if he is wanting to go then he probley has someone else. just let him go. go on with your life and do your own thing and he just might come around and change his mind. let nature work its course if your ment to be together then you will be. just be happy for him if he is happy. and that will mess with his mind more then anything and don't let it leave you both in an angry place. expectally if your p.g. you should to try to friend reather then nothing. for your self and your child.
2007-03-27 23:16:48 · answer #6 · answered by llil_thang 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
thats a hard one.. and he didnt change after u told him about the pregancy .. what a a**.. well let go.. if he comes back .. its up 2 u if u take him back.. eventually he'll regret it after the baby is born.. good luck and best wishes...for u and u r baby...
2007-03-27 23:13:46 · answer #7 · answered by lblnx22 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No question, I'd fight for the love of my life........
2007-03-27 23:16:55 · answer #8 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋