a question for city school teachers and TA's: how to have a good balance of nice and strict?

Question

I just started working as a sub TA in the city schools yesterday. for the most part my job is great so far, its great helping the kids out and i really love it, but theres one thing i think i could use some direction on: finding the appropriate balance between being a nice TA and a strict TA. on the first day i was trying to be as nice as I could, and because of that and the fact that im a sub, the kids tried to walk all over me. today was different, i was still respectful, and as helpful as i could be, but i knew i had to be alot tougher (even wrote my first ever referral today). i definatly saw results, the kids still seemed to like me and i had more control when i was responsible of monitoring them in the halls/ in the cafeteria (which is always really tough), but im worried about balancing it right though, because i dont want to be a pushover, but i dont want to be a jerk. any advice in helping me find the best balance? any 'tricks of the trade' you can inform me about? thanks!

one other thing i forgot to mention, so far i've only worked in an elementary school, but i anticipate working at middle and high schools at some point. if you can give me an answer, could you specify what level you teach, and how a TA should act depending on what level i will be working in? thanks again.

Answer 1

I was a teacher for over 25 yrs.
This is not conceit - but students LIKED me.
Proof - many students in my class at lunch-time voluntarily
- MANY, many students who returned after they left school to chat, thank etc.
[ admittedly 10% students who had poor academic records, told that they would never go to Uni - but I gave them back-entry methods of getting into University, and they returned to tell me they loved Uni as I said they would. Other 90% were students - incested, beaten and otherwise physically and mentally abused - we all kept in contact as I told them they would never get over the abuse BUT they could still beat the abusers by having a happy life.]
My point
- Listen - talk lots - tell it as it is (apparently according to a student poll these were my 2 best qualitys - I could tell a bully at 100 paces and "You tell it as it is Miss no B.S.")
-Truly LISTEN hera what they are not saying students will not tell you about abuse openly at 1st.
- Don't be Miss nice. Be Miss Honest
- Be firm - children love structure
- if you promise some-thing DO it
- do not promise silly punishments - a teacher promised if student did not do written lines, they would be doubled every day, think on this, after 2 months student would be writing over 2 million lines.
- the punishment involves YOU so be careful. My 30 seconds detention were feared by all as one had to sit perfectly still and straight or repeat the 30 seconds, and I could give up when I wanted.
- have fun punishments e.g. any student could say anything nasty about some-one BUT had to stay in class until they said 2 nice things about that person, lots of fun and laughter.

I always taught as follows - Imagine a team of top prize horses being taken from Sydney Australia, across the Nullabour plains ( sort of desert) to the smaller city of Perth Western Australia
- at 1st you are firm keep the horses under control - not much Miss nice guy.
2nd let them go, they need little help, as they graze in Nullabor
3rd - bring back into city but nicely
Substitute students for prize horses; substitute 1st, 2nd, 3rd, for parts of school year.
- Try to like students, tell them BUT remember they can be little shits some-times
If you say some-thing NICE say some-thing mildly nasty and vice-versa
Being a teacher is NOT about being liked = it is about students liking learning.

Answer 2

Being a jerk and being strict are not the same thing. I think you can be "nice" eventually but you first have to establish that you are in charge. You rarely can go back and change it once you have charted your path.