My cousin is a doctor (GYN) and she has a patient that is going to deliver a baby in two month's. That patient does not want the child because she was raped by a family member and waited too late to get an abortion, so she ended up having to have the baby. My cousin wants too adopt that child because she wants a baby and she feels like this is her opportunity too have a child.. To make a long story short, she wants my husband and myself to adopt the child for her and give the child to her after we adopt the baby.I told her this is illegal. and she said it is legal because people do that all the time. I told her that I have never heard of someone adopting a child and giving it too someone else. I also told her she should adopt the child herself, and she said that she feels awkward delivering the child and taking the baby home immediatley after that.. I told her that I am not going to do it and she said that she not going to talk to me anymore because I am not a good cousin.
2007-03-27 15:43:28 · 37 answers · asked by Vicky 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First off, i can totally understand why u would not want to adopt the child then give it away, and im sure your cousin could too if she sat down and thought about it. So you are not a bad cousin. On the other hand, if this really is your cousins only chance to have a baby i can understand why she would be upset and lashing out at you, but you are not to blame because you didnt do anything wrong. I would suggest your cousin speaks to a lawyer, anonymously if it is more comfortable, to find out where she stands on adopting this child. A couple would have more chance of adopting a child than a single person, but its not your issue. It is for your cousin and the biological mother of this child to discuss. Also, if the mothetr was raped by a family member, was the family member a blood relative?If so isnt there a chance the baby could have deformities of some description because of the shared gene pool? A child is a lifelong responsibility, so your cousin needs to think long and hard about taking this further.
2007-03-27 15:53:41 · answer #1 · answered by suzi Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the right choice. The fact is, it's NOT legal and if the law caught up to both you and your cousin, both of you would face legal action not to mention the possibility of incarceration. As a result, the adopted child will suffer at the hands of endless foster homes and social services the rest of it's life. Although your cousin's intentions are good, she nevertheless is thinking only for her own self interests. It's the child that would ultimately suffer in this case. I hope you don't back down from your decision.
2007-03-27 15:48:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants the baby she should have a talk about private adaption with the mother of child. Giving a baby away once you have adapted it doesn't seem legal to me at all, although I'm not a lawyer so I can't say for sure. If she really wants the baby then she should have a talk with the mother as it seems the mother wants to give the child up for adaption aways I don't think she'd have a problem with a private adaption between her and your cousin. Although if she's childish enough to say that she won't talk to you anymore if you don't do this for her she might not be ready for a child.
2007-03-27 15:49:29 · answer #3 · answered by Lys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
>>>
Hello, everyone.. Do you think that this is legal?
My cousin is a doctor (GYN) and she has a patient that is going to deliver a baby in two month's.
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forget the rest of the story - there's the illegal part right there - it sounds like a blatant breach of doctor-patient confidentiality that your cousin is telling her family members, including you, about her patients.
I would hope that wherever you are there are laws or restrictions as the norm to quash that sort of behavior. I hope those same in the USA stay firm.
2007-03-27 15:52:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I believe there would be a few problems with that legally, yes. She should just adopt the child on her own. She's the one being uncooperative. If she really wanted this child she would go through the process legally. I don't like the way she is acting about this. It's as if she wants the child, but not be legally responsible for it. I'd be careful.
2007-03-27 15:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by YouGotTold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is illegal but it is a question of what your senses tell you to do. my own mother adopted my sisters child when it was a baby. she was a single mother and she did it legally. In our thoughts about it, it was not the right thing to do at the time. one, it makes the childs mother a sister to her own child. It makes me a brother to my sisters child in stead of me being an uncle. And it just keeps going in that kind of a cycle.Also the child is grown now and has two children of his own. They actually have a real birth grandmother but his adoptive mother is now dead. So what do the children do? I can only speculate on a real answer.
2007-03-27 16:07:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should def adopt herself so she dont lose the child later in life after the attachment is made an if the only think holding her back is awkwardness then she is not ready to be a mother cuz mothers deal with awkward things everyday.....if it was legal people would do it daily right?
2007-03-27 15:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by luv2hate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not illegal but unethical. She should be up front with the mother and let her know she is adopting the baby. I see no reason why she should feel strange about taking it. If she is only worried about taking it immediately, maybe she could get the hospital to keep it a couple of days until the mother is discharged and then take it home.
2007-03-27 16:08:26 · answer #8 · answered by sissyd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound right at all. May be there are ethical problems for her if she takes the baby? I dont know but I wouldn't do it either. I mean if that is the only way she can have a baby there is something wrong with the situation and SHE isn't being a very good cousin by putting you in this situation.
2007-03-27 15:49:18 · answer #9 · answered by karena k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello....
She probably wants you guys to adopt the child because in her case it might be a conflict of interest.
Secondly...in America there is no set time to abort a Child....you can legally have partial birth abortion....so if she told her patient she could not abort because she was too far ahead, she was lying to her patient.
Third...you can not trade a child like it is real estate. This is against the law.
Please don't help her out no matter what she says.
I would like to clarify that I am against abortion....but that was not your question.
2007-03-27 16:19:09 · answer #10 · answered by Sabine5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋