He uses her car, lives in her house, and won't even get a job to help her pay rent. She won't even talk to me anymore. I have tried talking to her without mentioning what i thought of her boyfriend, but she just makes up excuses. I still want to be freinds. Is there anything i can do?
2007-03-27 15:29:54 · 16 answers · asked by advicegirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's hard to stand by and watch this happen,
but no
there is nothing you can really do.
except to let her know that when she falls
(and she will)
you will be there to help her pick up the pieces.
2007-03-27 15:34:49 · answer #1 · answered by retta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, that same sort of problem has been plaguing people people for years. In the end, any action you take will be seen as an attack on her new "love", and she will get defensive, and dig her heels in further.
Her boyfriend is probably filling her head with all sorts of crap about how nobody understands him, or likes him except her...makes her feel special, and isolating her from anybody not in her new special circle of her and her boyfriend. Anything you say only reinforces this feeling.
You just have to give her space, and let her fall. She won't open her eyes till she hits her own personal breaking point. When that happens, don't do the "I told you so" bit, just be there for her, that's all you can do.
Parents see this at least once for every child, and there is no way to appear non-meddling, or over controlling...you just have to watch the crash.
2007-03-27 22:45:25 · answer #2 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to mellow the friendship to avoid getting in the middle of their personal situation. You can still make sure that she knows you are always available to be her friend, or help her work through some of the things that you already see, that she has not seen just yet. Even if she makes what you think are bad choices, try to remain the supportive friend. The heart gets stronger and larger after some of our biggest mistakes. Have a great day!
2007-03-27 22:34:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lotsofwords 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I know what you mean. The only thing you could do is let her make a mistake because there is really nothing you can do, but be there(if you are still friends) when she needs you. It always happens like this. She's only blinded by what she think is love but it's going to hit her hard in the end. Sometimes you just have to let people make their own mistakes.
2007-03-27 22:45:06 · answer #4 · answered by Sxy is tha name 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to let the girl do what she wants. Although she isn't listening to you. The best way she will find out is by falling into the hole herself. But how you will know if she changes is if she moves on from her boyfriend or the boyfriend will change his lifestyle. The best thing you can do is not to bring up the topic. Let her find out on her own or by her other friends. Just my opinion though.
2007-03-27 22:36:49 · answer #5 · answered by Successor 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to do is tell her straight...."he's using you!" it sounds like your friend likes him so she is making up excuses for him to cover up events and facts that she knows is true but doesn't want to face or admit......it could be that she likes him that much through his flaws or it could be that she has confronted him about it and he won't change who he is....what you need to do is help her get over him and make her realize that this is improper and dispicable for her bf to be doing this...this is not a regualr relationship habit...and if she can't face the facts then you'll just have to live with it until she is ready to come to her senses and see how unfair and unjust this is. so try to stay away from the topic of her bf completley and that may help your friendship get off the rocks
2007-03-27 22:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to be really friendly and non-judgemental when talking to your friend about her boyfriend. Instead of bashing him, tell her what you think a real guy should do and ask why he doesn't do the same so maybe she'll be more agreeable and listen to you. .
2007-03-27 22:35:45 · answer #7 · answered by Mody1704 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one of these things they have to learn on there own. I know you want to take care of your friend. But she needs to fall and get up on her own. She will wake up one day and realize what is going on. The best thing you can do is be there for her as much as you can.
2007-03-27 23:00:48 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go, till she hits bottom, she Will come back. Anything else and she will say your jealous or it's none of your business and you will lose her for good, chances are she knows hes no good for her but can't see it yet and if you spell it out for her you will spoil her short lived fun.
2007-03-27 22:36:04 · answer #9 · answered by Right 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation as you with one of my friends. I can tell you you'll definitely only make things worse if you tell her what you know to be true. If she really loves him she's going to dodge everything you tell her. Just try to stay out of it for the benefit of your friendship.
2007-03-27 22:33:07 · answer #10 · answered by Kim H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋