I have never...?

Question

What have you never done? Most original answer wins!

I HAVE NEVER:

Juggled spider monkeys in a bar in Tobago while doing a lay back margherita with a mariarchi band playing in the background... Honest

.

Answer 1

...tangoed with the Devil's daughter on the gleaming shores of Io, a moon vast and distant and cruel yet beautiful in its savagery. She leads, and dips me backward against the craggy landscape, howling like the ivory-skinned banshee that she is. And even if it's my last breath I eagerly taste Io's smoky arctic wind through every last vessel and artery, stars dying by the thousands behind her bottomless, glassy pupils...her laughter rends me to dust, and I dissipate, happily, into the unlit crevices as somewhere, someone calls my name in vain..........

Answer 2

Tongue kissed a Galapagos finch while driving a Gremlin during the Final Four all the while picking dry phlegm flecks off Britney's bald head in the middle of Pago Pago.

Answer 3

I have never taken a Naked human and put them in our underground zoo on the 347th floor of our technologically advanced city with the other weird creatures such as the three headed fire breathing dragons and the mermaid who will turn you to stone.if you look at her while she drinks a bourbon and coke.and dances a lap dance on a silver backed gorillas lap.
as we always put cloths on the humans, mostly hairless body's before we put them on display.Y'all

signed;Forest Sky Yeti the 14th
of the Mighty Bigfoot Klan of N. America

Answer 4

I have never
Ran through an ape habitat with peanut butter and bananas spread all over my body because I lost a bet over why the chicken would cross the road.

Answer 5

Seen Americal Idol, or Survivor, or Greys Anatomy. or Lost, or Big Brother.... I could keep going, but It would bore...

Answer 6

I can't even attempt to top that. Wish I could give back your two points.

Answer 7

Died.