Why do we insist on holding grudges or supporting anger no matter how much it hurts us to do so?

Answer 1

One of the answers I have found is on Love Language Site on a ten second quiz on what is your love language and forgiveness language. I found out that to forgive, if the person says they are sorry, they need to tell me how they are going to keep from doing it again, or I will be in fear of them. This site is very helpful

Answer 2

From my own experiences I find it comes from pride, when I'm hurt I have in the past lashed out (not by punching anyone). You feel hurt, let down and its not a nice thing for any one to go through but its a part of life and its the way we deal with things.

I learnt a long time ago (and the hard way) that life is too short to hold any gridges, I mean think about this, the person that made you feel this way, I bet they're going about their life unaffected, why let them get to you, you're better than that

Good luck, and at the end of the day, the best advice is always your own advice as no one knows you better than you.

Answer 3

___Anger and resentment, like most human emotions, are subject to being reiterated upon themselves, and to snowballing. This also occurs with depression and anxiety. Though the initial emotion or mood is generally a response to some event, the secondary emotion results because we let it happen, and haven't developed the discipline to nip it in the bud.
___Faulty indignation is often the problem with snowballing anger and resentment. It is a rush to feel "RIGHT" about some issue with moral content. It has all kinds of self-congratulatory self-esteem boosters built into it. This is self-righteousness, and is one of the top corrupting motivators in human affairs, though in our era, its force is usually ignored. In our materialistic age, we prefer to focus on "following the money" when looking for corruption, as we allow self-righteous corruptions to occur without exposure.
___With this sort of conventional sanction it should be no surprise that self-righteousness can infect our anger and resentment. Grudges are endorsed by conventional wisdom in this manner, despite explicit claims that grudges are bad things. Just look at politics today for an overflowing of self-righteousness unchecked. No wonder we hold grudges.

Answer 4

We try not to so we're not in so much pain. Whatever grudge you are holding on to please do something about it - talk to the person who may have hurt you. As for your anger, well that's up to you to let go of and you need to try - all of these negatives feelings will suck up all of your energy and you may not have any left to feel happy!

Answer 5

i no longer do but i once did. i have heard it said that being angry is like holding a wolf by the ears-- you just can't seem to let go, and also, holding anger is like acid in a vesel; it destroys the vessel that holds it.

Answer 6

cos we are attempting to stand up for our selves and not let our selves be used and abiused, some times we get out of hand doing this and can obliterate the original point which was you shouldnt treat me like that. If you then act like a prick trying to state this out, you do deserve to be treated like a prick.

Answer 7

Because we think that forgiving is a sign of weakness, and are more afraid of showing weakness and risking being disappointed again than we are of forgiving. This is (IMHO) wrong, I think that it takes much more strength to forgive and have faith in people, but, well, that's not human nature.

Answer 8

Your mind is primitive and closed to all reasoning when you're angry. Your prime motive is to get revenge and you can't stop until you release it. Then afterwards you regret you're simple mindedness because you realize now that there are consequences to what you did while you were angry.

Answer 9

Because of the most destructive part of our lives (if not kept in check) - Ego.

Answer 10

Because we are afraid of forgiving the
person and find ourselves hurting again...