help my son talks and tells me he always hates me to death and wants to leave?

Question

i have my 10yr old son living with me and i don;t know what to do,,he told me today that i lie and my nose is getting bigger.he lies a lot and people have told him that lots of times...i;m having serious surgery next Tuesday and I'm worried that i might not make it out of there [hospital.it;s a major intestinal surgery and if i don;t get it done i will get cancer with no cures..now with him telling me how much he hates me and wants to go live Ina foster home...he;s never been to one ;but today i spanked hhim 2swats on his but for calling me the f word with idiot at the end,,,i do everything for him and he doesn;t think he has to ever listen or be nice to me.i told him itls not gonna be his Wat; and that i;m three boss,i'm all he has as he dad was killed fishing 5yrs ago,,,i even have his friends come to play and feed them and go Wat out of my way to try to get along....my surgery is this coming Tuesday for a 6hr surgery ;and with all this crap going on I'll probably won;t sleep for 7days

Answer 1

awwwwww.....you poor dear. I'm sorry children can be so cruel.

hope your sergery goes well. if you believe in god I'll say a prayer for you.

just tell you son that you love him and that you care for him. he may not act like he is listening but if he has ears he will listen.

good luck!

Answer 2

I'm sorry your having such a bad time with the surgeries and all. I hope it all works out well for you.

As for your son, he has already lost one parent and there is a possibility that the second parent is in jeopardy. Have you tried to get him some kind of consoling. (When my gf hubby died her boys were 6 and 8. They had a rough time and the consoling helped.) However, my son was about 10 when he called me a m-f. I backhanded him across the room, he never used those words again.

I hate to say this, but you may be spoiling him (just a little) because of the loss of your hubby. Perhaps don't give him everything and start making him earn things - but only after your have recovered. You don't need another battle right now.

I wish you good luck and my prayers are with you.

Answer 3

You have a major surgery going on and I am sure you have probably talked to him about this. He has already lost his father and when you talk to a child about surgery, they are just as scared that you won't come back as you are. Talk with him about his feelings about what is going on and let him know the game plan for what will happen in case things don't go well. Let him know who he is staying with while you are in the hospital and what will happen when you come out. Let him know you will call him and he can come see you after the surgery. Let him know that you love him even though he may hate you at this moment and that will never change and it is okay for him to be mad,that you will be there for him.

Most of all be understanding that you are all he has and he is scared. Best of luck with surgery.

Answer 4

Hes pissed off, He lost his dad and now hes afraid hes gonna lose you. Its a protective measure, hes gonna try his best to hate you and push you away so that it wont hurt him so much if anything does happen to you.He may be only 10 years old but he has the concept of death and to a 10 year old thats scarry. Be calm with him, right now, just let it slide, tell him that you love him and that you wont leave him. And that when you get out of the hospital you want him to be the first thing you see. After every thing is alright, then you can start going to therapy to address his issues.

Answer 5

Well whatever his reasons are.. they need to be looked at. Maybe counselling. But for now... If my kid treated me like that she would basically get nothing to eat, but what I make for me.. no favorite snacks. the same school lunch, whatever I feel like making. No tv. No friends over or phone calls. In order to be treated like a human with a life, my kids need to acutally show basic human curtesy.... I would make his life living h e l l until he smartens up... and I would also look into the WHY...

Answer 6

Get a sitter to take him for a couple days. Plus, don't lie, even if it's a little white lie. He thinks when you do it, he can do it. A lie is a lie to a child. Plus, he is 10, if I had a dollar everytime one of my 3 told me thay hated my I could buy a car. 30 years later... they don't even remember saying it!

Answer 7

Have you done something wrong to him that you forgot about?
Maybe he misses his father

Maybe he wants to be independent for once and do some things on his own

OR maybe he doesn't like your rules


Im turning 6th grade this june and i don't talk to my parents that much

Maybe he is seeking some privacy and time alone or with his friends

Im not saying you bribe him..im just saying maybe you are too tight sometimes or you embarassed him

Answer 8

Omg i believe so undesirable for you, that must be so painful and particularly having a extreme surgical treatment and additionally having ur son hate you.i believe very undesirable for you,i'm hoping your relationship chnages with you and your son. do you hav any concept why he would of began hating you?

Answer 9

first of all I am so sorry to hear that u are going through so much.but maybe since he already lost his dad he maybe thinks the same about u so he wants to block it out the only way he knows how,and that is to be mean to u so he does not have to deal with it later.

Answer 10

OMG that little disrestepctful THING. i have said i hate u to my mom ONCE and i was 6 so i didnt know better. HE is HORRABLE! i would NEVER treat my mother that way ESPECIALLY if she is having life threatning surgury.

And my mom isnt even as nice as u, i mean she wil not let me have friends, and she spanks me and yells at me, but i still respect her for who she is, my mother. and i love her.

that THING better learn some R-E-S-P-E-C-T!!!! maybe counciling or, as soon as he comes home lock him in his room. or take away his TV, ect.

U poor thing, i really cant believe this, ESPECIALLY when ur about to have surgery!