Coming out !!!?

Question

Some people say just do it but it isnt that simples on my mom sides she has 12 brothers and sisters and i have countless cousins so my admediate family is huge i dont know how i can break the news to all of them there all southern blk baptist. Its gonna be incrdedibly hard. And I dont want to embarrase my parents.My dads side is actually open there are tons of gays and they already dont really like me so ...... it dosent matter how do i come out to all those people,i already caught my dad saying that i was a dissapointment to him and i was the weirded son a guy could ask for and i dont want to break his heart people are already going bazurk because my cousin came out with al these family mebers i dont know how i can do this this has been eating my up inside12 years and im 16 and im starting to get emotional and mental problems ive becom psycotic bulimic and depressed and suicidal i cant take this anymore im putting up a front of who i am everyday my life is awful. I have to come out .

but its just so many people its like i have a mexican family..

Should I write a note or is that tacky I have to come out because i feel gross inside like im just holding back toxins that need realease.

So whats the easiest way to come out should i tell them i have cancer a 3 monthes to live then say sike im just gay .. Thats what my friends told me to do.

Answer 1

"My dads side is actually open there are tons of gays and they already dont really like me so..."

Could it be because you seduced your gay cousin's boyfriend and have publicly announced you intend to do so again and again??

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Atqqy0uEOkTJm2HETSdAmkbty6IX?qid=20070327122438AA4ilCy&show=7#profile-info-yg8g7N9Oaa

When you first talked about coming out to your family I was very sympathetic to your position. Since your arrogant and unremorseful admission earlier today about screwing your cousin's boyfriend, I don't much care what happens to you.

Answer 2

I know how you feel. When I turned 20 ( I know it's kinda slow in the gay world), I felt the same way. Only my family is really small, and there are NO gays in any part of my family tree. And my family is kind of homophobic, but I decided I had to tell them. Bottling up everything is obviously not helping you, and you really should get it out. Since you're only 16 you might consider starting with some of your gay relatives and see if they'll lend a helping hand if your folks take it badly. And then just tell them, and tell them how much stress you've been under hiding it from them. Worst case scenario, they'll throw you out. But I've met a lot of gay people, and that only happened to one or two of them. Most importantly, you just have to stick by your guns. Tell them you're gay and don't let them try to change that. My parents nearly disowned me when I told them, and when they put the question to me of being part of the family or being gay, I told them I already made my choice and it was up to them to throw me out. It was their last ditch effort to get me to not be gay, and when it failed they kept me in the family. In the end, I get along with them great, and though we don't talk about it there's not much weirdness around it anymore. So good luck, but I'm sure it'll go smoothly. Just be confidant.

Answer 3

if you're that scared, get a support group. Either a really good friend or some of the relatives in your family that have come out. Or some of the more open minded relatives who know your parents well and how to approach the situation.

Answer 4

"this has been eating my up inside12 years and im 16"

You've thought you were gay since you were 4? I'm impressed.

If it seems to be too much, you don't necessarily have to come out to everyone. You can start with only those who are close to you, and then go from there. You don't have to do it all at once, that definitely could make it tough. Do it at whatever pace feels best to you.

Answer 5

This kind of family should make it easier to come out. I know you love your family and would hate to lose them, but think of it this way:

There are 3 options.

You tell them and they accept you, and everything is good.
You tell them and they disown you, but you don't have to live in shame or secrecy.
You never tell them and live a lie, and have false relationships with each of them.

Do what you think is right, but remember that the most important person in this situation is YOU.

Answer 6

well you really need to be ready and comfortable when you do this. you cannot force yourself to do this if you're not ready.

but for me when i came out, i asked my parents:
"mom, dad, what would you say to me if i told you i was gay?"
they said, nothing. so i said, it:
"i'm gay."

but really, i'm trying to stay away from labels, so i don't call myself gay anymore.

i'm just a regular guy that likes regular guys who's into guys themselves.

Answer 7

ur getting 2 the point were its really serious so u should tell them everything and as for ur dad this is about how u feel not how he feels and if ur family turns ur back on u, u still have ur friends.

Answer 8

Do not come out! It is no one's business but your own. You do not have to come out. Coming out if you are not forced out is just unnecessary. No one really cares anyway. It doesn't change who you are. You are not hiding who you are you are protecting your privacy. You can not go back in after you come out.

Answer 9

you have to tell them...you can't live this way. my sister wrote a letter and photo copied it .. she sent it to all of us and said if we had any questions to ask. it's easier to put it on paper i think...tell them you love them and don't want to cause pain, but that you have been in pain too long and need to be true to yourself...good luck honey...i'll be thinking of you