Is it possible for my friend to get through college with two children and no other sources of income?

Question

I have a friend, she's 25 years old with two kids, and her current boyfriend is practically another child, who is financially, socially, and relationship..ally challenged. She works at a job that pays her enough to get by, and then whatever is left goes to cover her boyfriends half of bills(most of the time). She really wants to go to law school so she can do what she loves doing, and make a good life for her children. Is there anyway she can do this? I've told her just get rid of the guy, he's just leaching off of her, and unless he can pull his weight and then some he wouldn't be any help. She has a hard time kicking him out though because he's not a horrible person overall, and she doesn't want her second child to have to go without his father like her oldest son.

What advice would you give? Anyone going through or gone through the same thing?

Thanks.

Answer 1

I worked my way through nursing school with 4 kids. I was very, very determined. During that time, I didn't have any social life or any outside activities. I worked 36 hours a week, cooked everything from scratch because I couldn't afford convenience foods, only bought the absolute necessities. Not even a hamburger at Mickey D's. I remember having to make an appointment with myself to take a shower. On the plus side, I had a wonderful sister in law who helped me as much as she could, doing some housework and errands with the kids. I was VERY disciplined.

I agree with you about the guy, but she has to want to unload him. I don't know that her worries about the child going without his father is valid. What is the guy doing for that child right now? Other than setting a poor example?

Has she done some problem solving? Could the guy be eased out the door to go live in a room mate situation? Could she give him notice that he needs to go, giving him time to get a job and save some to move on? Why is she helping him with his bills? Is he doing housework to earn his keep? Has she considered that he may be depressed and insist that he go to counseling and get on with his life? Is she enabling him to stay how he is? Does she get something out of him staying as is?

She has to make up her mind what she wants. If she really wants to go to law school she can, but she's going to have to have a burning desire to do it. Only obsessive desire for the goal will get her through all it will take for her to reach her goal. If she doesn't have "fire in the belly", she won't make it.

As her friend, all you can do is be supportive and encourage her.