now im asking about my mil?

Question

she tells my husband stuff that his mood with me is not nice.she is a sneeky woman she has turned him against me..he keeps telling me im a bad person and im a liar,,i dont understand what i lie about i only tell him the truth that what ever he hears about me is a lie he tells me to shutup..how can i make him believe me.why is she ruining our happiness? she hates me but does she hate her son too cuz shes making him unhappy by her complaints about me,..i seriously dont know what she tells him that he totally changes his mood with me and tells me im a bad person what could she say? what do i do? im home all day taking care of the baby i dont answer back to her...check this out...she has turned him and a few people aganist me meanwhile shes keeping herself good with me..she'll be so sweet hugs kisses..but u know wht i know shes evil i have heard with my own ears at times.

Answer 1

He's in a bad mood after he's been around her complaining about you because she kills his self esteem. She's basically telling him she doesn't approve of his choice in a wife and mother of her grandchild. She's making him choose sides between you and her, that sucks, I've been there. The best you can do is 1) not try to defend yourself. 2) Don't say anything negative about her 3) Don't let her come between you. If she does come between you after you do all this he will shut her up. She will drive a wedge between herself and her son unless she stops. NO ONE will EVER be good enough for her son. Just stand back and take care of the baby and love him, she's just a noise in the background! Keep your head held high! If you've done nothing wrong there's nothing to defend. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Hi friend,
I am sad to know your situation. But don’t worry this would not last for too long.
1. when your husband is around make sure you do not insult your MIL in any way. Respect her infront of her. Let me feel that you respect your MIL no matter what she says or does to you. NO man likes that his mother is disrespected by his wife. So try this first. I do not mean than behind his back you should not respect her. You should pay the due respect to her always.
2. I am not aware of who does the house hold choirs whether you have servants etc. do your best to help your MIL in the kitchen. I am sure she would like this.
3. try to understand what are the complaints she makes about you. Try and solve them. Give your explanation. If you think you were at fault then apologize.
4. if you MIL acts nice to you on face and bitches behind you, don’t worry. I am sure your hubby knows all this. But don’t tell him yourself. He knows he understands everything. Do not complaint to him. Let your MIL do all this complaint job. Be happy and cheerful. All husbands like cheerful wives…. And not nagging sulky wives. So try this out.
5. whenever you are confronted only then answer. Give explanation and make sure that you do not sound rude to anyone.
6. you have to be close to your husband , he has to trust you to believe you. So give him all the support you can and he would surely love you. If you also complaint all the time like your MIL he will get frustrated and since he cannot shout at his mother he will surely shout at you. So after his hard tiresome day at office, when he comes back home don’t open your list of complaints …. He knows what all his mother has been doing around with you … and he knows that in spite of all this his wife is welcoming him with a huge smile. He would like this.
NOW the most important thing. I am not sure what complaints your MIL is making against you. How much of it is true and how much is false… this only you know. So I would suggest that if you think there is any scope of improvement in you then please do. I am sure no mother wants his son to be unhappy, if she is doing that , I think is unhappy herself. So you should try to make her happy as well with your love and respect for her. I hope you solve the matters soon. Thanks.

Answer 3

hey,

been in a similar situation, and sympathise. There is no way u can convince a man that an old frail lady who is his mom is poison. The poor guy is tired from work. If she fills him up with complaints try and address them calmly explain and don't get defensive.

Most Importantly change your tactics. She spoils his mood, you cheer him. Ask her to handle the baby's nap and surprise him at work. Have Lunch or coffee together, make a movie date fo the weekend whatever it takes to bring back the smile on his face. If he has any special hobbies try to take an interest ....

Soon in his brain the equation will be
Mom = nag nag bad news,
wife = lovely fun woman.

believe me the situation will resolve itself. Good luck

Answer 4

Stop with all the he-say she-say stuff, lady! You are a grown woman. So, act like it! You keep acting like this, then I dread how the both of you will raise the baby. The both of you MUST work this out for the sake of the children.

Your husband knows his mother. It is not up to you to change her lying ways. That is not to say that you have to put up with them either. If your husband wants to visit his mother, fine! But, make him understand that she is no longer welcome in your house, and that you will respect her house by not going over there, as well.

If there are family gatherings that you know she will be attending, and you have an obligation to attend, then act like a mature adult and go. But, do not surround yourself with her presence, and the shorter period of time that you are there, the better. If you should encounter her, then may I suggest that you be polite and as brief as possible. Say hello and keep moving.

Also, do not deprive her from seeing her grandchildren. Allow your husband to take them to their grandmother for periodic visits.

HIS MOTHER IS MENTALLY ILL! You do not have to tell him this fact, either. He knows it! He just does not know how to handle it. It is not going to get any better. Therefore, I suggest that the both of you face facts and get counseling. It does not mean that she is incapacitated, it only means that she has become ill to the point of mentally making false accusations and exerting unacceptable behavior (which will definitely occur more frequently).

She is also driving him 'insane'. Seek help IMMEDIATELY!

Answer 5

I agree with Kate. No harm in trying it.

Answer 6

DIVORCE that COWARD son of a *****.