How many people have separated due to whatever problems and ended up working things out and what were the circumstances? My husband and I have separated and I was just wondering what the odds were. There are no other people involved. I had asked him to quit his job and stay at home temporarily with the 3 kids (7 and 3 yr olds are mine and the 11 week old is ours). We had discussed it and he was all for it at first, but couldn't take it when it happened. He moved out and now blames me and is very angry at me for him not having a job. We thoroughly discussed it before he quit and he was all for it. (He hated his last job, too.) Now he resents me even though he had a choice and says I manipulated him because I didn't want the baby in daycare. He also says he still loves me and wishes things could be like they were in the begining. Any advise?
2007-03-27 14:20:18 · 7 answers · asked by Nikki W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not sure that he wants to take care of the family. He wants his own money and always complained when he had to give me too much of it when he did work. I am far too independant to quit my job. He has walked out on me before and if I didn't have my job, me and the kids would have been on the streets.
2007-03-27 14:35:30 · update #1
well My Advice is Take a weekend away together,find a family member you trust 100% and go away and take the weekend end to talk and try and find a solution for the Both of your Problems.It can be all worked out with compromise and love.You have 3 kids that you both seem to love very much who need a mom and a Dad.Maybe he can go back to work and you stay home you may have to give things up but in the end it will be worth it.OR maybe you 2 can work different shift so one of you will always be with the kids.OR you could get a part time job to help financially.
2007-03-27 14:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then go back to when things were good. Some men just cant handle motherhood, no matter how macho they think they are. They just arent a good match for a couple of kids. It sounds really easy at first til you get there and wow what a nightmare. In doing your suggestion, your husband probably thought you killed him and all of a sudden his job was not so bad after all. Now you know your suggestion isnt going to work so time for plan B to save your marriage and dealing with the kids. So get right back to whee you started from and try it again but dont suggest him as babysitter. Get a nanny instead. Good luck
2007-03-27 14:30:59 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I answered this for you before, but here it goes again...He wants to be the man. He wants to be the sole provider for the family. You need to quit your job and let your husband go back to work, and be a man. Take care of your kids! If you really want to save your marriage, and his sanity, put in your resignation and stay at home. Quit asking questions on Y!A and take some action! Let the poor guy have his manhood back! He thought he could handle being the stay at home parent, but the truth of the matter is that he wants to be a man and provide for his family! You should be thrilled you have such a great husband! Now go take care of this now!
My hubby and I were separated, no other people involved. You can read my question if you'd like. Please feel free to email me too.
Good luck!
2007-03-27 14:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married in July of 89. Everything was fine until November of 2003. We split because of a lack of communication plus trying to take care of her parents farm +
4 rental houses became impossible when I wasn't provided with what I needed. I want you to picture 4 horses, 8 dogs and 14 cats. My Mother inlaw took in every animal that had been dumped. To make a long story short, When my Father inlaw passed away I told them what I needed to take care of all that. When they ignored me and expected me to do it with
what I not only didn't have but they expected me to. I gave back every key I had and said," I won't be needing these since your wallet is so tight". Then I was removed from the property because I refused to be their slave. Then 5 years later I plan on remarring my ex on the same day we were originally. Things do have a way of working themselves out, just be patient.
2007-03-27 14:41:54 · answer #4 · answered by Williamstown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all that, and then he says he still loves you. cha! things will never be like they were in the beginning - not with all of those rugrats - and obviously he abandoned all of you by leaving and wants you to handle it all! I'm just kidding, I have a 7 yr old, a 3 yr old, and a 7 mo old!! I am in a similar situation myself. Just hang in there! We'll take care of the rugrats on our own!
2007-03-27 14:32:18 · answer #5 · answered by Virgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man is raised thinking he should be the breadwinner.....don't ask him to change over night though it might make sense to you
Kinda like does your husband go to the store and decide what linen to buy?, what drapes to hang?, what appliances.....? if it doesn't sit well with you then how do you think you can go out and buy him a toolbox he'll like? Different taste for two different sexes
2007-03-27 14:30:37 · answer #6 · answered by suporzero 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get this fixed for the kids. Stop being selfish.
2007-03-28 01:39:41 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋