This is a poem/short story thing. Tell me what u think. ( It's based on Cinderella!)
Ashley, Ashley,
So quaint and polite,
Wanted to be out with the rest, one special night
It was Dillon’s sweet sixteen,
No doubt, it would be better than the queen’s.
He was one of the richest in the land,
Rumor had it there would be a live band.
But her evil stepmother Suzie said “NO”, she couldn’t go,
Suzie’s heart was colder than freshly fallen snow.
She had to stay and work at her coffee shop, Linx,
Where she would stay all night and brew up new drinks.
But Ashley’s Angel came to save her, there was only 1 rule;
She had to be home by 12 o’clock, or things would not be cool.
Ashley found Dillon and they danced all night long,
But as Ashley was leaving, she was turned into a frog.
Being a frog would be her fate,
All because, she left the party late.
What Dillon did not know was that his kiss would change her back.
Luckily for Ashley, a good-night kiss was something she didn’t lack.
It must have been true love,
Or his kiss wouldn’t have worked.
Nothing messes with true love,
Because it’s magic at work.
2007-03-27 13:02:37 · 13 answers · asked by iluvvball213 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
yeah! I liked that alot! Great poem/story! Two thumbs up!
2007-03-27 13:06:10 · answer #1 · answered by Fluffy Rover 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lenghen the verses at beginning and end to match the middle. Good rhyme, but lack of a chanting meter, the earmark of a successfully tempered poem.
Still, I don't know how long you worked on it, but, the theme works and you should revisit it to hone out its flaws. I'd like to see a finished product, if you ever do finish it..
2007-03-27 13:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cool! So Modern-Cinderella!
2007-03-27 13:08:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
meh u are no longer the bid deal and that i dont be attentive to who that katrina female is, btw u are no longer fat and supply up posting photographs of ur skinny physique with a tittle im fat! in any different case u will kill one hundred different anorexic ladies accessible.
2016-10-20 02:24:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
on a scale of one to ten with ten being the highest, i'd give it a five
2007-03-27 13:06:57 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poem is okay, it's not that interesting and it's not that boring.
2007-03-27 13:09:21 · answer #6 · answered by Little-one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very sweet! i like it! Good job!
2007-03-27 13:07:04 · answer #7 · answered by Katy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the truth is i was too lazy to read the whole thing...
2007-03-27 13:06:34 · answer #8 · answered by indieassassin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very very cute.
2007-03-27 13:08:17 · answer #9 · answered by Marenight 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very ugly
2007-03-27 13:07:41 · answer #10 · answered by Mari§§a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋