I Just Want To Know Am I Wrong. Sorry its long?

Question

Now I have this friend and he has a felony and in my state a felon can not hold a state lisence (ie nurse, barber,etc.) So I told him this because I had just learned it in my Law class. Now we were talkinng and he said that he wanted to be in aviation, (the only thing i know about aviation is it has something to do with planes) and I asked him if those people have to get a state lisence( trying to see if they are lisenced like pilots you know just like a national lisence) and he blew up at me and had his hand in my face and was cursing at me. We were at my family's house and I just told him to get the F*&^ out and then everyone acted like it was my fault! Now when I spoke to him again he said that i was putting him down and not ecouraging him by asking the question, but I told him that he is a grwon a$$ man an d I am not his cheerleader but i do encourage him all the time but no more because he has burned his bridges with me by cursing me at my familes
Am I wrong?

Answer 1

First let go of trying to be right or wrong about what happened. Now clear all the meaning you've attached to what happened. When you have let go of being right or wrong and any meaning to what happened, I dare you to reread what you wrote, only this time as you read,LISTEN as if you were your friend...... then imagine what your friend hears and then makes it mean......
Hear is what it sounds like to me. Who you are is a person being responsible for educating yourself in the field of law. Good for you, but re read and is it possible that who you are sounds like a person being right? dominate? trying to win? perhaps invalidating? Might be hard to admit, but consider this is what your friend hears???? I hear it. Now consider that being a cheerleader is giving up being right (i know you can't get a license cause law class say's so), encourage your friend to investigate and find this out on his own. Give up being dominate (get the **** out) and let your friends self expression come alive. Give up trying to win (I'm right cause you don't act like a grown man) and create vitality and wellbeing for you friend. Last give up invalidating your friend (because you are a felon, you can't.......) allowing him to seek his own fufillment and happiness.
Understand I hear your support and intentions to encourage. What is wrong is when people don't acknowledge a "fixed" way we are being (right, wrong, winner, loser etc) with another and never try on what it sounds like to another and that it costs love, affinity,vitality, wellbeing,self expression, satisfaction,fufillment and/or happiness to exist.

Answer 2

Sounds like this man really needs to grow up and start being realistic about life in general. Doesn't sound like your fault! You asked a legit question. Were you supposed to just go along with it and give him false hopes? No! I'm sure partly why he got upset is because it must be difficult to have such an important thing working against you keeping you from a lot of great careers! I've been involved in avaition in several different careers and w/o a clean background (to pass those background checks!) it's probably not going to happen. Jobs around planes are not taken lightly! I'm an Air Traffic Controller with a past in Transportation Security making people take their shoes off, lol, along with aviation maintenance that I went to school for. I don't think he could even work on a ramp throwing luggage around w/o a super clean record......anyway, reality sucks sometimes but you were right!

Answer 3

It sounds like he was just really upset because he realized he couldn't become a pilot (which is generally what aviation means). In now way was it your fault. You simply pointed out HE was not allowed to hold a license because of a crime HE committed. If he wanted a nice life with the career of his choice, he should have thought of that before committing a felony. And I agree that he can't expect you to be his "cheerleader"- you pointed out a fact!

However, you can try to be more compassionate toward him and maybe help him help a career that he would like that doesn't require a license.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

I can see it both ways maybe he was trying to front in front of your family and you just called him out and it embarrassed him. But he was most definitely wrong for disrespecting you at your family's house if anything your family members should have been mad at him for acting like a jerk. Then on the other side you knew he had a felony and that he could probably not get an license so you bring up what you said might have felt like a jab to him he might have wanted you to probably praise him for wanted to think he could do that.

Answer 5

You are not wrong.

You were right to kick him out.

Do not see him or associate with him again EVER.

If everyone acted like it was your fault, then everyone is WRONG.

I mean this. I have seen this happen too many times and escalate. He had no right to put his hand in your face and use that language. He obviously has SERIOUS anger management issues and needs help, BUT YOUR SAFETY MUST COME FIRST.

I am NOT blowing this out of proportion, I have seen in MY OWN LIFE what can happen with these kinds of people.

Get rid of Him from your life.

This is NOT a "friend".

Answer 6

i wouldnt say u are wrong. im not too sure about usa but i think to b a private pilot ur felony wont affect u getting a ppl but it would affect u getting a cpl (commercial) licence. it all comes down to whether or not the airline company believes you can be a good employee or not. if u lie to them about it they will find out and ur ass is grass after that. it also depends on wat the crime is as to whether the safety authority believes u to be safe to fly an aircraft and not be a danger to anyone else in the air at the time. i've had friends in similar situations and ive also told them where to go.

Answer 7

Maybe your tone was a bit harsh when you told him that? From what I see here, it's not your fault. Maybe your friend (who certainly isn't acting like one) is just hyper-sensitive.

Try saying something along the lines of, "If I said something to offend you, I'm sorry, but what you said was extremely rude. I was only trying to help."

Or you could just move on and find new friends. I would have problems forgiving a friend that said those things to me.

Answer 8

ofcourse not you are not wrong, but next time try to becareful, because once you see a person go to jails for felony that person is not the same person again. he took what you have said to him as a insult, so don't talk to him about he's problems anymore, because not everyone likes to hear the truth. if he asked you a question you can answer please do so. but if you can't don't bother, and when you are answering his questions try not to be too graphic about those questions again like you did the last time ok.

Answer 9

He has some bad anger issues. Tell him he shouldn't take it personal you do not hold his past against him and would never insult him. But he has some bad self control issues to talk to you like that. I bet it's that temper that got him the felony to begin with. If he wants back tell him to go to an anger support group with you or something. and that's IF you want him back. If not it's your life and don't do what you don't want. Especially with relationships. Cause if your not happy he'll be miserable.

Answer 10

Well, somebody told me once:

Privatlely reprimands a friend and cheer him in public

You encourage your friends always,no matter what,it is difficult to hear from a friend questioning about a desire we have to do something for good.Both were wrong, he for cursing and not be patience and you for cursing back and in public,so both have to forgive and forget.

Just talk to him and try to work things out, he needs you now and life is too short.