Are women better off today?

Question

Has feminism made women more like men instead of creating a more fair society? Sure women can do anything men can, and I've always felt that we're equally valuable - but heck, the stuff that made women so awsome is all gone.They're not the nurturers they once were - they're like men now. They're selfish and express exagerated sexuality. Since women are like men, there's no incentive to marry anymore. The only incentive would be sex, but sex is cheap these days.

Before you think I'm a sexist, know that I have women's concerns at heart. Women today live increasingly isolated and unfulfilling lives. Yes, they can afford the lifestyles they choose, but there doesn't seem to be a richness to their lives. All I see lately in women is either single-motherhood or perpetual childhood.

Have women lost something in what they've gained?

Can women only have pride if they're like men these days?

Have we forgotten to honor the differences in sexes?

Baba, keep your insults to yourself. You're a perfect example of what I mean when I say "perpetual childhood". You sound miserably unhappy. Go away.

Rio, you're another one that sounds miserably unhappy. Your agressive manner suggests to me that you're putting up an act because the life you prefered, you failed at. I suggest psycho-therapy for you.

Answer 1

Didn't woman start going to work during war times? I personally think that a lot has suffered because of the woman's lib movement. But I really believe that if a woman has to work to take care of her family and does the same job as a man , she should get paid the same.

Then I have seen woman that go to work despite the fact they have children and their spouses can support them while their grow children grow up, and in some cases, it's sad. They end up spending their pay on daycare. I know because I used to watch children for working mothers and it didn't make sense to me. They just wanted to be away from home.

I had to work and balance a home. I didn't really have the support even though I should have. I still believe the man of the home should be the head of the home, if he's a real man and committed as one. But now I see that men have forgot how or maybe never learned how to treat a lady. I am from the old school at heart but I think things have got out of hand. Some people just don't have their priorities in order.

And I, am not built like a man so doing the work that's only a man could do would seem hopeless to me. I have learned a lot but I am still a woman.
Megan

Answer 2

I think women have gained independence from men, which is a good thing. My Grandma was totally dependent on my Grandpa for everything because she had no formal education and did not have a career. Therefore, she was kind of demoted to a "second class citizen" in my opinion.

What feminism has done is make it a more even playing field for men and women. Women have careers and bring home a paycheck. Now if the marriage is intolerable, she can still bring in an income and escape a bad situation. That is why the divorce rate is so high now. Women have a choice they never used to have.

I don't believe we are ever "like" men. I do believe that it certainly has to be good for the man to have his wife bring home half (if not more) of the income for the family. Imagine the stress for the man to have to provide everything!

What women have lost is their years staying home to care for babies and pre-schoolers. Some women have that luxury but the majority do not. It takes two incomes now.

If women live isolated and unfulfilling lives, I believe it their own fault. It doesn't need to be that way in 2007. Likely, it is caused by bad decisions they have made for themselves.

Answer 3

The answer to your question is yes. Woman ARE better off. They have more choices, and have the freedom and ability to be self-sufficient. That being said, women can choose to be "nurturers" if they are so inclined, but if they happen to not fit that mold, they are not "forced" into it through societal pressures and biases that tell them that women "have" to be a certain way.

Have we lost something? No. We have gained a lot.

And all you see now is "single-motherhood or perpetual childhood"? You need to expand your circle of friends and get out more.

Answer 4

All women are selfish and express exaggerated sexuality? Um, well, I'm here now and I'm not selfish nor do I go around and sleep with a bunch of men. I'm 34 and I've only had sex with my ex when he was my husband. In my life, my jobs have been in child care, helping people with developmental delay, a home health aide for the elderly, and now I'm a Dog Training Instructor. I took care of my husband with his health issues. Hmmm.....guess that took care of how women don't nurturer anymore. I'm sorry, you must live in a bubble where all women are alike. Come outside and meet all the different kinds there are in the world.

Answer 5

I think that the assumption that back in the old days women were nurturers may not be exactly true. Women were supposed to be nurturers and as one can see in Victorian literature those sorts of qualities were venerated in women. However, as we see the past through rose tinted lenses we forget all the other functions that women fulfilled in the past. They managed farms, worked in factories, acquired an entire set of practical skills, they raised men up, they destroyed men, and they had dreams and ambitions: romantic, sexual, intellectual, and spiritual. Read accounts of wives of famous poets, politicians, writers, and artists of centuries past and find a variety of female personalities. Even in those times, the ideal mother and wife and the actual women who were supposed to fulfil those roles often didn't collide

In addition to this, women were denied most legal rights, were considered chattels of their husbands or fathers, were not protected from domestic abuse, lived under a code that severely punished the slightest hint of female unchastity, and in the event of divorce were not entitled to financial support or even the custody of their children, which until the turn of the 20th century would automatically go the father.

Firstly, addressing your concerns about the state of modern womanhood. In Victorian England, some 20-30% of children were born out of wedlock, similar to modern figures, and fathers would not pay child support like they do today. An estimated 10% of women in London were prostitutes. Modern society has given women protection as well as social and sexual freedom. As a matter of fact, I think that the position of women today is similar to that of women in pre-modern societies without strong patriarchal systems and inheritance which made controlling female sexuality essential. In many such societies, divorce is relatively common, sexuality is not so taboo, and women are not merely valued as mothers but as producers of food, textiles and so forth and they exist as part of the community, not stashed away in suburban alcoves with their fancy SUVs and only their children for companionship.

There are inherant differences between the sexes. However, I think that the old system would often marginalize and isolate women from mainstream society, while now women and men interact in a more natural way. I think that this isolation and non-fulfilment that you speak of in women is a larger trend in society in general where extended family networks are breaking down and communities are becoming less cohesive as the population becomes mobile. I think that people are just generally too stressed and the two-income strain is due to the process of conspicuous consumption not the ravages of feminism where a 4 person family needs a 2500 sq. ft. house where larger families 50 years ago lived in 1400 sq. ft. houses. In hunter gatherer societies, the most basic of human societies, people "work" on average 22 hrs a week, spending the rest of their time hanging out, romancing, playing with their children, gossiping, joking around and doing normal human things. The failures of modern society are mostly due to greed and excessive consumption and not feminism. Without it, there'll be more overmedicated housewives sitting in their increasingly enourmous houses, being bored to tears

Answer 6

So, what's wrong with not wanting to marry? We have better things to do with our lives than pine for husbands. In that sense, OF COURSE we're better off. And we're not as nurturing as we once were because we don't have to nurture anyone if we don't want to. Women can be awesome in ways that don't reflect the ideals of traditional femininity. But if you want a woman like that, pipe down and find one instead of complaining about it.

Answer 7

Possibly so, but sadly there seems to be no middle ground.

Answer 8

In most ways they are better off....Not in all ways...