How do you define "coming out?" (See details.)?

Question

I see coming out as a process, first acknowledging your sexual feelings (and sexual orientation) to yourself, then to others. However, some people see it differently.

To you, which of the following best represents "coming out?"
(List order is random.)

1. Acknowledgement to yourself of same-sex attraction.
2. Acknowledgement to yourself that you are gay/lesbian/bi.
3. First same-sex sexual encounter.
4. First falling in love/significant crush on same-sex person.
5. First disclosure to another person that you are gay/lesbian/bi.
6. Disclosure to family (parents/siblings) that you are gay/lesbian/bi.
7. Introducing family to same-sex partner.
8. Disclosure to employer/co-workers that you are gay/lesbian/bi.
9. Attending gay pride celebration or gay political rally.
10. Becoming socially involved in the gay community.
11. Other (please specify).

- {♂♂} - {♂♀} - {♀♀} -

Answer 1

Okay...you have answered your own question to perfection. How am i supposed to follow that one up?? Shheesh!!! :-) I think ALL of the above sums up the coming out process rather well.

Answer 2

1 2 5 6 8 : )

Answer 3

Gay means more than just sex people. This is what fundies grab and run with it. Its why they call us immoral cause we focus on the sex part. Being gay means being different. It's seeing the world from a different point of view. It means that gay people have both male and female attributes making gay more complete people than straight people who have either male or female attributes. One reason why Christians say that that you should go look for someone to "complete" you (some of the opposite sex that is. ) There is alot of things about being gay that has nothing to do with who you are sleeping with.

Answer 4

More than being a step process I think it is a personal experience. For me I told my friends first, then my sister. Then my parents. I struggled with it more than anyone. My family help me through and help me see how fabulous I am. It took me awhile. It is different for everyone. It can't be defined. I love me and I would not change being Gay for anything. Like anything accepting ourselves is a major challenge. It just so happens I was gay too. Thank God!!!! I love me some boys!

Answer 5

1, 2, 5, 6

Answer 6

Almost all of those--- except not sexual encounters and not pride parades or other events. I would be an out gay man even if I never got laid, never went to a parade. In fact, as a gay man over 30, it would take a LOT to get me to a parade!

Answer 7

When I "came out" I felt it was a cross between acknowledging I had feelings for the same sex as well as starting to tell people about it. So, I believe it's a cross between 1 and 5. When my friends who didn't know before ask me when I came out, I always say "Last year." because I recognized the feeling just before last year but I started telling people last year.

I suppose it's all how you see it.

Good luck!

Answer 8

In my opinion this is the best one

5. First disclosure to another person that you are gay/lesbian/bi.

Answer 9

For me, coming out first meant being honest with myself emotionally and then acting on my honesty. It meant letting others know, without being shameful. It meant being adventurous AND being in a committed relationship. It meant me getting involved in the gay community socially and politically.

Answer 10

Most of those are wonderful examples = )

I don't agree you must have sex in order to "come out" though, or attend any sort of pride event, although it is nice to do so. Other than that, stellar list dear = )

Answer 11

I haven't done 6-9. So am I in the closet or out. That's the question.