In May of this year we will be five years I keep asking him when are we going to get married he tells me that he loves me and we will be married, and for me to wait I don't want to be married after another five years I think that on our 5 yr anniversary he will pop the question and if he dosen't what should I do?
2007-03-27 11:23:44 · 19 answers · asked by JENN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dont want to burst your bubble but would it be so bad if he didnt propose? you could always look at it by the fact that you can keep your man without having to bind him to you? not being funny, i'm all for the marriage thing and am married (happily) myself but just want to say dont beat yourself up about it if it doesnt happen. he wouldnt be with you if he didnt love you and surely that is more important? i really hope it happens for you, love, but dont think it is the end of the world if it doesnt happen right now. and if all else fails, it's leap year next year, so why not drop it for now and then surprise him? fingers crossed for you...
2007-03-27 11:32:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, Here is the best advice that I can come up with. I kind of went through the same thing with my boyfriend who is now my husband of 5 yrs. He wanted to make sure that we were financially stable before we tied the knot. So after about three years, I told him that we needed a break to make sure that this was what we both truly wanted. I never cheated, but when he would call I wasn't always waiting for him. Also when I would talk to him I didn't talk for long. Sometimes guys just need to be reminded that you are not stuck in the relationship. But if he is the one while you are taking the space DO NOT CHEAT!!!! That will just ruin everything that you want. In my case 2 months later he took off from work (he worked off) and came home (100 miles one way) to ask me to marry him. Good Luck and God Bless. I know that it is a difficult decision ahead!
2007-03-27 11:43:03 · answer #2 · answered by heather n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well five years can be a long time to date someone without having a future committment. I do not think, however, that that is the only data that should be considered here. I think that what you should do depends on where he is coming from. Do you know what his hesitations are? Perhaps there are concerns he needs to air. It is important that you find out where he is coming from on this. If he is just hemming and hawing, then may it is time to end it, as perhaps he is struggling with fear of committment. On the other hand, if this is the case, maybe you could suggest trying some counseling together to work on getting past this and becoming committed.
Good luck
Mike
2007-03-27 11:58:01 · answer #3 · answered by lifecoachmichaelh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jenn, the reality of it is now a days being together without getting married is a bit more smart move for the two of you. What if you got married and after a while the two of you started having problem, no matter how much you love each others,things will not go perfect all the time, and because of this,one of you will end up asking for divorce, now do you think it will be worth it having heartaches in the future? Right now the two of you are living happy and your life is semi perfect except you want to get married,..........this is the time for you to think whether your relationship needs to go further,and if you decide think what might happen...........good luck to you!!
2007-03-27 11:40:01 · answer #4 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have a cousin that has been with her boyfriend for well over 15 years and they aren't married yet either. They are just committed to each other and that is all that matters to them.
If you know that he loves you and you love him then just wait and see what happens. If you pressure him to much he will probably get scared and leave.
Or you could have a talk with him and just let him know how you feel and see what happens.
One last thing you could try is if your in a store sometime maybe go look at the rings and point out ones you like and see what he says about it.
2007-03-27 11:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by blondie21_97504 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you rather he marries you when he is not ready to? If you decide to get married it should be a decision that you both are sure of not just because one of you is impatient. He may still have some issues that need to be addressed yet. If you are dissatisfied with the length of time then break it off. If you love him you should wait on him. If he's hung on this long it will happen.
2007-03-27 12:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's stringing you along... Being that he doesn't want to get married (if he did, you would have been married already, 5 years is a long time) - you have to decide if you can be happy in this relationship without marriage. If you feel that you for sure want marriage in your future - he is not your man; pack up and leave instead of wasting any more time.
2007-03-27 11:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you? if you are young then i can see why he may want to wait. maybe he is trying to get his life together financially before he pops the question (you know, secure job making x amount of dollars per year, get the house, the pop the question). besides...why are you in such a hurry to get married anyways? you have all the time in the world to get married. why can you just be happy for what you have now? did you not think that maybe because you are constantly asking him that question that maybe you are pushing him away from you?
2007-03-27 12:32:36 · answer #8 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, you don't want him to feel forced to marry you. You want him to WANT to marry you. I would tell him that you've been together 5 years and it's really important to you to be married. Tell him that you feel that IF he loves you, he will want you to be happy, and you can't be happy in this "limbo." You want to be married. And you want to be married this year. Then, drop the subject. If he doesn't propose (AND SET A WEDDING DATE) in the next 6 months, quietly pack your bags and move and start dating other guys. If he asks you "why", tell him because you don't think your feelings are important to him and you don't feel love, and you gave him plenty of warning on that.
2007-03-27 11:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are perfectly happy just living together and your boyfriend may be one of them. It's really up to you if you want to continue this way or cut your loses and move on.If you insist on getting married and he doesn't really want to, he may hold that against you for a long time.
2007-03-27 11:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by Di LV E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋