We were married for 4.5 years when he decided to leave. I found out later that he had an affair for 6 months and left to be with her. It is 4 years later and now he wants to talk. What do you think?
2007-03-27 11:21:35 · 49 answers · asked by Sippy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have moved on. I am now in a relationship and have a 16 month old baby.
2007-03-27 11:53:40 · update #1
Yes of course forgive him, what are the alternatives! Whether he ever forgives you is another story. When was the last time you gave him O to completion?.....let him do full A........did it outdoors....or in a car park...or dressed up.....or did it in a movie house..or in front of a DVD......or in front of or even with a friend.....start working at it babe.....or a thousand of us sisters will do it for you.....in a heartbeat.......and watch the weight no one wants a fat wife/gf xx
2007-03-27 11:54:16 · answer #1 · answered by JoyDivision 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Forgiving him is for your benefit as you can let go of the anger and be at peace about the relationship. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to allow him back into your life. That doesn't really sound like an option you are considering as you are with someone and have a child and appear happy.
Forgiveness is always for the one that has been wronged in my thought. Why? Because God said forgive others as I have forgiven you. Otherwise, bitterness grows inside of you and it hurts only you. He made a mistake, we all do. Accept his apology and let it go.
May your future be full of love and happiness.
2007-03-27 12:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People change and this is 4 years later .... maybe he just knows he messed up and wants forgiveness . If that's the case then yes, you should .... there is no point in carrying baggage through your life . It will do you both much good to find closure. On the other hand , if he's looking to have a relationship with you again , you have to ask yourself if you will ever be able to trust him on an intimate level . It's very hard to regain that kind of trust ..... look deep before you leap.
Good luck : )
2007-03-27 11:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by uncle louie 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
He caused you pain once in your life..and sure he may have changed, but life is different now. You are in a relationship and have a child. To live in the past is wrong. Now if he and you can handle being friends, then its always good to have people you really know you in your life. But my advice to you, is don't take yourself out of a great place in life, for the possibility of being hurt again.
2007-03-27 12:16:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldent take him back but maybe forgive him, but you can never forget what have you been doing all these years I would of thought that you might have moved on, anyways if he did that to you once and it took him four years to finally regret what he did then he is not worth it and if you take him back he can do it all over again and you will feel the same hurt all over again
2007-03-27 11:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by JENN 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he wants to talk because all was not well in paradise, no way would i talk or take him back after all this time. chances are he just wants to come back because she dumped him, and he finds himself all by his self. but he did pick her over u, and left u, that would be hard to get past, or believe he wouldn't pull the same thing again. if he didn't want u than, why does he want u now? what is his goal here?
2007-03-27 11:49:19 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HHHHEEEELLLLLLLL NO! The worst part is behind you! The heartache is over. But don't forget how he made you feel so you don't let him make you feel like that again.
You are in a relationship and have a baby, enjoy this life and forget that old one.
2007-03-27 13:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, he left you after a six month affair and stayed gone for four years. Is he that good that you want to volunteer to be 2nd string? You probably can do better. Let him find some other honey to dip his spoon into.
2007-03-27 11:28:59 · answer #8 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would have forgiven him long time ago - I don't hold grudges. But after 4 years, I would have long since moved on, and wouldn't be getting back together with him, if this is what you're asking. If he wanted to talk, I would talk; no skin off my back.
2007-03-27 11:49:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
talk about what?....he cheated end of story. Theres no logical reason why he did it. he made the bed and now hes gonna sleep in it. (i think thats how the saying goes) but damn. No way now how. 1st time screw you 2nd screw me. Dont take him back if you know whats good for u and by now 4 years later babe u should have moved on. yea i know all the memories youve had and he good time u spent together yea youll have them always but he ****** up not you!! but if you take him back its all on you, and your the one who would be screwing up. BE smart about this. hes gonna tell ou how sorry he is and how he loves you so much. dont buy it. the reason why it didnt work out with the other girl is becasue she realized that he cheated on his wife with her what makes her think he wont do it to her.
2007-03-27 11:33:30 · answer #10 · answered by chris07brian 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋