My husband wants to talk to other girls on the internet?

Question

My husband told me he wants to talk to other girls on the internet. We met on the internet and it kind of has me worried. Before and even a bit after we were married he talked to a lot of girls usually ending up as more than friends. Shouldnt I be a little worried that its going to happen again. Nothing happened after we were married but plans were made with other girls. He says I need to learn to trust him. He doesnt want real life friends as I have told him we could go out and meet people. He could become friends with guys and do guy things. But he says no to all my ideas. He just wants the right to talk to other girls on the internet. He wants on line girls as friends. Arent I enough? Am I being too cautious? Please give me your thoughts on what I should do. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions.

We do not really talk any longer, sex is nada. Its been that way for a while. He says hes too stressed and wants a release. I have tried numerable times, and numerable different ways to change things and make things better. It doesnt seem to work. He says I have been doing a lot better about everything but hes still to stressed out. I just want to feel closer to him. Ive lost weight, ive bought sexy clothes, and while he was jealous of my walking out in them he didnt say anything. I dont know what to do anymore. Ive spent the last 3 months, reading, studying and losing my pride to fix this. Divorce is not an option. Id just like to see inside his head and understand. Thanks for all the answers.

Answer 1

He wants "his cake and eat it too". Nope....you, or them. He CAN NOT have both!! Make this clear to him! If he pursues it, then do what you have to do!!

Answer 2

honey, divorce IS and SHOULD be an option. Life is too short to waste it on a man who does not care about, love you or respect you. I'm sorry if that is harsh,but it is the truth. If you are not javing sex, then that is a sure-fire sign that he is getting his fix either over the internet, or in person when he meets these girls. The fact is that he would rather have sex with these strangers than you ,his own wife. He does not love you, and there is nothing, nothing you can do to change that. Him telling you that you've 'gotten better' is controlling and scary, and he is saying that to have you thinking that this is somehow your fault. none of this is your fault, he is just a creep and mentally unstable. he has a serious problem. Please, I hate to see you waste you r life studying, losing weight, buying sexy outfits, and ultimately wasting your life away trying to please this man. If it is not enough for him now, it will never be enough for him, believe me. His actions show that you are already out of the picture for him mentally-- so please find a way to break it off with him first before he decides too. You deserve so much better than a man who puts you in second place--and to strangers nonetheless. His behavior will only get worse., and you will only get more desperate. Divorce him. you deserve better.

Answer 3

I think you are in the right by not wanting him to pursue talking with girls on the internet. Considering other peoples agendas in this day and age, there really is no purpose for it. He needs to have a real life with real friends. I think you were right by suggesting that you both go out and meet new people together and make friends that way.
If my husband told me what your has, there is no way I would agree with it, he wouldn't like it if I developed relationships with other men over the internet.
It is possible that the outcome of this issue is not going to be good. One of you is going to become resentful. Wether it be you being upset that he's always talking to strange women over the internet, or him disliking the fact that you don't trust him.
I personally would be more hurt and upset that my husband just really doesn't seem to care about my opinion on the matter. That would be enough for me to drag his butt into marriage counseling or leave him.

Answer 4

No i would be all over this too!!!Right now your gut instinct is kicking in and girl you best be keeping your eye on his actions because no this is not cool!If you guys met this way there are alterior motives already in his mind when it comes to Internet girls.What makes it okay to have theses secretive relationships with women whom you have never met and know nothing about??It's not right because if they were real life friends the right thing to do would be to introduce you to them and whatnot so really this is just most mens way of having relationships that their wives no absolutely nothing about -because well they are just girls on the net right?NO!Trust is one thing but this would make me feel insecure and abit jealous too because why can't he spend the time talking with you and being interested in what your doing and your day you know.So i would think you are right to the way you feel and should keep and eye on what he's doing on line for awhile or see hoe far he takes it you know like if his chatting time cuts into your time or excessive chatting stuff like this.Good luck

Answer 5

It sounds like it could be trouble but it could also be innocent. Is he hiding any of the conversations from you? I know my wife doesn't hide who she talks to and I don't hide who I talk to so having outside people for talking and talking only isn't much of an issue. If there really is no smoke and you come raging in, then you are likely to cause more problems than you're solving.

If you're really worried about this, make up your own fake persona and strike up a conversation with him. If he's coming on to you and flirting like a single guy then you have found a problem and can decide what to do from there.

Answer 6

When my ex-girlfriend and I started dating, she would talk to "other guys." Turned out, most of these guys somehow always garnered a way to have a crush on her, and she'd still talk to them.

Don't get me wrong, talkking on the internet is not wrong. It's what you talk about. I hav e some GREAT friends of the opposite sex with whom I chat with when I am online for something else. But do I get online just to talk to them? No.

I don't think it's so much of you not trusting him. I htink you trust him enough to marry him, but somethings raise suspicion no matter how old you are when you do it. My parents have been married for 25 years -- and if my mom started going online tomorrow to talk to other guys, my dad will definately be worried.

Talk to him and see what is it that he needs to talk to these girls about. I mean is there somehting that he wants to learn from them that he can't learn from you?

Answer 7

The simple fact that he only wants female friends would be a major red flag. The second red flag is his not wanting to have mutual friends.
In my opinion he is searching for a new something in his life and you should probably address this issue straight forward.
Make him choose them or you. If he loves you he will be willing to let them go. If not then at least you have managed to save yourself some pain.
Best of luck

Answer 8

You're right to be concerned. A married man talking to women on the internet is not something I'd be comfortable with. Almost like phone sex.

Answer 9

In the Bible just thinking about having an affair and doing sexual things with other people is just as bad as the actual sin. Him talking to other girls while being married to you is seriously wrong. He needs to wakeup and you need to place that computer in an area where everyone can see his activites.

Answer 10

Believe me, he's not just wanting to "talk" to other girls on the internet. You should start looking for another man on the internet, because your husband will soon find some babe that's more fun than you and be gone.

Answer 11

If he wants to talk to other girls on the internet or anywhere else this is cheating. Technically, unless you are with him 24/7 you will never know but I would not give him permission to do it.

Good luck!