Is it good or bad? Would it be selfish to just forget your friends that died and wipe out your memory completely? Do you suffer the bad memories just to show your gratitude?
2007-03-27 11:00:51 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Good question. Survivors guilt happens often in many diff. situations. Often times in survivors of suicide.
Anytime there is someone left behind when someone dies or is killed, there may be some guilt. There is no good or bad about it. It is just an intense feeling that happens. Moving on with our lives, sometimes involves a gradual forgetting of those memories. That is not selfish.In all actuality, those memories are not forgotten, they are just put in the back of our mind and not remembered daily, to help with the pain and in moving on.Once we have a thought or memory, it is locked into our brain forever...scientific fact..so you'll never forget, they'll be there when you need them.
2007-03-27 13:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by Teresa t 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the guilt of a survivor in those situations is certainly hard to get over (ie Why did I live through that accident when my friend died?). But, if you think of the friend that you lost, I'm sure that they would want you to remember the happy times that you share together. Thinking of your friend that way would be gratitude.
Remember how the person lived, not how they died.
2007-03-27 18:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by katrose 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My first husband went through that in 1994. His friend/employee and he were working a wreck scene and a drunk driver hit them both. The employee was killed and my husband went through this. Then in 2000 he was killed in an auto accident and his childhood friend survived. Now he is suffering the same thing. It is a very complex thing. Time can heal along with a lot of therapy. It actually is a HUGE "wake-up" call that the question in the back of your mind is "why wasn't it me?".... It is a very normal reaction in such an extreme situation. Sometimes it is a "delayed" reaction. It means nothing about the person themself about being good-bad or indifferent...
2007-03-27 18:30:05 · answer #3 · answered by millstone7201 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You know, my dad died a little over a year ago. Me and my sister have conflicting ideas about it all.
She feels bad when she is happy b/c she feels she is forgetting his death. I feel bad when I am sad because I know he wouldn't want that.
If you died, would you want your relatives and friends to be depressed and sad? I know I wouldn't...
I can't help the way I feel and I am very depressed but I feel guilty for it because I know that my dad would be disappointed in me.
My advice: Deal with it the best way you can. Whatever gets you through. If you do not suffer sadness, don't make yourself. It is a horrible place to be. People spend fortunes on medications and therapy just to NOT feel this way. Good luck!
2007-03-31 06:08:03 · answer #4 · answered by Joey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you're taking about the holocaust, survivor's guilt is sometimes felt because why did you survive and lots of people you thought were better than you didn't. Also you feel like you should have saved them somehow, but of course you couldn't. You remember the people because you loved them or because you want the world to remember them.
2007-03-27 18:06:51 · answer #5 · answered by carol j 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
everyone grieves differently.never forget the good memories of your friends and how they touched your life.but the survivor has to go on living.i lost my 18 yr. old son 7 yrs. ago.i don't think the pain will ever go away,but it does ease with time.i don't worry what other people think.i am my own individual,i live the way i think God would want me to,by being the best person i can be.far from perfect,,but always trying my best.and i think thats all he expects of us.good luck to you,hon.
2007-04-04 12:52:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋