How would you handle this in-law problem? Am I overreacting?

Question

I planned my son's 2nd birthday party at Chuck E Cheese.

My sister-in-law (who has 5 kids) called my husband's cell phone (not me) and said we don't have to go to Chuck E Cheese, we can just come to your house and have cake and ice cream (then she tried to change the time of the party).

As if that wasn't enough, she asked if she could bring a cake for one of her kids who is having a birthday next month.

I can't believe the audacity of this woman! I want to lash out irrationally! Is she expecting me to pay for her kid's party? I have gone to so many parties for her kids and never said a word. I think it is rude to suggest a cake!

She is married to my husband's brother.

My husband said "I will talk to my wife," and gave no answers.

Answer 1

lol ~ now I see why you're crabby! :-)

She is a dominating woman who will run rampant over everything if you let her. The only solution to pushy people is to push back!

Answer 2

I agree with you and hope your husband plans on backing you up. He needs to tell her that THIS is the time of the party, THIS is the location of the party. If it's not convenient for her, she'll be missed.

As far as bringing a cake for her kid....is she trying to steal the attention away from your child? Does she expect everyone who is at your son's party to bring a gift for her child as well? Unless it's a family only party where everyone will know her child, this just doesn't make sense. Your husband also needs to strongly suggest that birthday parties remain separate.

Good luck and happy birthday to your son.

Answer 3

I think it's rude that she called you husband and not you. And, she sounds controlling. It's your child's birthday party and if you want it at Chuck E Cheese have it there. She doesn't have to bring all her kids if she doesn't like it. As for the cake for her child I think it would steal your son's thunder. What did your husband say to her? Did he agree? If he did I would be taking a look at that too.

Answer 4

I would call her personally and tell her no, she can't bring a cake for her kid's birthday, if she wants to have a party for him next month she can do that. Explain to her that you are having a party for your son at Chuck E Cheese at whatever time, and if they want to come they are more than welcome to, but you aren't changing the time and location of the party. It is incredibly rude of her to suggest these things, it's infringing on your son's birthday party! Good luck!

Answer 5

oh hell no she needs to back the f*** off. Who the hell does she think she is to override ur plans. IT is UR KID's party not hers. Its not ur fault she has so many kids and wants to do it along with urs. That is so not right, just trying to free load off of u. Let her know that u already made a choice and no she can not bring another cake because this is ur son's special day. Not her kid's ARRRGG i hate free loaders. I feel u girl, let her know and be firm not rude also make sure u dont sound whiny, let her know ur plans have been made and no she cant bring another cake

oh and listen to what the person above me wrote too. U need to fix this before she tries to do this every freaking time. Also let ur husband know to stand up for u and ur plans.

Answer 6

Tell your husband to call her and tell her that it is not appropriate for her to call and suggest stuff like that. That she is more than welcomed to come to the Chuck E cheese party if she wants. That is what is planned and you will not change it.

And if he will not do it then you talk to her. Do not change your plans for your kids party due to lack of consideration from an adult.

Answer 7

Have a talk with you hubby.And then have a talk with her.You need to set boundaries now or you will have this problem for the rest of your marriage.You should have your sons party were you planned and tell her no thanks.If she can't respect you than you are going to have to put and end to her being around your family.Cause if you let her slide and get away with her behavior she will be pushing you around for ever.I know I had a mother in law like her.And I tried to be nice for my hubby's sake but all that did was allow her to put a wedge between us that almost cost us our marriage.

Answer 8

What did your husband say, I hope he told her to kiss off, you have your party for you child at Chuck E Cheese, if she wants to spoil the fun for her kids by not coming so be it, your main concern is your child and what makes him/her happy. Don't back down on this one, your child is only 2 once

Answer 9

You didn't say how your husband responded to her. If he told her no, then he handled it, if not, then he should call her and tell her no. There is no need to go ballistic, you will only inflame your SIL and make her an enemy.

I imagine that this is not the first time that she has tried to wheedle her whims out of her brother, so expect more of this in the future, unless he mans up and lays down the law.

Answer 10

wow,well, I know if I were in your place I would sure want to blow up and probably would.
She is being very rude.. I would give her a call or go to her home if you would prefer a face to face conversation,and I would let her know,that she is totally out of place,and that an extra cake is not allowed. continue with your plans for chuckee cheeses and polietely tell her that if she doesnt like the idea she doesnt have to come..
Set you foot down with her - it seems she likes to be nosy and intruding - so set you foot down.If she doesnt like it,well tough beans.. your not married to her,your married to her brother....I would inform your husband ahead of time that you planning a conversation to put her in her place.....

hope this helps

Answer 11

You need to tell her no. Your husband should also stand up for you and should have stopped the whole the second she asked the question. If she doesn't want to go to Chuch E Cheese then she doesn't have to come to the party.